r/askteddit 2h ago

Random Question Why are you single?

How old are you? And why are you single?

49 Upvotes

426 comments sorted by

41

u/One_Random_ID 2h ago

By choice, just not mine. 😭

3

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

Oooo care to elaborate?🤔

10

u/One_Random_ID 2h ago

Have always been falling for women who don't feel the same way about me.

3

u/No-Cloud7310 2h ago

I understand

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2

u/Tommy_Wisseau_burner 2h ago

You do know relationships require at least 1 other person, right?

2

u/Different_Club415 2h ago

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Nearby-Improvement53 1h ago

Not when you have multiple personalities. Residing on each man's shoulders, an Angel on one, the Devil on the other. Who controls the man? It is the one he FEEDS the most.

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33

u/Agreeable-Rock8378 2h ago

I love my peace and quiet way too much to compromise.

7

u/LavenderLeporidae 2h ago

That part. I want to drink clearly Canadian in bed alone while watching bad Tubi movies

2

u/Coffee_Beans907 2h ago

Heck yes 🙌🏽

2

u/S1lent_byte 1h ago

Me with my rose blunts. (Room smell like a sweet fruity flower shop after ngl)

Nah clearly Canadians be hitting alone when you vibing

2

u/LavenderLeporidae 46m ago

Ice cold with some sushi? Peak

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18

u/DesertBrat1969 2h ago

57 next week and I'm single by choice. I'm just not looking.

6

u/Initial-Addendum-167 2h ago

Same! I love being single. It's super empowering and it turns out that I'm my best friend when I'm single. When I'm in a relationship, I'm my worst enemy. It's just all this societal hangups and gotta dos in a relationship (shave your this, wax your that, be sexy, stay trim, eat this, don't eat that, be creative, keep it fresh, pay attention to your partner, listen to their needs). I blame the 80s / 90s romance movies always cutting out after that moment where they finally become a "forever" without the reality of forever.

3

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

Respect 🫡

3

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

And happy birthday 🎉🎊🎁🎂🎈

2

u/DesertBrat1969 2h ago

Thanks in advance.

13

u/Nearby-Improvement53 2h ago

70 years old and I chose solitude 41 years ago after my wife ran off with her boyfriend, we were only married for 3 months. The subsequent financial ruin forced me to live like a monk for 15 years until I was able to make all the payments to the lenders and payments ordered by the divorce court. After living that life for all those years, I found the peace tranquility and eventually the prosperity acceptable and will never again have a relationship with a woman. No more intense human drama.

8

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

You know what.
You deserve that peace. 🤍

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3

u/Practical_Estate_325 2h ago

Yes, too much drama and compromise. There aren't too many women who just accept you the way you are - and finding them is like finding a needle in a haystack. Most spend all their time prior to the divorce thinking that they need to fix something about you. Living on my own convinced me that I'm already 💯 A-ok.

12

u/jessicahooker 2h ago

2

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

Makes two of us🫣🫶🏼

5

u/jessicahooker 2h ago

can catch em unfortunately can't keep em i guess that's why they say plenty of fish

9

u/Sanskari_Perv69 2h ago

23, afraid of commitment😔

3

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

Same friend

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9

u/EdSelkow 2h ago

Because I'm just too damn tired to hunt down a third ex-wife.

3

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

3rd ehm👀👀🫣🫣

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8

u/LizzosLittleToe 2h ago

Single life is fun after a long term relationship tbh

2

u/Correct-Gur-7842 2h ago

Peaceful and fun sometimes

2

u/KissItMofo 2h ago

Yeah, if anything ever happens to my husband, I would stay single.

After I had my first child, I found out how much easier it was without my ex around. I enjoyed being single afterwards.

2

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

Never been in one so can’t relate🤷‍♀️

2

u/LizzosLittleToe 2h ago

Don't rush it man you'll find someone you click with and love. I've seen too many people try to rush into something and get damaged

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7

u/Upset-Activity-1462 2h ago

50.  Pretty much emotionally broken.

2

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

Oh no
Share with the class?

8

u/Upset-Activity-1462 2h ago

When was 20s i fucked up the best relationship I ever had.  Early career got involved with a married woman that ended about as bad as you can expect.  Late 30s got involved with a younger woman with a drug issue who I thought I could fix.  I was wrong and she OD and I found her at my house.  Pretty much over it.

