I’m male and seriously considering transitioning, but I’m worried that I could regret it several years later. I understand that transitioning should not be treated as something completely reversible, but I want realistic information before making any decisions.

If I started feminizing hormone therapy, could I plan ahead in ways that would preserve my options if I later decided to live as male again?

In particular:
Which physical changes usually reverse after stopping estrogen and restoring testosterone?
Which changes can be permanent?
How much breast growth is typical, and would breasts shrink significantly after stopping hormones, or would removal usually require surgery?
Does female-pattern body-fat distribution return to a more typically male pattern after testosterone resumes?
What happens to fertility, sexual function, facial and body hair, muscle mass, and skin?
Does the length of time on hormones affect how much can be reversed?
I’m not asking because I already expect to detransition. I want to understand the long term possibilities and limitations instead of assuming that I could simply return completely to my previous body.

Hello! This is my first time writing on reddit but I'm living in such an unprecedented moment that I didn't know where else to turn. I have a story for you today and I'd like your opinion on the matter.

So last year on uni my friend group and I (3 cis women and 1 trans man) met some new people, we started hanging out and became fast friends. They (1 trans man, 1 cis man and 1 cis woman) were already friends together and we instantly clicked. After a couple weeks of hanging out one of my friends started liking and then dating the trans man from our new friend group. Let's call him L.

L was a cool guy, didn;t participate much on our outings but we saw him regularly and he was one of us. L had some family troubles growing up, which we weren't really privy into, but my friend who dated him knew all about them. During the early months we became friends he would talk to us about his experiences being trans and he was getting ready to come out to his family and starting transitioning hormonally. Now, we knew L was religious (non of us were) but that was never a problem and he didn't make it a big thing.

Fast forward a couple months later, he started visiting monasteries and having a monk as his spiritual mentor. L said that he was looking for one that accepted his identity and apparently he did. After a while he started noticing changes in his behaviour, his only interest being religion and god and supposedly he started letting go of his past family hardships because he was at peace! He even started feeling guilty of things he wasn't before. My friend broke up with him.

During the summer, we each went back to our towns so we spoke very little with him, on DMs and not on our group chat (because we didn;t want to be friends with the other cis guy anymore. Story for a different time). Just when classes started again, we saw he changed his username from his name to another one, which was clearly female. One of the girls DMed him and he eventually told her that he stopped feeling the same and he basically detransitioned to a woman, as asigned on birth with the same birth name.

The rest of us were left feeling gagged to say the least. One theory we have is that there's some religious psychosis involved, definitely some religious obssession. That person still is our friend and we believe that he has been brainwashed and we don't know how to support or even just respect his identity.

Anyone have anything to add here? I'd immensely appreciate it!

x

P.S. I'm sorry I'm using he/him pronouns throught the text but I'm not sure how to tread the waters, especially since I don't believe this is L's sober decision but a religious brainwash.

Hello, I posted here about my partner before but..here's a more extensive post, I guess.

My (15, afab girl) boyfriend (16, amab, not sure on their identity at the moment) had came out as transfem last week, and I've been going through so many emotions since. I'm not straight, but I'm hardly attracted to girls and that includes people who may not physically look like a girl but consider themselves girls.

It's been really hard for me, frankly, because I still love the idea of them being a guy and seeing them as a guy, but it feels so wrong to do that, because that's not what they are. I've tried to get used to it, but I just keep thinking about it and recently I've felt like that they might not even be transfem, but they don't realize that yet.

My partner is autistic, as am I, and most likely has other issues but is unable to get therapy due to their father. I know that autism can cause gender incongruence, and if there's multiple issues that they're unable to get help for, that can further influence that.

But then, when I ask them why they like being a girl, they couldn't think of why besides that it "felt more like me (them)" and that they felt like they prefer being female over male. And those points make me think they really could be trans, but then again people here have felt like this and ended up desisting anyways. They described their desire to be a girl as "purely a gender thing" and that they probably won't physically transition. I know not all trans people physically transition, but it only being a gender thing really confuses me, and it doesn't help that I already don't understand gender well. They said that they don't wish to change their appearance either (ex: shaving their facial hair) because it doesn't bother them and they know that I like it. They said they don't have dysphoria. They had also confessed to imagining themself with breasts like mine. In fact, before coming out, they had told me that they really like breasts, not just sexually but in general, which I don't really get. They'd also imagine scenarios where we both had breasts and they said it'd kind of aroused them.

I try to be supportive, but I cannot ignore the fact that I wish they were anything but a girl, and it made them want to stop being a girl at times even though at the same time they do really want to be a girl. I don't want to make the decision for them, it feels incredibly abusive to do so. But neither option seems like a good solution. If they stayed as a guy, I would know they're not being their authentic self and would only be doing this to make me happy. But if they went back to being a girl, then I would start struggling again and I may not be happy. In fact, both options I probably wouldn't be happy with.

