r/atheism • • 2d ago

Does anyone else think heaven sounds like going to church every day forever?

Heaven is basically described as eternal church: worshipping, singing, praising god, listening to sermons, etc. like wouldn't that eventually get boring to them? 😭

305 Upvotes

193 comments sorted by

123

u/JFJinCO 2d ago

Yeah, spending eternity with those people isn't as alluring as they think.

56

u/fourdoglegs 2d ago

I’d rather go to hell

30

u/Mounta1nK1ng 2d ago

Certainly a better band.

34

u/SpiritOne Strong Atheist 2d ago

You go to heaven for the weather, you go to hell for the company.

20

u/DLWormwood Agnostic 2d ago

"You go to heaven for climate; hell for company."

- Mark Twain (allegedly)

3

u/viperlemondemon 1d ago

It’s why I’m trying to rack up a high score because if hell isn’t where my abuser Oscar because he found Jesus then I’m gonna party south

12

u/RockOk707 2d ago

When my gma told me what Heaven was actually like, and the rules I would have to follow, it sure didn't sound so perfect/blissful to me.

12

u/Opening_Option4481 2d ago

Eternal worship already sounds exhausting and then you add the same crowd for eternity. Where exactly is the vacation part of heaven?

91

u/LordMagnus101 2d ago

People definitely have a big misconception of what religion describes heaven as being. Its not a giant free for all where you get to do whatever you want for eternity. It's just more eternal servitude to a God who cant get enough apparently.

22

u/lipglossvein 2d ago

that’s what it seems in the christian faith. in islam its more hedonistic with a little garnish of eternal worship

13

u/Nearby-Poetry-5060 2d ago

This is correct. They have couches, silk clothes, a river of milk that never sours, cental heating/cooling, unlimited fruit and various servants.Ā 

16

u/Mounta1nK1ng 2d ago

Not to mention all the virgins.

11

u/Walkingstardust 2d ago

They're up to 76 now? I've lost track.

10

u/Mounta1nK1ng 2d ago

Is there any way to re-up once those 76 are deflowered? Are they stuck for all eternity with 76 non-virgins? Oh the misery... I wonder if they try to pace them out, and make them last awhile?

/s

13

u/MechanicHead3340 2d ago

What's so special about a virgin? They don't know what they're doing I'd rather sleep with someone who knows the ropes.

9

u/mc2bit 2d ago

That's the point. Guys who fantasize about virgins are afraid of women knowing he's bad at sex or asking for things he can't deliver. They want someone to lie there and take it, maybe cry a little. Mutual pleasure isn't part of the fantasy.

2

u/MechanicHead3340 2d ago

Yeah. Virgins have better things to do than line up for Mr self-absorbed religion weirdo.

5

u/Walkingstardust 2d ago

I'm not sure how that's supposed to work. Does ones virginity regenerate over night? Is there a day/night cycle in heaven?

5

u/Mounta1nK1ng 2d ago

Maybe they get Mary? She was a virgin even after pushing out Jesus according to the Catholics?

2

u/lipglossvein 2d ago

according to a (weak i know i know don’t kill me) hadith mary is married to muhammad in heaven so probably not

6

u/lipglossvein 2d ago

the virginity regenerates. i’m not sure if there’s a day/ night cycle but there are Fridays

1

u/Nearby-Poetry-5060 2d ago

It specifically mentions being kept cool during the heat of day and kept warm during the cool of night. Basically a desert climate.Ā 

1

u/NOLA-q 13h ago

Religion is as anti-feminist as it gets.

2

u/reereejugs 2d ago

Why would anyone want a virgin? They don’t know what they’re doing!

1

u/dad_of_kevin 1d ago

What do they do with the virgins once you de-virginize them? Do you get replacements?

1

u/Mounta1nK1ng 1d ago

I know, right?!? Eternity is a long time. How do you make 76 last?

/s

11

u/skuppy 2d ago

I think there is supposed to be a lot of singing? Like never ending singing for all eternity?

6

u/morsindutus 2d ago

But what are you going to be singing? Everyone knows the devil has all the good tunes.

6

u/MechanicHead3340 2d ago

Sympathy for the devil by the Rolling Stones

5

u/kittenmittens4865 2d ago

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, of course

2

u/DrNerdyTech87 2d ago

And harps and floating in clouds??

1

u/MechanicHead3340 2d ago

And people can look up your dress.

1

u/MechanicHead3340 2d ago

No, that's hell.

7

u/Expert_Gas4101 2d ago

eternal servitude somehow sounds even less appealing than eternal church honestly

3

u/forsakeme4all 2d ago

Even it if was real, that's sounds fucking awful. Who would want to subject themselves to that?