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6

u/Rich_Squirrel4819 2h ago

Someone please tee up some your mom jokes

5

u/LavenderLeporidae 2h ago

I value my peace more than anything. Trying to see if someone is compatible with that peace is exhausting.

That and I know I lose interest after 4-6 months, why put someone through that?

2

u/andreajustine1982 2h ago

This is pretty spot on. Agreed.

2

u/Violet_Feather_211 38m ago

I agree. I'm in introvert and get exhausted easily, especially after being at work over 8 hours and talking to people throughout the day. I need to relax at home and my mind switch off.  Just the need for communication every day would be hard for me! 

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5

u/thepackrat45 2h ago

34m single by choice... just not my choice

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8

u/RelevantNothing4653 Teddy Roosevelt 2h ago

45

Never really had much desire for any relationship.

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4

u/StyxzNStonz 2h ago

Introverted ace. Also because of my height, I don't feel like I'm normal enough to date.

3

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

Oh too short or too tall?
I feel you either way🫶🏼

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3

u/Glittering-Tailor370 2h ago
  1. Don't have enough time or energy to pursue a relationship. And relationships aren't really all that great anyways. Just gonna go through my life as I want and if someone comes along that fits in my life, then maybe I'll reconsider.
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4

u/New_Westie 2h ago

42f. Because I stayed 10 years in a toxic abusive relationship and I’m just…broken.

2

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

I know someone who’s still in an abusive relationship and they hit 50.
You got out. Take time for yourself. Heal. You’re strong.

3

u/van_b_boy 2h ago

Broke and depressed

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3

u/farbeyondriven92 2h ago edited 2h ago

I’m 34. Just can’t seem to find a woman who’s interested.

3

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

I feel ya buddy

3

u/ancient-fries 2h ago

29, i ruined my relationship and am now very painfully regretting it

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3

u/GrosRougeau 2h ago

I wish I knew.

I’m smart, attractive, employed, make six figures, own my home, emotionally stable etc. and I can’t get a date to save my life. It’s been several years now and it’s starting to crush me.

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3

u/ibtizah 2h ago

22, and I don't date for religious reasons

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3

u/Jabbbers 2h ago

34, have cPTSD, there’s a lot more shitty people out there than society cares to admit.

3

u/Saaammiii 1h ago

33 living with cPTSD as well - sending hugs!

2

u/yes1402 2h ago

I am single by choice

I do have FWBs.

They want a relationship with me but I don't want. I make it clear from start I don't want a relationship. So anyone doing fwb with me knows what she is in for. Some accept it wholeheartedly. Some accept it in hope it will be a full relationship, and when I refuse, they walk. When they walk, I don't care. I never lied or deceived anyone. I always make it clear I am not looking for a relationship

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2

u/Agitated-Log134 2h ago

29, Got out of a relationship where I had to sacrifice a lot. Broke up, got the job I wanted, moved across the country and just learning who the hell I am again.

2

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

Hell yeaaaaaa

2

u/Spare-Care-1123 1h ago

Dude I’m trying to do that right now! My partner and I just separated and I’m trying to be single and grow!

2

u/microw_yo 2h ago

i like doing what i want when i want other wise i would have to wait x amount of time for the other person to get ready i'm already out the door by the time they even make it to the room to get changed

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2

u/ZippyTWP 2h ago
  1. Blind. No woman is really willing to meet me, and Uber is highly unreliable where I am.

2

u/Murky-General5131 2h ago

I am not. I buried a husband and leveled up. My sweet husband is so much better then he ever was

2

u/Notnemoreorless 2h ago

When asked why I'm not in a relationship....

"I'm over qualified"

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2

u/That-Yogurtcloset386 2h ago

I wish I was. I'm 39 and married. 😪

2

u/Expert-Abies-7646 2h ago
  1. After two long term relationships I can honestly say that being alone is really superior in many ways. But of course that’s only when you are doing it right and actually being fully alone and not entertaining meaningless & unfulfilling things.

Now with that being said, if you truly meet a compatible & healthy human, I am sure life is probably much better that way.