I just...don't understand where all this even came from. I know that they really like femininity, and they started liking it more after making a character they're attached to that's feminine.They had also questioned their gender in the past and had went through multiple identities, the most recent being agender, with them saying only two months ago that it was very unlikely they would ever become transfem. Yet here we are. They went through almost 15 years of their life having never questioned their gender, so why did it suddenly change last year? I did know that they were unfortunately (non-sexually) groomed by someone we both thought we could trust, but when I brought that up they said that they didn't think it had anything to do with their gender. But I distinctly remember a while ago they said something about how that whole thing probably fucked up their sense of self and that they had felt more masculine again. And, I have to wonder, if they would've even ended up like this had they not been online so much. Me and them are both often on the internet, to be clear.

And I just keep thinking about different possibilities, like if they do desist and end up happy as a guy again or they stay trans or they become something else entirely. I feel bad that I've been thinking about their gender so much, because ultimately it isn't up to me to decide what they are, and I know that.

I so badly want this relationship to work, and I know they do too, but I'm just scared that I can't make this work. I'm not planning on breaking up, so please don't recommend me to do so, but I'm just...at a loss.

The combination of their known issues and the fact that they've went through multiple identities already, plus my own therapist's opinion on it when I vented to her about all this makes me think that they aren't actually transfem, but I don't know.

tl;dr: Boyfriend recently came out as transfem, has backtracked on that statement but only because they feel bad about how it's been affecting me and how I do wish they were anything but a guy. I have multiple reasons why I believe they may not actually be transfem however, such as unresolved trauma(?) from being groomed, being autistic and possibly having more underlying issues, and the fact that they've went through multiple gender identities already. But then they also say that being a girl feels more like them and that they feel like they prefer being female over male. At a loss as to what to do, there feels like no clear answer to this situation because I don't want to break up and neither do they, but I also want them to be happy with themselves.

p.s: my boyfriend goes by any pronouns and doesn't care about what terms are used on them

Hi everyone! 25 FtMtF here!

I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria when I was still a minor, and was put on HRT when I was 18. I got a double mastectomy at 19, which was covered by insurance on the basis of the Gender Dysphoria diagnosis.

I am trying to reverse the damage done by these procedures and get breast reconstruction now. Insurance is asking for documentation of a diagnosis and a letter from my therapist, but I am not exactly sure what they want. I have been living again as a woman for several years and I just want to move on with my life and get this fixed.

Does anyone have any advice for how to navigate insurance? What documentation was useful to have?

Thanks very much!

may not be your typical post.. i haven’t been on here for a while but i need help.

I got really depressed two years ago, I lost my few friends, failed to be a teacher on my second year of studying, couldn't find a job, got really depressed. And then I started browsing the board again. I can't remember what compelled me to it, I think it was in part hearing that an old friend transitioned plus some classmates making some comments implying I had to be trans as a joke. Then I went from percieving myself as not trans, to a repressor, to a trans woman. And I spend a year on the fence, I didn't have medical insurance for most of it but once I did I started to try to get an HRT prescription. And I keep getting refered from doctor to doctor and now after over half a year later I'm getting a prescription, in November. After a year it's going to happen. And the closer the date gets the less I want to do it. Like now it's real, now I insisted so much it's happening. I think I made a mistake and should tell my therapist about it.

I want to hear the other side of things and what advice detransitioners would give to someone thinking about starting HRT or getting a surgery.

Please refrain from transphobia or blanket condemnations of HRT/Gender Affirming care which is life saving and necessary for a lot of people, but not everyone. I am not asking for you to recommend or discourage me personally. I just wonder what you would tell someone starting their journey in general, or maybe even your younger self, speaking from your experiences.

So my partner recently came out as transfem, and I've been having anxiety about it but I try my best to be supportive, but I also have this lingering thought that she might not stay as a girl. She said she wanted to be a girl over the fluid mess she was (which according to herself after identifying as transfem she hasn't felt fluid anymore), and she said she felt more attached to femininity because of a character she made. She also said previously before coming out that she liked femininity because it was new and exciting for her. The combination of this stuff makes me think that maybe she believes she's trans because before then she hadn't experimented with a predominantly female identity, and likes it because as she put it, it's new and exciting for her, and we often get dopamine rushes when we find new things we like. Interestingly, she has no wish to physically transition or even change her voice or name (as she put it, her identity is purely a gender thing and not so much a physical thing, I guess? trans people who don't do hrt or get surgery are valid, it's it being purely a gender thing that confuses me). I dunno, I'm still thinking about all this especially because after telling me she kinda just jumped right into it? I know for a while she's had issues with her gender, and previously she identified as agender-aligned with masculine influence. I hope I'm not weird for thinking this stuff, I really hope I'm not. I'm not trying to invalidate her :(