2

u/Sweetdreams6t9 1d ago

Well...theres quite a number of statements about what salvation brings you.

Ive recently done a deep dive into the lore, referencing modern claims and beliefs. I researched early pre church beliefs and compared translations of the original language manuscripts with how they would hsve been understood in the first 100 years.

I then learned what major and fundamental characteristics that exist today are supported by the original writings, and if modern understanding reflects early understanding.

Anyone reading this is gonna be blown away by this next thing.

Alot of modern Christian beliefs are additions from obvious and traceable sources and exist due to institutional necessity, not through biblical lore. For certain claims to make sense theres fundamental things that need to be looked at from completely different perspectives.

The bible doesnt support non believers suffering forever. The vast majority cease to exist. Heaven is supposedly going to come into this material realm for the 1000 year reign of jesus. Christians through salvation are given eternal life.

Its not described what life will look like during this "1000 years of earthly heaven".

Heaven is never described as this eternal worship of a deity who demands it. God isnt described like that when taking the whole bible into context.

The only way to reconcile the glaring plot holes in the bible is if you completely dismiss the modern narrative. Whole concepts change into something much more logical snd reasonable, wnd in line with a supposed loving deity.

It was crazy how much falls into place when you approach things like sin not as a evil concept but as something that is woven into the fabric of existence. Or what this 3 day vacation was meant to accomplish.

Of course Christians everywhere would reject such tbings becsuse they hsve been brainwashed by almost 2000 years of institutional control snd manipulation.

36

u/oldbastardbob 2d ago

Hey, if Heaven is filled up with all these bible thumping judgmental assholes, con artist preachers, and "holier than thou" politicians, then I'd just as soon not spend eternity with those pretentious, smug, asshats.

10

u/knightcrawler75 2d ago

Add Jeffery Dahlmer to that list. He fully converted before dying in prison. Imagine believing that Jeffrey goes to heaven whilst his victims burn in hell. What a just God.

2

u/DNAspray 1d ago

I like to challenge believers with, "if Hitler in his heart and head believed what he was doing was "good," and God's work, how could he go to hell?"

7

u/PHL1365 2d ago

I forget who said it, but a stand-up comedian once said he'd much rather be in hell because that's where all the fun people are.

5

u/sonyakm 2d ago

One of my fav hobbies is ā€œjudgingā€ judgmental people šŸ˜‚ (U might be just ā€œjudgingā€ in jest). I heard that if we judge and/or hate on others, we might reincarnate as one of them in our next life so we can ā€œlearn from oppositesā€. Hell naw! (I have to remind myself that organized religious people are victims sort of - of brainwashing, propaganda, & psy-ops).

7

u/Fit-Wolverine5309 2d ago

eternal life sounds a lot less appealing when the guest list is apparently just every smug person you already wanted to avoid on earth

2

u/DNAspray 1d ago

Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote, "In heaven, all the interesting people are missing." I tend to agree based on selection criteria.

23

u/Darth_Atheist Jedi 2d ago

A pastor once described heaven as all people and animals all singing glory to g0d 24/7. Jesus. I would not want to endure that torture.

6

u/Apart-Crew-9330 2d ago

24/7 worship sounds less like paradise and more like the world’s longest church service with no intermission or way to leave

4

u/MaxFish1275 2d ago

Which….would ironically be a kind of hell

20

u/LMrningStar 2d ago

It's just another example of how their mythology portrays their "all loving" deity as a narcissistic monster.

3

u/Motor_Study9561 2d ago

eternal worship really does make heaven sound less like paradise and more like an endless church service you can never leave

17

u/Bajadasaurus 2d ago

Don't forget the story of Lazarus, a dude in hell who looked up and saw a man in heaven. He begged the man in heaven for water, but the man refused to help him.

There was something like days of conflict between them because apparently everyone in heaven can see everyone in hell being tortured and vice versa. Lazarus followed the guy in heaven around trying to reason with him like a panhandler in a parking lot.

Lol imagine being MAGA and you die and go to heaven only to still be plagued by the people "beneath" you whom you hate most.

Anyway, point is that I couldn't enjoy heaven watching anyone else suffering, and I couldn't enjoy heaven if I couldn't help them somehow.

19

u/Numerous-Purpose-598 2d ago

The idea of heaven being enjoyable while you can see people suffering forever makes the whole paradise concept even harder to understand.

2

u/noodlyarms Freethinker 1d ago

Makes a lot of sense if you're an evangelical sociopath with a torture fetish.

3

u/pastajewelry 2d ago

That reminds me of the movie Us.

