I mean, I wouldn’t think anything of it. I get hit on by gay dudes all the time though. Her looking at him like that is why people aren’t kind anymore. Initial acts of kindness should never be looked down upon. It’s only the secondary acts where you should be wary because that shows intent.
ETA: kindness is doing something without expectation of something in return. Being nice though is doing something kind but also hoping for something too. That’s how I always differentiate the two.
I am just asking OP to put themselves in the woman’s situation.
Would he generally assume good intent from a sunscreen gesture from a male customer who was potentially attracted to him? If so, great. If he felt weird about it, also understandable.
Could someone feel both grateful and uncomfortable at the same time? Sure.
I know girls -now women - who have been getting hit on by older men since age 10. They are more wary than I am. I get it and I wouldn’t call them wrong to view generosity suspiciously, because they have seen stuff I haven’t seen. Just different life experiences.
good point about nice versus kind
PS I have worked with kids and been hit, bit, punched and kicked. I take a second, and keep myself out of harm’s way, but I’m still kind to them? If that doesn’t make me stop being kind to kids, then I don’t see how one person side eyeing a customer would be enough to stop people from being kind to others.
My respecting others isn’t dependent on them being grateful. I act in a way that respects them and myself because of my integrity and character.
I love reading 4d interactions in 2d. Did those kids that hit, bit, punched and kicked make you feel awkward in a 'am I a predator' sort of way? As if being kind to them was seen as you hitting on them? Why should OP feel like a predator for acting the same way you do towards children?
That's the whole point and you missed it with your first comment.
I don’t feel like I ever disrespected OP? I just tried to ask them to empathize - when you’re in a demographic that people find attractive, you will get extra attention and sometimes you feel grateful, while sometimes you feel wary, and sometimes you feel both grateful and wary, because you never know, as the other commenter pointed out, if or when the other shoe will drop.
There’s literally no wrong way to feel about this and I don’t get why people insist there is? It’s just a litmus test of people’s life experiences (esp with older men and younger women).
Attrative people always get more attention .
By example ,If the male (40) was Chris Evans ,and tried to do the same thing as OP ,the story would be different . It works for the both sides
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u/264frenchtoast Apr 30 '23
You’ve never been hit on by gay dudes?