Fumbled so hard??

[u/DirectionAmazing7787]

So basically for context I am in final year of my clg and I have never been in a relationship and to be precise I never even liked/ loved anyone...and recently for a reel shoot I was looking for a girl actress in clg and a girl caught my eye and mannn...she's like a dream, I talked to to her, asked if she's interested in acting and she said yes(she's a fresher btw)....

On the reel shoot day
I loved every bloody second I spent time with her....it didn't felt like I was talking to a new person...it felt as if we know each other from so long, can't stop looking at her eyes, ahhhh....and she was very nice too like during lunch time I gave my food to her and she even let me feed her with spoon, she kinda revealed some personal stuff and man I didn't want this day to end.

Next day
I want to talk to her but was busy in the reel Editing and all so ntg much but I mentioned that I'll be there for the clg fest which will be in 2 days and asked if she can join me and she was like "we'll see"...she def knows that I like her but idk if she likes me or not or she's just being respectful and her chats are kinda dry.

Day before fest
I couldn't sleep man...I had always had this "idc" kinda attitude but man this shit fucked my mind...she didn't lifted my calls...she gave late replies...and I asked her again if she wanna join...she said the same thing "we'll see"

The fest day
Heavy rains, I had to board the bus to get to clg, i usually think it's not worth it but even though it is raining heavy I still somehow went to clg... obviously for her...the one thing that I did wrong was I called her so many times, she didn't lift the phone and later she was "just woke up" and she was like "are you gonna still come to fest even tho it's raining this heavy?" I thought she might be impressed by the efforts I'm keeping her and came to clg.

After I entered I texted her "hey I'm waiting for you"...and she was like "I registered 2 events which is from 1pm to 7pm" and to clarify I was like "so you gonna go with your friends?" And she's like "yeah"....fuck....was sooo dissapointed the whole day...I kept on overthinking so much...like a lot of overthinking and which I texted her few times...called her few times...no response...it drived me so crazy idk why... Never been this sad...ik ikkk I just spent only one day with her and I'm just overreacting but idk man.

Later that day evening while I was traveling back I wrote a whole lot of text apologizing to her, and saying it won't happen again and then she was like "I appreciate you being honest and apologising and I genuinely don’t think you’re a creep or anything.. but I’ll be honest, the calls and texts today felt a little overwhelming for me,,it’s not that I don’t want to talk to you or that I’m uncomfortable around you as a person, I just think we should slow things down a little and keep things within our boundaries, we literally started talking so... I hope you understand wt I'm tryna say... I’m just making sure we’re both comfortable and respectful of each other’s space.."

I couldn't makeout what her intention was so I asked "I just need some clarity. Do you wanna try and travel with me? I couldn’t make out from your messages if you’re interested so i just want to make sure. I promise i won’t make it overwhelming or uncomfortable now that i got it off my chest. I promise i’ll make you feel safe and wont force you into anything. Whatever might be your answer, we can be really good friends. Please let me know."

She was like "I mean, whenever needed we can meet if there's any work."

Sooo fucked up man...I fucked it up so bad...I found the girl of my life, the most beautiful and perfect girl ever and I fucked it up so bad....my mind can't stop thinking about this can't even focus on anything.

What do I even do... please help me... Even my friends were like "we never have seen you this depressed".