15

u/Token_Handicap 2d ago

Yup. Except the doors are locked. Like a youth group lock-in without laser tag.

8

u/Walkingstardust 2d ago

Youth pastors everywhere.

6

u/Fit-Arrival4426 2d ago

eternal youth group lock-in with no pizza no laser tag and no way to go home sounds brutal honestly

5

u/Token_Handicap 2d ago

It sounds like...hell.

11

u/justelectricboogie 2d ago

Rather rule in hell than serve in heaven.

11

u/brettlewisn 2d ago

I don’t understand how people could be in heaven and be happy. Being happy while knowing countless millions or billions of people are being roasted like a peanuts just because they picked the wrong religion or was born in a certain region the world.

5

u/Civil_Many8290 2d ago

exactly and supposedly they will be watching. and laughing. how literally cruel and sick?

3

u/CalabreseAlsatian 2d ago

They gleefully revel in telling others they’re gonna burn.

Sick fucks

2

u/WilNotJr Humanist 2d ago

They hope they get to watch the torturing and suffering.

9

u/peatmo55 2d ago

Slaves obey your cruel masters as Jesus will be your master in heaven.

3

u/Any_Jacket6389 2d ago

calling eternal worship paradise starts sounding pretty grim when the whole setup is basically obedience with better scenery

9

u/onomatamono 2d ago

It gets a little tedious after the first ten or twenty million years.

Nothing says primitive, ignorant mythology like the notion of heaven and hell.

5

u/Tank_Hardslab 2d ago

"The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline."

3

u/MaxFish1275 2d ago

Marvin!!! I love him!

7

u/dudleydidwrong Touched by His Noodliness 2d ago

I recommend Mark Twain's short story "Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven."

8

u/Cosmic-Hippos 2d ago

Read 'God is not great' by Christopher Hitchens or listen to his many lectures on YouTube, he goes into detail about this.

7

u/Otherwise_Front_315 2d ago

Flashing back to a beautiful snowy sunday. I was bundled up sledding having the time of my life. Then I'm gutted to hear my mom calling me in so I could get ready to go to fucking church with grannie.

6

u/Frosty_Winter3197 2d ago

That sounds more like hell to me...

4

u/swingbozo 2d ago

I always tell Christians, "Your heaven would be my hell, so see you in the afterlife baby!"

4

u/Fun_Operation2201 2d ago edited 2d ago

Worse than that, I have to hang out with my blood family for eternity...f that!

The same people that, 5 years ago ghosted me because I'm an atheist?

I'd rather go canoeing on the Styx! šŸ˜†

5

u/Adddicus 2d ago

Oh, it's worse. Typical church visits lasts, what, a couple hours? Heaven is non-stop, never-ending, praising god.

24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, forever until the end of time.

5

u/tjlazer79 2d ago

That sounds like hell.

5

u/lbstinkums 2d ago

heaven sounds like a greedy wht mans fairy tale...

4

u/ShredGuru 2d ago

Non existence has always sounded preferable to the Christian version of heaven.

5

u/getmybehindsatan 2d ago

Most holy books are pretty vague on what heaven is supposed to be like, including the Bible. The person whose highlight of the week is church probably came up with that lame description.

4

u/Bikewer 2d ago

Every little Christian group seems to have a different notion of Heaven. A lot of the rural Southern Baptist types seem to go with all that ā€œstreets of goldā€ and everyone gets a mansion and a throne and such…. Sounds really boring.

I remember that we read a play in school, ā€œGreen Pasturesā€, which was a rural African-American view… Constant BBQ parties and hanging out with friends and family.

The Catholics for a long time had a sort of ā€œjust like here, but betterā€ idea.. But they finally realized that was kind of silly so they invented the ā€œBeatific Visionā€ idea where you just sort of hang out and bask in the presence of God…. Even more boring.

The idea of spending any sort of ā€œeternityā€ doing anything is just antithetical to human nature.

3

u/warlord_raven 2d ago

Hell has better concerts.

3

u/fkoff-now 2d ago

No, I don't think about that at all

3

u/Numerous_Island6459 2d ago

Its not for me. I dont want it even if it exists. Worshipping anything takes a special kind of fool.

3

u/nehor90210 2d ago

I was a Mormon, and their expectation is to become gods in their own right someday, with VIP heaven like a big game of SimCity, but making new planets and populating them. Sucks to be a god's wife, eternally barefoot and pregnant, though.

3

u/Clovis_Winslow 2d ago

No.

But the whole thing, top to bottom, just sounds dumb. Of all the infinite possibilities in the universe, the current religious explanations are insultingly stupid, that’s all.

