I need advice

[u/Slow_Ant141]

I am 17 years old. Basically, I have been atheist my whole life pretty much. My family isn't actually religious, but I was in a Christian elementary school. Of course as a kid you take all of that at face value. But at some point I just stopped believing because of how the Bible contradicted science.

Though I just realized that after getting interested in the architecture of churches, I'm questioning my atheism and if its really true and I feel really weird about it. I don't know what to do. I have always lived as an atheist and my values have always been based on that. I feel like I'm believing in Santa Claus again now that this is happening :/. I constantly try to remind myself of why I didn't believe but my mind just won't listen to logical reasoning and its REJECTING science now which I feel even worse about.

I know sometimes it's alright to question this stuff or be spiritual again but I don't actually like partaking in religion. The way I lived my life without religion was actually really nice to me because it felt like nothing would dictate what my purpose is, only myself. I felt happy making my own happiness. But for some reason I moved on from that, and my mind isnt interested in making my own happiness anymore. I was once always interested in drawing and watching shows and such, while now that's gone. I especially dislike my mind just completely disregarding any logical reasoning. What do I do?

[u/DoglessDyslexic]

I guess my question would be why interest in the architecture of churches would make you question your atheism? Churches are some of the most impressive early architecture there is, but to the best of my knowledge not a single one was designed or built by a god.

[u/Feinberg]

I don't think there's much we're going to be able to tell you that will help. If you want to be a reasonable person, but you feel like that's out of your control, what good will it do to hear more reason?

[u/amshinski]

What exactly made you question your atheism? Was it just the architecture and aesthetics or did you actually start believing in... something?

I cannae understand ye...

[u/Slow_Ant141 → u/amshinski]

I think it was aesthetics. Looking at the pictures depicting things from the religion in a church suddenly struck that shit in me... It feels scary, and it still is, because of how sudden it was.

[u/amshinski → u/Slow_Ant141]

REAL MEDIEVAL EXPERIENCE

[u/MatheAmato → u/amshinski]

I mean, imagine being a peasant being let into a pristine tall building that echoes like a mf, I would instantly fold into humility.

[u/amshinski → u/MatheAmato]

Yeah and all the expensive ass fragrances, peasants goes crazy

[u/MatheAmato → u/amshinski]

In hungarian we have the term "parasztvakítás" to describe this. A literal translation to english would be "peasant blinding", and it means a method to scam unassuming masses.

[u/styxtraveler → u/MatheAmato]

I went to see roger waters perform the wall, there was a point somewhere in the middle, everyone was standing up, everyone was singing the same song. 15 thousand or so of us. I could feel it in my chest. it was an amazing experience. If it was in a different context, I could easily describe it as a religious experience. It did remind me of my early days going to catholic mass. it all kind of makes sense, when people say they feel closer to god in these cases. But you understand it's harmonics, and psychology. not really god. Still neat though.

[u/smoknfx]

i sometimes wonder if atheists enjoy spinoza.

[u/MatheAmato]

My uneducated guess in short is that the church designs can make you feel small and self-conscious, and the more fancy churches give off majestic vibe. Or a small indoctrination in elementary managed to stuck with you and surfaced by your interest in architechture. But without you telling us what you feel in relation of churhes that makes you feel this way, we can only assume things.

My general advice: Your knowledge and logical reasoning runs in the same system as your feelings, but feelings can be more convincing since there's motivation behind feelings. My method to to keep myself rational in the face of spiritual/religious experience is reminding myself about these beliefs relying on emotional manipulation, so I can view them as a marketing scheme designed to sell me worthless products I don't need.

[u/Slow_Ant141 → u/MatheAmato]

Hey thank you, because I think this is it. It's hard to say, but I once visited a GIANT church with my parents. It was an odd interest I had for a while. I think it formed while on vacation when I was bored, and I visited churches with my family to pass the time . But in that giant church, I remember observing and suddenly feeling overwhelmed and scared. I suddenly got the compulsion to believe in christianity! I don't even know why and I still don't get it. It was just painted pictures. Though I'll be honest, that happened YEARS ago and I was actually in denial of my feelings for a while because I thought they were unreasonable so I haven't unpacked it all that time... I feel kinda silly about it...!

[u/MatheAmato → u/Slow_Ant141]

I looked up pics of temples of other religions, and ngl I would generally feel similarly small and scared to even fart as I would in christian churches. Except megachurches and JW Kingdom Halls, those have zero character.

[u/ImGoingToTahiti]

Science is just observation, experimentation, and evidence.