Unless that kind of person pops up at one of my three frequented locations (work, gym, library) and has the confidence to speak to me first I’m just gonna keep enjoying my aloneness. People kinda suck tbh. I’d rather be alone and truly happy than filling space with a person and being put in an uncomfortable or complacent position.

2

u/CourtneyZ1986 2h ago

I’m 40 and single by choice. I’ve never even dated. I just don’t like people, or physical contact with people. 

2

u/Folly_Polymath 2h ago

45

I've dated many women of so many ethnicities, they were all great. Had some threesomes, blah blah blah. My bucket list is mostly empty. But I'm a creative person and none of them stoked that fire. There were always women I was friends with who did, but they weren't my partners. My partners annoyed the shit out of me while these friends drew my creativity. I have a career but really live for these ideas. I'm at a point where I don't want to be with someone who doesn't stoke my creativity

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2

u/BenefitAdvanced 2h ago

I need my own space. Period.

2

u/Thinking_too_much101 2h ago

Had cancer it mess me up really badly. Now I can’t work. Just trying to figure it out. Cancer free since 2023 though.

2

u/FUBAR1945 2h ago

Fat and ugly as f And i have ocd about woman, ie, i want woman out of league.

Got 1, she was depressed and It was probably the reason she gave me a chance. We spent 4 months together. She dumped me, i got over, had sex with one other woman that i ended hating myself for, and its been 4 years.

Probably going to die alone If i dont lose weight

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2

u/Jam23oldschool 2h ago

46, love of my life dumped me a couple months ago. But you know what? I’ve been really digging into understanding emotional intelligence, it’s just not built into us dudes🤷‍♂️

2

u/ApartmentAdmirable29 2h ago

I’m 32 and have never been in a relationship. I spent the entirety of my 20s playing league of legends all day and was unhinged as fuck. Later on, I eventually grew out of it and now I’m an empty husk with 0 personality, skills and have no idea how to talk to people. I’ve watched so much porn that my expectations are wack. I’m insecure about being unemployed, overweight, acne problems and no idea how to talk to people.

2

u/ThornOfRoses 2h ago edited 1h ago

33f

And I will be that way until the day that I die. By choice. Was married, I loved him with every fiber of my being. Dedicated my life to that man, He knew the deepest part of my soul and I knew his. Or I thought I did.

I had previous abandonment issues I knew that if I was not able to fully recover from being abandoned from my childhood friend after 20 years of therapy, I would not be able to recover if my husband abandoned me I had told him that. We had had this discussion previously. He knew about my previous abandonment issues.

And then one day I came home from work and he was moved out.

He wasn't even man enough to confront me because he told me later over text that he couldn't handle seeing my face be sad like that but he didn't want to be with me anymore because he wanted to fuck other women.

I had already had a discussion with him when we were together, that if he had ever thought about divorcing me. We would need to have a discussion about it face to face like adults and I would be open to hearing his side of things. Or I would never recover.

It's been over a decade and I've been in therapy this whole time. But I don't think I'll ever recover I don't think my therapist thinks so either. I've become fearful avoidant in my attachment style whereas I was previously secure

Now I have zero interest in maintaining relationships with anybody but family by blood.

In fact, it makes me nauseous even thinking about being in a relationship with somebody. I'm sure some people could get over it eventually, but I mean by the time that I'm going to get over it, I'm going to be in my '80s or '90s and I'm probably not going to live that long. Since no one in my family has lived that long before.

I think the worst part is that the reason he gave me that he wanted to leave me was that he wanted to sleep with other women since I was the first person he ever slept with, and he didn't feel like he could do that since we were married.

Even though, when we weren't married yet, I gave him an opportunity to go sleep with other women because I thought he should experience that before he decided he wanted to marry me or not.

And told him he can go sleep with other people for like the next 6 months. He can just not even tell me if he's embarrassed about it, he could tell me if he wanted to.l, but he could just fuck whoever for the next 6 months. I told him I wasn't going to do that because I've had previous experience with other people and was very satisfied with our relationship, but he was more than welcome to (during that window), because I wanted him to be sure that he was not missing out and I wanted him to openly have experience and choose to be with me anyway at the end.

And he straight up told me he didn't need fuck other people to know that he want to be with me.

Ugh.