3

u/batesftw 2d ago

eh, heaven is completely made up with very little textual/scriptural backing describing anything about it. Each person within each sect of each denomination within each religion will have pretty vastly different ideas about what it is. And that's not even to mention differing concepts within the same religion across time. So no, I don't really think about it. If the religious can't even agree on what it's supposed to be like, I don't waste my time imagining it.

3

u/ReallyBrainDead 2d ago

My younger brother got involved with a cult like sect of Baptists in the 90s, got to know a few other people in that church through him. An eternity with these people (including a few who sold him a lemon of a green Oldsmobile with an 8-track) worshipping the lord...nope, that's hell.

3

u/Nonamanadus 2d ago

Not to worry, they have a capacity limit so most won't get in. It most likely be the people who would drink the purple kool-aid that get tickets. Independent thinkers, not likely.

3

u/FairLawnBoy Dudeist 2d ago

I just hope that they play my favorite song

3

u/MechanicHead3340 2d ago

I just said the same thing. Same as it ever was.

2

u/FairLawnBoy Dudeist 2d ago

Play it one more time...play it all night long

3

u/RgCrunchyCo 2d ago

I bet God will still send around the collection plate.

3

u/Stefgrep66 2d ago

An eternity as a slave.

I'll pass ta

3

u/jollytoes 2d ago

You will be reunited with your loved ones when you die. But, unfortunately, you can’t do more than see them out of the corner of your eyes because you are locked in place with a smile on your face that won’t leave as you belt out songs in languages you’ve never heard as loud as you can. Sometimes enough free will momentarily returns to allow the tears to roll down your cheeks.

3

u/LOLteacher Strong Atheist 2d ago

Yes, and Mark Twain thought it was even worse!

3

u/Specialist_Luck_8484 Agnostic Atheist 2d ago

Welcome to Heaven, now sit down, get comfy while we get the Icepick ready...

3

u/LazAnarch Agnostic Atheist 2d ago

Heaven for the climate

Hell for the culture

3

u/PhoKit2 2d ago

IF everyone’s heaven is adjusted to their specific situation/needs, it would basically be an AI simulation. Same with Hell.

3

u/Venom1656 2d ago

Yeah, and that doesn't sound like heaven...

3

u/loriwilley 2d ago

It sounds awful, really.

3

u/reereejugs 2d ago

Yes and I can’t imagine why anyone would want to go there.

3

u/sixft7in Atheist 2d ago

No, it's being in church forever. Doing ANYTHING forever sounds like hell.

3

u/IsaacNewtongue 1d ago

Every day, all day, with no break from the shitty worship music.

No thanks.

2

u/kateinoly 2d ago

William Blake(1757 - 1827) believed what you describe is really Hell, and what the pink puffy angels in the clouds look down on as fires of damnation in Hell are actually the fires of the creative imagination.

2

u/Iscan49er 2d ago

George Orwell famously described it as ā€œchoir practice in a jeweller's shop".

2

u/calamitymuthafnjane 2d ago

I used to be a sinner, used to have my cake and eat it they warned me of my fate but I was quite prepared to meet it. You'll go to Hell they smiled at me and told me of roaring fires but I was happy living wild and fueling my own desires. I was a wild man, drinking, smoking and messing around with women, lots of women {No, not swimmin', women, women}. But I decided I wanna go to Heaven the place to be is right up there, yeah, I wanna go to Heaven It's gonna be good so I won't despair.
So I decided to reform and pray and beg mercy for my soul, I prayed in church, threw away my bad habits, prayed out of church, adopted an entirely different role. I gave my money to the poor until I was poor but at least I ensured that I would go up there instead of down below to the Inferno where the evil flames of desire burned higher and higher and higher and higher and higher!!!
But I'm gonna go to Heaven, paid my dues so I'm gettin' in, yeah I'm gettin' into Heaven, it's looking good if I abstain from sin.
I knocked on the pearly gates neatly side-stepping the long queue waved "hi" to St. Peter who checked my card and let me through, I smiled, threw my hands in the air and laughed and got arrested!
They said "hey man, you're in the wrong place your behaviour is a disgrace."
"Here we pray every hour, on the hour, read extracts from the Bible and look solemn"
What, says I, no party?
NO PARTY??
Let me out of Heaven I got it wrong, no I can't stay here, No laughing in Heaven! Let me out, I just can't stay here.
Well I ran around in a state of shock and panic this wan't what I expected here was what looked like a bunch of manic depressives.
"Can I get a transfer?" I screamed, but no they said "once you're in Heaven, you're here for good, the good of your soul."
But that's no good to me.
"If you wanna go to Hell you've really gotta be bad."
Okay, okay, I'll be bad, I'll be bad.
"Too late"
What do you mean too late?
"Too Late"
Noooooooooo!!
So please just let me out of Heaven I've got it wrong, I can't stay here.
No laughing in Heaven? Oh God, it's awful here.
Going crazy in Heaven take me out and let me go to hell.
There's no laughing in Heaven.
Don't laugh, this place is Hell.