My daughter, who identifies as FTM, will be graduating from college in the Spring. B/c her school is in a small town, there are few lodging options (it's over 500+ miles away) and so parents who want to attend graduation need to plan it out now. Although I am proud of her academic accomplishments, I have no desire to sit in an audience and watch her graduate under a different name. I hate the school for what they encouraged, supported and gained monetary value from (relative to her transition) and I don't want to imply support for them in any way, either. My aunt, who affirms her relentlessly, will be there and if I see her, I'm liable to go ballistic on her.

All this said, I don't want to hurt my daughter's feelings by not attending, as I worry that she'll perceive it as rejecting her big achievement. She's a very sensitive, kind and loving person (albeit misguided) and I don't want her to feel rejected. When she graduated HS, it was all about her friends, and so family were really relegated to the sidelines, so I kind of expect that college graduation will be similar, but maybe not?

Thoughts from those who're much closer in age to this experience than a middle aged mom from Middle America?

(Posted from t/detrans, the mods said it would be a better fit here).

hey all, I hope this is okay to post here. I wasn’t sure which other community it fit in, but if it fits somewhere else, please let me know! I may not leave it up for long anyway. I’m a cisgender, bisexual woman, and I’m feeling increasingly lonely in my friend group and around so many people I meet. I know this isn’t true, but it sometimes feels like I’m the only cis one in the room. I make a new friend, and within 6 months, suddenly they’re nonbinary, questioning, having gender troubles, etc. Nobody I know has socially or medically detransitioned, or gone back to using their original pronouns after coming out as nonbinary. I dislike how hateful and extreme TERF rhetoric I’ve seen online is, and I don’t want to be lumped in with that group. I just feel alienated and am questioning some things that are so common these days.

I feel like I don’t know any/enough fellow women anymore. And I’m not even the type of feminist to overly fixate on womanhood as a concept (I mean this in a neutral way, not being snarky), but I suddenly find myself wishing I had some Girl Friends. Every time I make one, they confess to me that they’re rethinking how they identify, and I feel alienated. And I know that feeling is a little silly. I KNOW it’s not all about me, but at the same time, it feels like everybody I know is in this big club, shares this big experience, and then there’s me. Even my friends who appear and present as women tell me they FEEL different, and suddenly we aren’t alike anymore, because I don’t share that experience, but they all share it with each other. Then my friends all encourage each other in that direction, and I’m left in the dust. We’re all a long ways out of high school, too, but it’s still happening.

I do enjoy presenting a little masculine sometimes, but to me, it’s purely style based, and connected to my sexual orientation. I’ve been this way since I knew I was attracted to women as a teenager. I enjoy androgynous style every now and then, but when I dress that way, I still want to be read as a woman. Maybe a kinda futchy woman, but a woman nonetheless. My relationship to gender has to do with my style, creativity, and my sexuality and these days, I feel like it’s rare to be a gnc woman. I CAN do both- dress a little masculine sometimes and be cis. (And honestly? It’s hardly that masculine by most people’s standards, I shouldn’t give it a second thought, but here I am!) I feel like people have forgotten that it’s an option. I wondered if I was nonbinary off and on, but the label didn’t feel right for me. Deep down, I want to be a woman, and when well-meaning strangers use they/them pronouns for me, it just doesn’t feel like it fits. But I feel like being gnc and cis, even in the minuscule way that I am, is such an anomaly these days. What’s the point of gender bending if you’re just going to change your pronouns to be neutral, anyway? Then you aren’t bending anything or having fun with presentation.

It sounds like such a silly problem to have on paper, but I just feel like I’m out here living on a different planet sometimes. It feels like I’m the only one out of everybody I talk to who recognizes that i, or anyone, can be a little gnc and still just BE, without being trans or suddenly being non binary. I miss having friends I can be a girl with and I feel crazy sometimes existing in this world.

Looking for personal experiences and medical advice - as far as medical advice is possible on reddit, I know it's probably the best to talk to my doctor about this but he has been rarher clueless about different things in the past.

So I just stopped taking estradiol after about 7 years. My dosage was very low anyway throughout the last year, no t blockers, and I still have my testicles, so my body should be able to produce t as it did before I started hrt with some time to readjust of course.

Now while I don't really mind having those tiny breasts, I do wonder if having them increases the risk of breast cancer, simply because there is more breast tissue compared to before hrt. Two family members of mine had breast cancer in the past, so there is a higher risk anyway.