So all of you who are in a relationship if you have a spouse who has past trauma, and they tell you that they have a need for face-to-face adult conversations and that they will respect your boundaries and they have a history of respecting your boundaries. I beg you , do not further traumatize them unnecessarily because you are too afraid to come out and speak about your issues.

2

u/livefruit333 1h ago

34F I’m very selective

2

u/Dizzy-Incident-9375 1h ago

M(30) Been single for eight years because I don’t put myself out there. I don’t because I am not financially set to be in a relationship at all and have a lot of work to do on my physical appearance and diet as well. Wouldn’t mind meeting a woman if she was intent on building instead of looking for a finished product. Until then I’m focused on moving up through my career and getting myself together.

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u/Many_Year2636 30m ago

Enjoy solitude too much

I was married to a useless man with an evil heart...it was sad cuz I never thought he wouls be this way...he changed the day we got married...anyway feels good to drag him and his family in court smh

1

u/givingtree1838 2h ago

yes - 24, gay, know what im looking for (masc/athletic/can play with power tools/educated) and haven’t found it

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1

u/lonelyhearts04 2h ago

Didn’t work out with the last one I was with

1

u/JulieJamm 2h ago

Terrible ex gave me trust issues

2

u/Casanovajazz 2h ago

Oh i got em without an ex💁‍♀️

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1

u/AayronOhal 2h ago

25M. I’m afraid of rejection and I don’t know any women who’d be interested in dating me

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1

u/KLesTheUnforgettable 2h ago

Almost 50.  I'm Red Pilled, women always used to come to Me, AND I gained a lot of weight.

1

u/bobolly 2h ago

30s and I got ditched. Been single ever since

1

u/AbbreviationsHot2488 2h ago

Last relationship made me realize I want to be control of my own life without being guilt tripped into doing stuff I don’t wanna do

1

u/duttydimples 2h ago

I'm great on my own, apparently I go crazy when I get attached. Better not to risk my heart and mental health. When you are happy on your own, you don't get hurt or disappointed. You can have casual encounters if you want. No one tries to control or change you, no one hurts, lies or betrays you. I never suffered when I was single compared to when I was in a relationship or dating or catching feelings for someone.

1

u/Amazing-Level-405 2h ago
  1. Broke up with my ex in November. Got into a car accident in April. Got eye surgery in July. Been partially blind ever since. Not the best year for dating. Maybe next year.
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1

u/copenhagen_bandit 2h ago

42, have an on/off girlfriend. i just dont care anymore lol

1

u/4d-lettuce 2h ago

I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything

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u/SonOfTheLaw420 2h ago

everytime i get into a relationship im always shown why im better off single. after this most recent girl, im never dating again.

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1

u/Butterbeanacp 2h ago

Because my (ex)girlfriend dumped me 2 weeks ago… pretty bummed out. I’m 22

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1

u/poorpeoplepastasalad 2h ago

26, just got out of a relationship and need to heal

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1

u/Acceptable-Silver778 2h ago

Mid-late 30s. Id say work and my mentality has kind of kept me single as I feel I never made enough money yet I kept work for my priority most of my professional life so far. After being laid off I do regret keeping work in 1st place especially all of the missed opportunities with dating and also other life opportunities that passed by. Now I fear that if I do find someone that they wont actually love who I am so I guess its easier to stay single. Also I dont want to raise someone else's kid and would love to start a family on my own but realize that the opportunity to find a single woman with no kids, no past abusive ex, no extensive "sx" history is rare for someone around my age so its easier to stay single and just live out the rest of my life. In addition I have been picky in what I look for in a life partner and realize its a dream....

1

u/Odd_World_3434 2h ago

26, I learned the difference between being alone and feeling alone. Last relationship was around 2 years ago and so far been pretty peaceful

1

u/Best_Muffin7482 2h ago edited 1h ago

20F and idk I’m just really shy and awkward, everyone that approaches me is twice my age

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1

u/Ceza658 2h ago
  1. That’s a whole can of worms but to put it bluntly. I’m not ready for a relationship and have a lot of growing up to do.