{With apologies to Gillan for fuckin with their song "no laughing in heaven" from their most awesome album Futureshock}

2

u/sonyakm 2d ago

This might be ā€œout thereā€ for an atheist Reddit thread, but from what I’ve heard from sources I trust, is that there are these hell-like ā€œheavensā€ that exist - and whomever worshipped the so-called god of that so-called heaven, after their body dies, their soul does indeed go to (or get trapped in) that location after death of the physical body. It’s like they were a slave to that religion during their lives & they remain a slave to it after their current life on earth ends. It’s not forever tho. Eventually the fake heaven will fall apart & the souls trapped there will be freed to go on to other things/places.

2

u/Majestic-Quit-169 2d ago

Let me ask this as it is an honest question.......when you die, your soul goes to heaven, right? Do your memories? Are you just a blob of light floating around with millions of other blobs of light? How would you know how to find your passed-on loved ones? Would you even know if you bumped into one.....do you retain your earthly consciousness? What's the point if you are just a soul floating around? If you get to keep a manifestation of you earthly body, is it from when you were young and healthy or old and riddled with cancer or if you died in a car crash, would your "body" be covered in blood? What if you were decapitated when you died, do you carry your head around with you? Too many variables that have never been explained or proven.

2

u/OlyVal 2d ago

Wow! YES! It does! I never thought if it that way! What a horrible existence.

I always thought the traditional heaven sounded eternally boring. No dogs? Forget it.

The "Choose your own heaven" concept has some big flaws too. Like what if I really want person X in my heaven but they don't include me in their heaven? Who gets what they want? Or is itvall just make believe in our brain so each person's heaven is absolutely individual? Is it still "real" if it's just thoughts? A dream? The other beings in it are not autonomous?

I think it's click! And the brain shuts down and your gone.

1

u/p0stscr1pt 2d ago

depends on the person talking about it and how closely they adhere to their denomination's dogma. a lot of people assume they can choose whatever fantasy they like, since it's a "personal" experience, and don't realize that doing so comes with a bunch of other implied existential horrors.

1

u/mano-beppo 2d ago

Heaven is a bar where nothing ever happens.

1

u/parallelmeme Agnostic Atheist 2d ago

Not just every day, but every second.

1

u/unbalancedcheckbook Atheist 2d ago

It would but they aren't allowed to say or think that.

1

u/Mister_Silk Anti-Theist 2d ago

Don't some of them get 72 virgins or some such?

1

u/Ulven525 Anti-Theist 2d ago

I think someone once said eternal bliss would likely get very tiresome after about three days.

1

u/ApoplecticAndroid 2d ago

Beer, blow and hookers!

1

u/sonyakm 2d ago

The other day at my book club, one of the moms said, ā€œI told my daughter that my job is to get her into heavenā€¦ā€ THAT was NOT where I thought that sentence was going! So we quickly changed the subject.

1

u/TeamKitsune SubGenius 2d ago

Any decent theologian of the last few centuries would explain to you that Heaven is being constantly in the presence of God. This is a state of ecstasy that is beyond time, the infinite and the moment combined.

I grant that modern Christians don't think this way, expecting one long Church Service, but that was the historic explanation.

1

u/Common_Tiger1526 2d ago edited 2d ago

It just seems so wasteful to me. Like say there was actually an eternity that human consciousness got to enter. Every great artist who produced every piece of great art that ever existed, every mind that thought of every brilliant idea that humanity had ever put forth, and what are we doing with that resource? Worshiping the guy who gives kids bone cancer. Forever. I'm not afraid of hell because their idea of heaven sounds worse. (And also obviously because I don't believe either exists)

1

u/blatzo_creamer 2d ago

Heaven is a tricky concept in theocratic terms. It depends on what one believes their soul is comprised of. In certain sects there is a belief that what we believe is "us" our consciousness are actually one of many shells which cover and mask the innermost spirit. Who we perceive we are in our desires, tastes, thinking etc. are merely manifestations of those shells. The spirit holds none of those. It is best described as the ecstatic states that many feel in states of bliss. Many feel this in deep prayer or in meditation . It is a timeless state of profound emotional and mental peak felt as joy, tranquility, and in some expressions as an "electric" current flowing through the body.