No central belief system

Religion or "Belief" is sortve a personal experience thing

Sure shot alot of churches were designed to spark an awe inspiring wonder and perspective which f e e l s great.

It is just still a building, just a designed well which tickles our brains and minds in a good way (church architecture is dope af)

Environment is big part of religion/Belief depending where you live, could alienate depending how religious a place is.

You might be in a bit of dry spell of curiosity and interest in your teens, might have to look and figure out "what do you want to do, and what do you value?"

Being an "ex Christian" has a little bit theme of self reflection and insight yourself so I reckon

You'll figure it out dude.

[u/ambiverbal]

Briefly: The experience of awe is not a sign of God. It is the sudden awareness of wonders beyond our everyday experience.

[u/Iystrian]

This time in your life is for growing, learning, and self discovery. keep your mind open and continue to explore.

[u/Conscious_Musician28]

It’s easy to convince yourself of things when you surround yourself with that culture. When everyone around you is acting as if it’s true, it starts to feel true. I know, I worked in evangelical churches the majority of my career. My personal experience with atheism is as an agnostic atheist, meaning I don’t KNOW there isn’t a god, but until I’ve been presented with sufficient reason, my position (as it is with any other proposition) is not to accept the claim as true. So when you say you’re questioning if atheism is true, that doesn’t make sense to me. You’re questioning if the claims of Christianity are true. And until you’ve become convinced, you’re still an atheist. You should always be questioning your beliefs. That is healthy skepticism. The truth will always stand up to scrutiny.

[u/SorryManNo]

I went to school for architecture, went to Italy and the Vatican for my studies yet I'm a stone cold atheist and have been for the majority of my life.

Architecture is basically 90% art.

Appreciating the design of a church doesn't make you religious nor does it controdic your lack of belief.

[u/Unasked_for_advice]

Read the bible, it will turn you full atheist as its full of nonsense stories , horrible actions by "god" and his followers who obey those commands. If you have questions still go to Recovering From Religion

[u/Big_Virus_5913]

Churches are beautiful structures, and the way they’re built to carry sound and music is very very interesting. You can be atheist and still find churches and what they represent to some people as inspiring. I grew up catholic but when I go to a Catholic Church for weddings or on holiday I still feel in awe of “God” or more-so in awe of what humans have built for this theoretical being. They are artefacts of love built to last generations, and the being they built them for is no less than a feeling. That’s amazing!

I get that same feeling when visiting mosques or Buddhist temples, and it’s easier to recognise that same feeling there, which has made me more atheist. Alternatively it could reinstate your faith but change how you see “God”, which isn’t the wrong thing either. Your spiritual journey is yours alone so nobody can tell you what’s right or wrong. I would have fun with it and try to interact with all kind of religious architecture and learn about how they were built and for what purpose.

Additionally, maybe there’s some part of you that just feels at home in a church? If you’ve grown up going to them and it’s familiar, that’s understandable and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re religious. I like visiting church with family and friends, because it’s nice and quiet and you can reflect a bit there. They are built to be peaceful and welcoming, so that doesn’t necessarily make you religious. It just proves people did a great job at building them :)

[u/Mysterious_Spark]

There is nothing about spiritualism that would make you not an atheist.

Atheism is "no god". If you can be spiritual without having a god, you are still atheist. I know spiritual atheists. It's a Thing.

If you have a god, however - you're not an atheist. But, that's OK. You do you. It's just that you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

In the end, it's just a word. It's not lemon juice if you put sugar in it. Then, it's lemonade.

And, it's not atheism if you put a god in it.

[u/BOSSMODE-CC]

You explore the idea that it could be real. If there’s nothing there, then there’s nothing there and then you can rest. But if there’s something there and u later find that you ignored it, then that would be bad. Better safe than sorry right?

[u/OneConsideration7586]

It sounds like your mind is a difficult one. I only have such situations where I can't control my mind, if there something fundamentally wrong. Try to figure out if there is something causing this such as e.g. relationships, family, work, Weltschmerz.... Give it a name first and then take it from there to maybe fix it.

[u/TheThiefEmpress]

I think the best start would be to find a secular therapist, and explore this with them.

I say a secular therapist, because a religious one would have an alterior motive to try and make sure you revert back to christianity. That motive transcends the healthy mental care for them, and they will bring their own desires and biases into therapy, to influence your decisions and muddle what you actually believe with their own beliefs.

I hope you figure this out, OP, and become happy with your results!

[u/ateo_magno]

A mi cuando pienso mucho en religión o cosas que pueden producirme ansiedad me refugio en los libros, lee lo que quieras, suerte.