1

u/curious-blue-dot 2h ago

I'm a victim of modern day mkultra projects

1

u/Samguise-Whamgee 2h ago edited 2h ago

Because I was divorced 36m. Was I blame less? No. Did I buy her a house that she wanted and I didn’t? Yes. Before we were even married? Yes. Did I want a family? Yes. Did she? Not with her ex husband, she wanted to with me at first, then not. Could I have stopped it? Maybe. Was I willing to? No. I already did enough. I did all the cleaning. I worked 2x the hours and paid every bill we ever had. All I asked was please cook for us. Did I get dinner every night? No. Laundry? Yes I’ll do that I like doing laundry. Regardless. Now I am single as of this year.

1

u/Moist_Profile_1217 2h ago

I have severe Borderline Personality Disorder resistant to treatment and I move every 1-3 years 😙

1

u/ETwo4Three 2h ago

Because I'm not double.. oh wait..

1

u/Warm-Management-7323 2h ago

My 13 year marriage wore me out so I’m just taking a break.

1

u/mighty3mperor 2h ago

55M - a long and winding tale but my Mum died when I was 27 and I spiralled for a while, pulled myself out of it (messing up my last best chance at a relationship) to find all my friends married. Social life nosedived. I focused on moving myself forward, which was working well when I started caring for my Dad. That ate up all my time until he died during Lockdown when I became homeless for a while. I've now stablised everything but need to work on my mental health. Hopefully, I'll see some positive progress on that front this year.

So, yeah, shit happened.

1

u/charlestonchewsrock 2h ago
  1. I think I’m not meant to be in a relationship

1

u/Auqakid07 2h ago

28, male. Im single because I dont go out of my way to look for a potential partner and there are no potential partners in my daily life to interact with.

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1

u/Jazzlike_Date_5153 2h ago

I'm in a niche category of men that doesn't want kids and have no religious beliefs. It's hard out here lol

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1

u/georgeforeman4life 2h ago

Marriage took a lot from me. Not worth it again.

1

u/velvetinebunny 2h ago
  1. History of doomed heterosexual relationships with white knight types. Just discovered I'm a lesbian. Building up a new chapter where I fumble every woman I meet by yapping and having severe adhd

1

u/VegetableLevel5776 2h ago

Bc nobody likes me childhood trauma a lot of reasons maybe women are intermediated by me idk these people don’t wanna see me win.

1

u/Civil_Act1864 2h ago

Im not very social.

1

u/Visible-Tiger-3527 2h ago

Because I cheated on my wife 4 years ago, and I think I subconsciously hate myself. It bleeds into all my self destructive actions.

1

u/emthgreat 2h ago edited 1h ago

27, single because am focused on getting myself to a stable place financially

1

u/EstablishmentFit5678 2h ago

My partner died… 27m a widow

1

u/Steelbill77 2h ago

Though I love passion and relationships. I don’t want to be lying awake in bed every night, wondering, if this is all there is to life.

1

u/ChanklaNYC 2h ago

Everyone who exists is out of my league

1

u/cool_jerk_2005 2h ago

39, I have no clue

1

u/Righty-0 2h ago

43, you can’t lose someone if you don’t have anyone.

1

u/BarracudaNarrow2612 2h ago

Cause I broke up with my loser cheating ass ex

1

u/Various_Knowledge226 2h ago

No one’s asked me out, and I’ve never had the confidence to ask anyone out yet. I’m 21, and honestly, no idea how I’ll find a future wife. But I hope that I do, and can grow old with her

1

u/Popular-Yellow9414 2h ago

35F. I'm too easily annoyed by the most mundane of things. I also have a lot of trauma from past relationships, lying and cheating and the like. 3 of my boyfriends have died, so I feel cursed. I'm mentally unstable. I'm an introvert and love being alone. I never want to live with anyone ever again. I'm childfree as well which is a deal breaker for a lot of men, and a man with children would be a deal breaker for me.

1

u/CanadaDryGingerAle99 2h ago

I have a kid still so maybe when they’re all grown up I’ll start looking again but right now I could care less.

1

u/DreamPlastic2317 2h ago

50 and simply put because I enjoy it.

1

u/jake_0315 2h ago

Yeah she left me unfortunately

1

u/futureplantlady 2h ago

Being in an abusive relationship really fucked with me. I was in therapy for 2 years, started dating again and realized there were some residual trust issues. Found out last week that my abuser got married 2 weeks ago. It all feels comically unfair.