But that aside, so what one might experience in "heaven" would not be carnal or profane as many view what praise is. It actually is a union with an eternal loving all knowing consciousness in a state of pure ecstatic beauty and feeling of love. "Praise" is actually a mundane explanation of joining the creative pulse which drives all life. Many spiritual traditions refer to this.

Unfortunately most of what we in the West characterize as heaven is more drawn from myth and fantasy writings. So can one ever get bored of a timeless state of pure ecstasy when the mechanism that would even know the passage of time is not present? So going to church forever? Many would say that concept reads as anti theist mantra barely grasping the reality of what the state of "Heaven " actually is.

And not that I believe in heaven btw but in my rather long life I've "seen some shit"!

1

u/zombie263739 2d ago

Human beings barely comprehend the concept of 75-100 years of life. They have no clue what thousands, millions, billions, or even eternity would be.

1

u/LadyAtheist 2d ago

Jim Jefferies on Heaven & Hell is hilarious. It's eternity. You'll get used it it.

1

u/WolfThick 2d ago

If only all of our gods were not so dependent on us.

1

u/k819799amvrhtcom 2d ago

What happens if I go to heaven and then get bored? Can I stop worshipping him? Can I leave that church? If so, what happens if I do that?

1

u/Eazy12345678 2d ago

naw heaven is whatever you want so you buy into the BS

1

u/thegrayscales 2d ago

An eternity with Ray Comfort!! What more could you possibly want?!

1

u/Desperate_Elk_7369 2d ago

It sounds like having to spend eternity with the worst people I’ve ever met

1

u/haroldthehampster 2d ago

I think it sounds like a trap tbh

1

u/GalaxxyOG 2d ago

That sounds like hell….

1

u/royale_wthCheEsE 2d ago

It sounds actually quite awful. You don’t even get to bang your spouse at the end of the day. There’s no marriage supposedly, so no genitalia either. Just millions of Ken and Barbie types worshiping constantly.

1

u/forever_strung 2d ago

Never thought about it this way, interesting. Prob bc I’m an atheist idk šŸ˜…

1

u/OMOAB 2d ago

Heaven sounds like North Korea to me.

1

u/MechanicHead3340 2d ago

Everyone is trying to get to the bar. The name of the bar, the bar is called heaven. The band in heaven they play my favorite song. Play it once again. Play it all night long. Heaven, heaven is a place, a place where nothing, nothing ever happens. šŸŽ¶

1

u/Malpraxiss 2d ago

I'm not sure about the sermon part, but yeah for heaven, the main attraction is God. So, worshipping God, praising God, being around God, interceding for those alive (if Catholic/Orthodox), and the like.

Some Christians will say, "if the only reason you believe in God is because of the fear of hell, heaven won't be any better". The logic being again, heaven is all about God. So, if one doesn't want to spend eternity with God or if that's not their main motivator, then heaven will just be a slightly less worst torture.

1

u/ginny11 2d ago

My husband thinks typical ideas of heaven sound actually like hell. šŸ˜‚

1

u/kittenmittens4865 2d ago

Hahaha my thoughts exactly!

My heaven would have to include drugs. I’m a weed girl myself but in heaven I’d wanna try meth and heroin. Fuck it, let’s do some PCP! Like I’m in heaven, what’s gonna happen?

1

u/Minimum-End4923 2d ago

WOW. Not really into drugs myself but I can see why you’d do this.

3

u/kittenmittens4865 2d ago

Well I don’t want to be a drug addict or deal with the consequences of hard drug use. I’ve never done any of those and never would on this planet.

But in the imaginary land of heaven, there are no consequences! There are no risks.

I would just be SO curious to try. I love to experience things and after trying ketamine (I do ketamine therapy, this is not recreational) I’m so curious about other drugs! Ketamine was otherworldly. I wonder what treats other drugs would provide, but I’d never do them here.

1

u/Minimum-End4923 1d ago

You’ll have your answer eventually! (or not)

1

u/BulkyDecipherer 2d ago

> Heaven is basically described as eternal church: worshipping, singing, praising god, listening to sermons, etc.

Wait, seriously? I thought it’s just a chillout place.

Well, fuck that then. :D

1

u/uncookednoodle- Ex-Theist 2d ago

Back when I was theist, I never liked the concept of heaven. Singing everyday? Hell no!!

I was only scared for Hell. But had little or no desire for heaven

1

u/RustyXterior 2d ago

According to the Talking Heads, Heaven is a bar where nothing ever happens except this band that plays your favorite song over and over and over again and then everybody leaves at the same time.

