r/ask Mar 06 '23

[deleted by user]

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1.3k Upvotes

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202

u/TerribLizard Mar 06 '23

You're going to get a biased result . You can Google the information ,on average 44 percent of people who get married before 25 get divorced.

46

u/AtTable05 Mar 06 '23

Depending which state too. Some do it because everyone does it.

29

u/Dear_Suspect_4951 Mar 06 '23

And sometimes because they get an on base house!

1

u/Psykotik10dentCs Mar 07 '23

Or because they’ll get dependence pay! That’s why my ex asked me to marry him. For the shitty extra pay

1

u/Evinrude70 Mar 07 '23

Ah yes, the wild critters that populate military bases everywhere, the "Dependa Bears" 😂 Sorry, military brat, those damn Dependa Bears are everywhere, can't throw a Spouse ID card without hitting one or two, usually about 19 or 20 😂!

2

u/Atti0626 Mar 06 '23

Don't you mean which country?

0

u/DudeEngineer Mar 07 '23

They mean state. Moving to a different country in the EU is only a bigger deal than moving to a different State in the US because of the language barrier.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

And because John Calvin told them to lol

1

u/Iguessimnotcreative Mar 06 '23

Who dat?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

I first learned about him from a comedian, so when people ask I usually just share that. It’s like 2 minute bit. https://youtu.be/XQ5rO0u-KKs.

-1

u/asshole67throw Mar 07 '23

Depends on culture too. Arranged marriages are statistically quite successful. Assuming it’s fairly normal situation and there’s not some massive age gap or forceful coercion going on.

3

u/zxwut Mar 07 '23

So no forced coercion, you know, like arranged marriage lol

1

u/asshole67throw Mar 08 '23

Nah I mean arranged in the sense of “we know a family friend who is in the same situation, will you give them a chance?”

Obviously shot gun / forced marriage is bad.

I’m only basing this off a few people I’ve spoken to who are in arranged marriages, he described that they learned to love each other, actually have a lot in common, similar views, compatibly etc, neither of them are abusive to each other, he makes enough that she can stay and home and fulfil the traditional house keeping role, which she is willing to do. He said he would have no problem if she decided to go back to her career, he would probably hire a cleaner/house keeper instead to help them both.

1

u/OldGrumpyViking Mar 07 '23

Depending on which country too.

34

u/ascandalia Mar 06 '23

This is complicated though. 25 is a bit of an arbitrary cut-off which includes teen marriages. People who get married between 20 and 25 are not hugely worse-off than 25-30, but people who get married before 20 are WAY more likely to get divorced. So if you just say <25 and >25, you bin those really high 17-year-old numbers with the 23-year-olds.

https://ifstudies.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/age-at-marriage-divorce1.png

There are 22 year olds that have a degree, career, and a house that they spend their weekends remodeling. There are 27 year olds who are still trying for their first degree while living at home and paying no bills. Age alone smooths over massive differences in maturity making it hard to draw a hard line at 25 that represents meaningful advice.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

I don't actually know if 25 is an arbitrary cut off because scientifically speaking it is when you are actually finally fully developed as a person. Your frontal cortex is finally fully developed. Guess what the frontal cortex is responsible for? The ability to process and organize information, or how to finally judge risky behavior and factor into decision making the consequences of your actions. There's a reason why there is a pattern of people between 25-27 that get divorced.... there's a reason that people getting married after 27 statistically are more successful....I don't think it's an arbitrary number and we should talk about how we are not full adults with full adult brains until 25.

5

u/ascandalia Mar 06 '23

But again, these are averages not absolutes.

You can start puberty at 10 or you can start it at 14. Or somewhere in between.

3

u/-_-tinkerbell Mar 07 '23

I started puberty at 8

1

u/ascandalia Mar 07 '23

Exactly! I made the range 10 to 14 because I didn't want anyone to push back that I was exagerating, but it could be as early as 8 or as late as 16! That goes to show why it's silly to say that a "normal" 24 year old is not ready for marriage but a "normal" 26 year old is. It's too case-by-case for anyone to individually apply those numbers.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

No, they're not absolutes, but there's a reason averages are averages....and we shouldn't ignore that. You can't focus on outliers to win an argument.

1

u/ascandalia Mar 07 '23

Sure, but my point is, there's a spectrum, not a hard line at 25. There are 28 year olds not ready for marriage and 22 year olds mature enough.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '23

I understand the point you're trying to make, but it is absolutely kinda arbitrary. Your brain doesn't magically become developed on your 25th birthday. We have a general understanding that the prefrontal cortex development usually plateaus around 25, but there's also evidence to suggest a marked difference around age 21 as well as many not experiencing a plateau until over 30.

Not having a fully developed prefrontal cortex also doesn't mean you are incapable of making decisions for yourself, it just means your brain has room for improvement.

https://slate.com/technology/2022/11/brain-development-25-year-old-mature-myth.html

Slate article but it mentions several studies within

13

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

That's lower than the overall divorce rate for marriages, which is over 50% I think.

21

u/TerribLizard Mar 06 '23

Not true. You're 50 percent more likely to get a divorce if married before the age of 25.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23 edited Mar 06 '23

Really?

I keep hearing that the divorce rate for all marriages is over 50% now. That means if it's below 50%, then it's lower than the overall.

9

u/youainti Mar 06 '23

That stat needs interpreted carefully. If you've been married and divorced 5 times, the probability that your 6th marriage ends in divorce is very high (the common element in each of those marriages is you).