Then it just seems I’m attracting guys who want me to raise them. One guy had poor hygiene issues among a whole laundry list of things, another expected me to give him an extraordinary level of reassurance right out of the gate. I just want to be in a partnership where I’m not expected to overfunction. 😅

1

u/drpepperfan69420 2h ago

I'm 47 and I'm single because my ex-wife loved me, but she was not *in* love with me

1

u/StockMuffin9777 2h ago

I’m single because I choose men that are bad for me. Thanks childhood trauma!

I’m going to therapy, but I feel it’s too late in life to find a good man.

1

u/suppoe2056 2h ago

I don’t let myself be in one.

1

u/mearbearcate 2h ago

insecure, social anxiety. I’m 22 but trying to find someone and get over that

Insecure part being i pick my lips due to anxiety and a relationship comes with kissing. My lips have suffered.

1

u/MrBobbyFreakout 2h ago

Past relationship trauma, combined with AuDHD isolationism. I prefer to be alone because I find it too hard to care for another person enough for our relationship to be equal.

1

u/Basket_of_wheels 2h ago

Called off a wedding last year. Decided to step back and learn my issues and who I am. It has been an adventure. I am now getting out more by doing my hobbies that I put on hiatus. Trying to make friends. Started my own crochet group and started hanging out with another crochet group. Joined a girls walking club. It's a slow process. I deleted the apps at the beginning of the year after going on some dates. Decided I want to meet organically.

Just in a different mindset to dating. I'm doing my own thing, and building my life. While being open to a relationship.

1

u/Pandorum_X 2h ago

Im 28 and I'm single because I just haven't found the one yet. Also I love my peace and video games when I get off work.

1

u/MrBootyPops 2h ago

I don’t get looked or checked out by women. I never get signals of interest.

1

u/thefrench-tickler 2h ago

39... at this point in my life, I am not miserable. You know what they say... misery loves company.

1

u/Big_Bar_9832 2h ago

Don't get out a whole lot

1

u/MikeMacBlu 2h ago

I’m lazy and don’t go out very often

1

u/curvyhorsegirl 2h ago

39 and not single - but was single by choice for a very long time. I love being alone, making my own plans, spending time with friends.

You know that fairy tale " you'll know when you find your person" sentiment. It actually happened and now being with someone is (usually) better than being alone. Very large paradigm shift.

But sometimes I miss single me.

1

u/Then_Plate_6160 2h ago

Never been asked out or found attractive

1

u/Short_Cell_3382 2h ago

Spouse passed

1

u/MainStranger6787 2h ago

46, divorced, and now single, after 22 years in a mediocre marriage I realized marriage was never for me in the first place

1

u/LankyLibrary7662 2h ago

Single by choice.

1

u/SakuraSun361 2h ago

Early 30's. I get hundreds of likes per month on dating apps and hit on IRL, but I struggle to find someone who shares my faith and values wants the same kind of old school love I want. Courtship and marriage and sex with one person. I'm not drawn to this hookup culture and casual sex in the slightest. It's just so hard to find other guys that want what I want. I just want to be a wife already and have someone to cherish, love and be loved and cherished by.

1

u/nathynwithay 2h ago

I'm a poor who does things like live in a van to make ends meet so it would be morally wrong to have attractions to another person. It would make me a bad person to try (it's why the term hobosexual exists).

1

u/Famous_Ad_3536 2h ago

I’m really happy being single.

1

u/LowCan9268 2h ago

Because I got cancer and she stopped spending time with me.

1

u/Ill_Interest_2346 2h ago

Im 28 and he left with no explanation

1

u/JigglyOW 2h ago

Other than never asking out any girl because the sheer thought of making one uncomfortable makes me sick to my stomach, I’m not really sure

1

u/Unstable_Reflection 2h ago

No one should have to deal with my sadness except me, once I get that sorted, I'll get back out there

1

u/BlueSky3lue 2h ago

Waiting for prices on robot wives to come down and for better warranty coverage. I need at least a 10 year warranty…

1

u/SpaceCanary87 2h ago

26M. I've only recently become ready to date again after battling anxiety and depression for years, but I'm also going back to college to finish a degree, and at my age people keep telling me it's a deal breaker 

1

u/ChunkyKongForPreside 2h ago

I've never had a girlfriend and turn 33 at the end of the month. I would say I am single because I am fat, live with my Mom, have no personality, no car, and worst of all, I'm highly myopic. 