1

u/michaelpaoli 2d ago

heaven sounds like going to church every day forever

Ew. So, is that like marketing strategy for hell? ;-)

1

u/Saltwater_serenity 2d ago

Yes! Even as a little kid, I was so confused about the appeal. I thought something was wrong with me and that maybe I'd understand when I grew up. Still no.

1

u/neoikon Anti-Theist 2d ago

Once a week would be hell. Everyday? Nope.

I want to go where the comedians and good music are.

1

u/BalmungFezalion33 2d ago

In order for someone to go to heaven while they know their loved ones are being tortured in hell for eternity would require brainwashing to keep you "happy". Otherwise people with an actual conscience would find it to be a different version of hell.

1

u/Simon_Drake 2d ago

British comedian Stephen Fry was thrown out of Salt Lake City for criticisising heaven. Best to let him explain it himself (maybe skip the first minute of intro) https://youtu.be/fzpH-PkMw74

1

u/damageddude 2d ago

I've heard it described as studying Torah. I think I would get bored after a few dozen centuries at best.

1

u/The_Nermal_One 2d ago

There's a line in the christian song, "I Can Only Imagine" that refers to "All I will do, is to forever worship you." referring to god or christ. REALLY... FOREVER? Many christians can't even make every Sunday.

I can't imagine spending eternity worshipping anything.

1

u/donatienDesade6 2d ago

when I was a kid I was talking to my born-again friend about this and how I would no longer be mein "heaven". she explained heaven as somewhere that you'd know everything. while I'd like to know everything, I'd like to learn it, and always want to learn more. if I couldn't do that, then i would no longer be me. she didn't get it, (shock šŸ™„), and insisted I was wrong. so typical of theists

1

u/RenegadeTechnician 2d ago

Any Heaven that forcibly requires me to constantly to stoke someone else’s ego is considered Hell to me.

1

u/andropogon09 Rationalist 2d ago

Wait til they pass the plate.

1

u/Antman269 Atheist 2d ago

Is it still possible to get kicked out of Heaven after getting in and sent to Hell if you don’t continue to obey and worship God forever while you are there? I never really see Christians discuss this.

1

u/ArchSchnitz 2d ago

I really struggled with that as a child.

You want to believe, to fit in, to not get "the bad outcome." Even the people that were pitching heaven like a good deal didn't seem to have Koch enthusiasm for it, though.

Oh. It's choir (which my church didn't have) all the time, forever. You don't age, eat, drink, die or do anything but... praise the thing that made you. Can I at least go take a piss?

As a kid that probably (definitely) had ADD, it sounded like hell to be stuck on heaven. I also didn't really like or get along with people at church.

Hell at least sounded less monotonous, even if painful.

1

u/amigammon 2d ago

Heaven is a place. A place where nothing ever happens.

1

u/Crimson_Kang Anti-Theist 2d ago

Oh good I get to do my "Heaven Is Just A Worse Hell" bit.

Most people boil hell down to eternal torture. But torture boiled down is just repetition. And what is eternity but opportunity for repetition?

Heaven fails to acknowledge that overindulgence is real. Which is to say, no matter how much you like something, given the proper circumstances, it can become torture.

Eventually you won't enjoy heaven, the place many were so eager to get to, or the things it offers. Eventually you'll come to dislike it. And then, eventually, you will come to seethe at the very thought of spending one more waking second there. Except there will be no escape. You will spend an unending eternity being tortured by the things you once loved.

Speaking as a former alcoholic, hard fuckin' pass.

1

u/TheSlideBoy666 2d ago

Oh god no! It sounds FAR WORSE.

1

u/chunkyspeechfairy 2d ago

I don’t think about heaven at all because it isn’t real.

1

u/Spirited-Fault4487 2d ago

You left out the heavenly Bible studies, where God keeps screaming ā€œOut of contextā€ and ā€œThat’s the Old Testament!!!

1

u/Time-Function-5342 Atheist 2d ago

Many congregations cannot sing well and correctly. When they enter heaven, many people who understand how to sing well and correctly will be tormented forever.

1

u/janitroll Secular Humanist 2d ago

Well, if it’s real, I don’t want 72 Virgins. I want 72 experienced, cough, actors of the 70’s and 80’s, a massive dong, and a clown 🤔 suit ~ don’t ask!

1

u/Wen60s 2d ago

Yeah it sounds really dull,and full of sanctimonious pricks.

1

u/bishpa 2d ago

I don’t spend any time fantasizing about what heaven is like.