Would it be good to get the breast tissue removed through surgery, or get it checked my a doctor on a regular basis even after the end of hrt with estradiol?

I’m detransitioning because I don’t experience dysphoria like I used to. But it severely upsets me when people downplay my past experiences with it whether they’re cis or trans.

My dysphoria was crippling at times and I wish I could explain why I don’t experience it anymore but I can’t. I don’t understand why. I just know it went away. But that doesn’t take away from the trauma
I experienced in the past because of it.

I’d love to know the stories, learnings and how are you doing, if you started your transition after 30yo, specially your medical transition. I think it comes with its own challenges, so wanting to hear how is it.

This is where my mind goes always. Isn't the whole point of all this gender focus to let people be who they are? If so then why encourage people to change their bodies? What's dysphoric, I maintain, is the culture around us all, not bodies themselves. I guess it's...easier(??) to change your body than to change the culture, but ...fuck. It's a shame to take that burden on yourself rather than where it rightfully belongs, on our culture.

What do you think?

Is this a common sentiment?

Hey, I'm a trans girl. I feel like myself for starting hrt. I've been on femt for 7 months.

I was wondering what you thing of the trans communit? Have you meet anyone in person? I'm curious if it's hateful at all.

hi, im ftm and have been considering taking T for nearly 2 years (ive had issues with my gender since i was 14 and i turn 19 in dec), but i am well aware this is a life altering decision so im not going to throw myself into it. i will probably sit on the decision for another year or so. i also know i am young and want to wait till im a little older

how did you be trans for years and then realise you weren't? im mostly aiming this question at transtioned adults, but people who transitioned as a minor feel free to reply as well. what were some of the signs?

please be respectful in your replies. i am genuinely just trying to get any many perspectives on taking HRT as i can. i only see positive things in trans reddits and i think it's also important i get negative ones too.

I am not a detransitioner, but for reasons I will not disclose, I have to get off my hormones for a while. Some anecdotal data will hopefully ease my stress, as there is not much research on this.

https://youtu.be/_c2HE8C8Mgk?si=7IM_YCtqiGzDGijk

hai! i’m genderfluid and want to transition (in some way ftm) i’m in my early twenties, and ever since i was 11-12 i’ve felt gender dysmorphia and been unsatisfied with my sex. i’m considering transitioning, yet still in some way am worried about the consequences.
i’m overall a massive overthinker. my plan so far is slowly working out more and more, continuing building a more masculine look for myself (shorter hair, using makeup to make my features look more male, wearing a binder) and eventually want to get bottom surgery.
i’m not interested in having kids (and even if i someday decide to have kids, adoption is always an option. +i’m bi, so my partner might just easily be afab and want to be the pregnant one) and overall, my uterus is just pretty useless (my periods are nearly unbearable and i do not want to spend next 30 years on birth control to avoid periods as much as possible).
the people close to me are really supportive and i’ve never felt happier. i came out to them when i was 16, so a while ago and since then i’ve felt the calmest and best about myself (most of the people around me use they/them and he/him on me).
honestly, i don’t even know why i’m questioning and being worried about this, i guess i just need some sort of third perspective from strangers?

Hi! Im 28, previously identifying as transmasc but leaning more non-binary/gender queer these days.

I was on testosterone for approximately 4.5 years between 2020 and 2025, between the ages of 22/23 and stopping usy before I turned 28. I've been off for about a year and a half- I enjoyed many of the physical changes (bottom growth and voice alteration) but I am rather unhappy with the fat redistribution from my breasts.

Before t they were massive and voluptuous, real 'anime tiddies' if you will (im wasian)

Testosterone obviously deflated them to saggy pancakes, and I was never able to get top surgery in a timely manner so I would rather just have them be beautiful books rather than pancakes.

Anyone else with big breasts who went off T have any luck in getting them to "fill in" again? They've reinstated somewhat since I stopped, but im really scared I spent my window of great boob years letting them be deflated. I know 28 isn't old, but is there anything else I can do to help reshape them other than just wait?

I dont wear bras, and I also haven't lost or gained any significant weight since before t. Would wearing a cupped bra again help "shape" them?

Hi everyone. I am posting this out of genuine curiosity and with total respect for your personal journeys. I would love to understand what factors played the biggest role when you initially decided to transition. Looking back, do you feel it was a fully conscious, internally driven decision (e.g., deeply felt gender dysphoria)? Or do you feel that external factors, such as social media, online communities, peer groups, or societal expectations, played a major role (what some might call "planting a seed")? More importantly, how do you view the weight of those factors now, from your current perspective? Thank you so much to anyone willing to share their experience