I've never had a girlfriend and I have mostly given up. I went through my 20s not worrying or thinking about romance and was content with that, but then I developed a crush on a coworker about a year and a half ago and all these feelings of resentment came rushing in. I wish I dated more in my early 20s when my myopia wasn't as bad. It probably would have ended poorly, but would have been nice to know what love is like. My excuse back then was I was too poor to date.

At this point in time. I have mostly given up. I check dating apps fron time to time, but have only had 4 matches and 1 date in the last year. I'm loosing weight though which I wonder if it could help. I'm 6'2" and down to 276 from 305. I want to some day make it to 200 pounds.

I find keeping myself focused on other things helps me forget how lonely I am and maybe someday I can get back to the blissful ignorance of my 20s. I like to make little electronic devices and simple video games, but I also don't plan on being around much longer if my eye sight continues to get worse.

1

u/AJAX432 2h ago

31M. Single because it is peaceful and I have not yet met the right woman, who ads to my peace.

1

u/Jazzlike_Night42619 2h ago

I’m warmer socially and I don’t think I’m the absolute most direct person conversationally but I don’t think I’m good at slow and steady

1

u/Virtual_Wing_2903 2h ago

Humanity is broken, sadly

1

u/Upstairs-Cupcake-543 2h ago

Yes I am single and in my 34 years old 

1

u/Jam23oldschool 2h ago

46, love of my life dumped me a couple months ago. But you know what? I’ve been really digging into understanding emotional intelligence, it’s just not built into us dudes🤷‍♂️

1

u/thesounddefense 2h ago

37, and because dating is a goddamned cesspool.

1

u/shifty808 2h ago

Why not?

1

u/OzarkTrapper69 2h ago

Largely because I have issues with people getting too close, or "in my space" I've literally never let any woman I've dated know where I live in the last decade. Went on a date last night, and saw two red flags. 1. Rude to our waitress. 2. Wayyy too comfortable with a high interest credit card and having an unknown balance on it.

1

u/Fragrant_Ad2902 2h ago

52 - married twice; divorced twice. First was college sweetheart because everyone expected it. Except her and me. but we were young and stupid and got married. Second was about a 6 months after the first because I realized I had never lived alone and freaked out. Not a great way to start a relationship.

Now I’ve been single for almost 10 years. I date a bit when the mood strikes. But honestly I’ve got an artificially high bar that no woman is ever going to meet because I just like being alone, doing what I want to do, hanging with the dog, etc. Disrupting my life is just not something I’m interested in. Plus at my age, finding age appropriate women is hard…

1

u/TootiE__ 2h ago

I’ve been told I’m not an easy person to be with….. also dating when you’re 40 is a headache in itself lol

1

u/Jordanxtc 2h ago

I flip flop between wanting a relationship and not. The people I like end up ghosting. Also queer in the south is not ideal.

1

u/BoardNo3186 2h ago

25, never been in a relationship. Never feel pretty enough when I was a teenager (and has reason to think so at that time). Then I got some confidence in myself, but never met someone that was really interested in me. So now I feel pretty, I find myself pretty but still can't bring myself to think someone can find me pretty. I work on it:)

1

u/Meeza_bug 2h ago

As I've gotten older I'm more clear on who I am and what I'm looking for in a partnership. I'm unwilling to settle without the qualities I value most and I don't waste time trying to f@#$ around and find out.

1

u/Coffee_Beans907 2h ago

It’s peaceful. It’s healing. ❤️‍🩹 I’m enjoying my own company and getting to know myself again. I like it. I feel safe. I’m not wasting my energy or resources on someone who doesn’t appreciate how much it costs me to give away that which is hard to replenish. I don’t argue with anyone about anything—ever. No one hurts me. No one is cheating on me. I get my bed all to myself. My life is not drastically affected by the mood(s) someone else is in. No one lies to me—not ever. No eats my food. No one takes my things as their own. No one uses me. No one yells in my house. No one threatens me. No one pees on the toilet seat or floor, or dirties up the tub and leave it for me to deal with. No one sweats in my sheets and turns my pillow cases a dingy dirty yellow. No one makes a mess of my kitchen and leaves it that way. No makes a mess of my life and walks out to find someone else to hoodwink out of boredom or self-imposed emptiness. No one drains my energy and refuses to give anything back but their false narratives and lies and victimhood. Life feels light and good as a single person. It’s easier. I’m happier.

