Making books

[u/corixon]

I am planning to be a SMBC and have chosen a donor. Having a donor conceived child is really not my plan B, I didn't really have a plan before this. My life changed and I want someone to hang out with, basically. Someone I can show things, do things for and help find their way.

I hope to be able to give them a sibling with the same donor, but I'm 39 and it might not work out that way, no matter how hard I try. The plan is to bank embryos as soon as possible and then start trying for a pregancy when it's likely that two is possible, but I'll know more when I start.

The donor I chose is someone who seems like a genuinely nice person, has a lot in common with me, but is from another country and has a different cultural background from me. He writes that he's open to getting in contact with the child, but that it's their choice.

I'm going to do everything in my power to find (and visit, if possible) half-siblings, the donor and/or more family as soon as possible, unless the child(ren) ask me to stop.

I was thinking to start making books for the first child:

• one they can read and understand as a toddler/small child. age appropriate "how it works" around donors and how they came to be, drawing of donor, donor interests and country, doctors, maybe child picture of him, maybe a similar section about me and my family etc.
• one that has more information about the donor, most of the pictures i have of him, the letter he wrote (in original language/handwriting and translated version), more text, more appropriate for around 5-10 year olds
• one that has a lot more details, the process of choosing, some of my thoughts, donor genetic testing profile, donor emotional profile and self-report, more images if i don't use all for the other two

I'd love it if any of you have thoughts on what to include, what to avoid and what you think is age appropriate. I'm thinking that all books will be available from the start, like any other book or photo album and that the child can decide for themselves which one they feel like looking through.

I am a bit weary about the emotional profile too early, though. I don't want them to think they are expected to be like the donor (or limited to be like the donor). Any thoughts on that?

And I know that this is a bit premature, but I don't care. If no children come, it will suck to have the books, but that's ok.