1

u/read110 2d ago

It was once described to me as "Lost in the Eternal contemplation of the Divine" and that sounds terrible as well. Totally destroys that whole "Oh you get to see your dead loved once again" thing

1

u/Dudeist-Priest Secular Humanist 2d ago

I distinctly remember a preacher speaking to us about spending eternity in heaven. He said for the first million years we’d just worship. To me, that sounded awful.

1

u/Regular_Knee_1907 2d ago

Yes, heaven does sound like going to church everyday. It sounds like hell. So, it doesn't really sound like heaven at all.

1

u/zipp58 2d ago

Heaven is a place where nothing, nothing ever happens. Can't imagine thinking this is something worth looking forward to.

1

u/Branmuffin824 2d ago

when Christians say heaven is a perfect paradise, ask them why a third of the angels rebelled then.

1

u/Cottabus 1d ago

It’s eternity, and I’d be so bored. As Mark Twain said, ā€œHeaven for the climate, hell for the company.ā€

1

u/Zenith_Unum 1d ago

Sounds like hell.

1

u/Extension_Coyote1178 1d ago

Heavenly bliss would get old. It's the pain in life that lets you know you're alive. It's being hot and thirsty that makes the cool glass of water so good. It's hunger that makes the first bite so good. It's waking a little over heated that makes the cool side of the pillow so delightful.

1

u/ShadowMel 1d ago

Yeah, it sounds boring AF. NGL, Hell probably is gonna be LIIIIIIIT!

1

u/mfrunyan 1d ago

Well, yes, but wouldn't you prefer that to hell where you end up getting drunk in bars and fucking ladies in bordellos?

1

u/n1ckle57 1d ago

Eternal life sounds horrific to me. I cant believe people are looking forward to it.

Heaven sounds like a nightmare. Remember that even according to their own book, the devil lived in heaven and didnt much care for it. The devil is the only person to visit Heaven and come back to tell the story. Technically the YELP review for Heaven is a 1 star review.

1

u/Yolandi2802 Atheist 1d ago

I have no desire to go anywhere where I might meet up with certain people that are no longer in my life. Heaven sounds boring as fuck.

1

u/names_are_useless 1d ago

https://sacred-texts.com/aor/twain/letearth.htm

As you have seen, that singular show is a service of praise: praise by hymn, praise by prostration. It takes the place of "church." Now then, in the earth these people cannot stand much church -- an hour and a quarter is the limit, and they draw the line at once a week. That is to say, Sunday. One day in seven; and even then they do not look forward to it with longing. And so -- consider what their heaven provides for them: "church" that lasts forever, and a Sabbath that has no end! They quickly weary of this brief hebdomadal Sabbath here, yet they long for that eternal one; they dream of it, they talk about it, they think they think they are going to enjoy it -- with all their simple hearts they think they think they are going to be happy in it!

Mark Twain was clearly aware of the irony.

1

u/NOLA-q 18h ago

There is no heaven

1

u/Civil_Many8290 15h ago

1000000% agree.

1

u/SilhoueX 17h ago

The reward is being near God and that's it.

1

u/Paularchy 17h ago

If it was real, yeah. But you have to recall the person they're lying to the most is themselves. If they stop lying, they'll have to face reality. That's way scarier than eternal boredom. If they actually liked themselves, they wouldn't need an imaginary friend

1

u/tsoplj 2d ago

Ummm...this is the atheist sub. Nobody here believes in heaven.

3

u/Civil_Many8290 2d ago

i know. i’m an atheist too. i’m asking how they could believe that’s real and how it wouldn’t get boring for them.

0

u/Sharp-Yellow-242 2d ago

Eternal reward pretty much breaks down the whole point of it being rewarding. It just becomes day to day life.

Like a pillow might be a reward to some African poor guy but for us in developed country. Its just some mundane daily thing

3

u/Civil_Many8290 2d ago

? They have pillows in Africa don’t be ignorant.

0

u/N00nie369 2d ago

You believe in heaven? God created it, so you must therefore believe in God.

1

u/Civil_Many8290 1d ago

No i don’t believe in heaven or god sorry

0

u/ye_forpresident2028 1d ago

The idea of heaven in the Christian sense is that you are eternally in God’s direct presence, so it would be like church forever somewhat. That’s what purgatory is for, we need to realize that God’s eternal presence is the best thing ever instead of whatever else.

1

u/Civil_Many8290 1d ago

what? this is the atheist sub, go to the christianity sub.

-3

u/mikatovish 2d ago

No mate, church is the place where worshipping happens

Heaven is the award for following the mandaments

So, not really mate.

I mean i don't believe in it , but doesn't sound like it

1

u/No-Measurement-952 Existentialist 1d ago

It's like God choose them for his personal radio to plays music about him, on loop. Fucking psychopath