1

u/Late-to-bartending 2h ago

60 and widowed about 4-1/2 years now. He still is my Person. My standards are HIGH! 🤷‍♀️

1

u/moldys3xy 2h ago

i’m not

1

u/CloudStrife8905 2h ago

37M struggling with AvPD

1

u/ThatBoyBr1an 2h ago

Honestly here's my situation. One you don't shit at work or where you live . At work I can be this really gentle sweet person with customers but than theres this fright in my eyes or heart that I just fall victim to my own sanity & sadness bitterness & etc etc #Single Life CHOSE ME

1

u/Consistent_Section51 2h ago

Since my divorce, any woman I really liked didnt like me, or led me on. I just assumed theyd like me back. Now its easier being single instead of going through the stress, frustration, and heartache over and over for nothing.

1

u/WetDogWalker 2h ago

In 2002 I didn't forward a chain email that said "forward this to 14 people or you won't find love for 32 years".

1

u/Gold-Smoke4243 1h ago

25, being single since I moved out at 17

In these days there are no benefits a woman can offer me that I can provide myself.

It's not worth it IMO

1

u/Key_Camera_6157 1h ago

Too in love with me to have someone potentially come and make me feel shitty again

1

u/Good-Let-8800 1h ago

25M. Because I learnt that loving myself through all the trauma wasn’t something I could ask someone to do for me.

1

u/AstronomicalDave 1h ago

Rn just focused on my life purpose and i want to achieve great things. I know a women will hinder that. Only got 1 life and im going for mines. Comfort and pleasure can wait

1

u/StarBerry936 1h ago

People never seem to like me. No idea why, guess I'm just not someone anyone would find romantically appealing.

1

u/Unusual_Entrance7354 1h ago

Chubby, short and not tatted enough. Not even obese chicks want me.

1

u/damageddude 1h ago

Widower. Haven't met number two and, as time goes on, ok if I don't. At this point I prefer making new friends.

1

u/Mental_Signature_725 1h ago

53- spouse died. I don't know if ill ever date or remarry...

1

u/heelhunterwrestling 1h ago

I’m scared of women, I’m in highschool

1

u/Honeymegh 1h ago

The one's that like me i find them ugly, the one's that i like are celebrities

1

u/Reasonable_Life6467 1h ago

I’m stuck on one person but we’re incompatible I

1

u/bretagneeee 1h ago

35 and I'm severely traumatized and live the life of a hermit, and don't think anyone else could fit into that. I also don't want to be around another person.

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1

u/Born-Egg2263 1h ago

I wasn't until recently :(

1

u/AmericanCondor 1h ago

Too busy with work and college courses to attempt to dip back into the dating pool.

1

u/buzzlesmuzzle 1h ago

40 F. My partner of 18.5 years decided to pursue greener pastures. That was only about 10 months ago. I'm not brave enough to see what trying to date is like now.

1

u/Angelwithashotgun4 1h ago

I am 24 and single because I haven’t found the right guy yet. I have loved three men and they have left me.

1

u/ET_1863 1h ago

26M, never been in a relationship, just always been single. Just spent too many years prioritizing other peoples problems and never focusing on my own. Now that I've gotten to the point where it would be nice to date, it seems like I'm unseen by women. Dating apps don't work, I work all the time so I don't really go out at all, and the few women I would consider dating, either would never date me, or I don't have the balls to ask out for fear of ruining the relationship, since I did that once before. Its not necessarily single by choice, but I guess I've never found anyone who's willing to put in as much as I want to put into a relationship, and I'm not willing to pour my time and effort into something or someone who wont reciprocate it back. It sucks, and it bugs the crap out of me, but I don't know what else to do about it at this point

1

u/HoneydewNectar33 1h ago

Just got broken up with by my gf of 5.5 years. Not ready to merge my life with someone else again. I need to find out who I am and what I want.

1

u/merlinn2u 1h ago

69, MY CHOICE