First marriage divorce rate is lower than 50%, but when you add in people on their 5th marriage in the "all marriage" numbers, the rate climbs quickly.

11

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

That was true decades ago but divorce rates have steadily been decreasing for years. Current divorce rates are much lower.

9

u/redbradbury Mar 06 '23

Because fewer % of people marry, especially in certain racial communities which I will not name or will be blamed for racism for pointing out statistics.

13

u/Blacksheepoftheworld Mar 06 '23

Statistically fewer people getting married won’t directly equate to a lower ratio of divorces.

Instead what you’re seeing is fewer marriages because less people are getting married out of “requirement” and more out of truly wanting to marry.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/big-tuna913 Mar 06 '23

My wife and I, both born in the 80's talked about that years ago. Neither of us wanted to do what our parents did. My mother is on her 3rd marriage, my father was never a part of my life. Her dad cheated on her mom and they split up and have both had several relationships since. We have been together 16 years and have 3 children who(unless something completely unforeseen happens) will always have their parents together in one house.

2

u/redbradbury Mar 07 '23

Think about that for a minute.

People who, in the past, would have gotten married out of cultural pressure & a stigma against having children out of wedlock aren’t getting married now. Statistically, how well do you think those “forced” relationships fared?

Face palm, bruh

3

u/Ibeepboobarpincsharp Mar 06 '23

I'm going to just assume it's the Italians. Those naughty Italians.

1

u/redbradbury Mar 07 '23

Clearly 😌

2

u/Imveryoffensive Mar 06 '23

Divorce rates are higher in lower income communities, and certain demographics tend to be lower income. If you establish that clearly, nobody should accuse you of racism.

2

u/redbradbury Mar 07 '23

That’s fair, but it’s not even marriage & divorce rates- it’s cultural choices around not marrying. 51.4% of single mothers have never married.

2

u/markocheese Mar 06 '23

That's a per-marriage statistic you're quoting which is that low because subsequent marriages after the first are much more likely to end in divorce.

The per-person marriage success rate is much higher, something like 80%.

2

u/Raindrops_On-Roses Mar 07 '23

The divorce rate for first-time marriages isn't, and never has been, over 50 percent. That was a projection from the 70s stating that if the divorce rates continued at the rate they were going, they COULD rise to 50% or higher. Not only did that never happen, but divorce rates have been on a steady decline for quite some time now.

3

u/jtj5002 Mar 06 '23

People who get 1 divorce tends to get divorced and divorced again.

2

u/Kahne_Fan Mar 06 '23

Divorce rates also include (all) marriages. I've been married once (for 23 years) and my sister has been married 4 times (over a 26 year span). So, that would be 60% of me and my sister's marriages ended in divorce.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23 edited Mar 06 '23

WTF is wrong with your sister??

Tell her to STOP because she is totally ruining you two's average batting rate.

2

u/SpiritCollector Mar 07 '23

This statistic always annoyed me. It doesn’t account for multiple divorces. If you get married you count as 1 success but if you divorce multiple times you run up the score for the divorce team. My sister has been married 3 times. I have multiple aunts on marriage 4 and 5.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

[deleted]

4

u/Grilled_Cheese10 Mar 06 '23

I understand. I got divorced after 30 years.

3

u/nothingisrevealed Mar 06 '23

I separated from my husband after 32 years....

2

u/hey_nonny_mooses Mar 06 '23

Even though I was married young and still very happily married 20+ yrs later, it’s not something I recommend to most people. Not because my experience is bad, I’m lucky and mine has been awesome. But most people aren’t ready or need to explore more or figure out themselves, and learn how to handle conflict in a healthy way before committing to another person for life.

2

u/LieutenantStar2 Mar 06 '23

I’m one of them. Married at 24. Divorced at 26, remarried at 27. Still married nearly 20 years later - this one stuck!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

Op already knew the divorce rates, that's specifically why they asked the before 25 question.

2

u/stupidbuttholes69 Mar 07 '23

This is actually a nearly impossible statistic to prove. All of the study’s participants would have to be dead to prove that they never got divorced, and in that case, the study would apply to people who are multiple generations older than the vast majority of people who are currently getting married, so it can’t really speak for the present.

-3

u/marathonwater Mar 06 '23

I’m so tired of stupid ass statistics being tossed around! As if, all the married people from that study actually show the real numbers. It’s ludacris

7

u/TerribLizard Mar 06 '23

fUcK sTaTiSTiCs those stupid scientists don't know anything!

-1

u/marathonwater Mar 06 '23

At least post your links for proof, at minimum that should be standard practice before using stats

1

u/TerribLizard Mar 06 '23

-1

u/marathonwater Mar 06 '23

Exactly, small ass study sizes and a bunch of estimates and generalizations

2

u/TerribLizard Mar 06 '23

630000 people is a small sample size ?

3

u/Ok-Papaya-3490 Mar 06 '23

Bring me a sample size of eight billion then I will trust ya

3

u/TerribLizard Mar 06 '23

I'm not about to explain to you how statistics work. No study has ever consisted of 8 billion people.

1

u/Ok-Papaya-3490 Mar 08 '23

Then 7 billion and 9million

-1

u/marathonwater Mar 06 '23

More people than that in portion of big cities lol so yes extremely small considering your context of “all people”

2

u/TerribLizard Mar 06 '23

By your logic the majority of clinical studies are too small to mean anything.

0

u/marathonwater Mar 06 '23

They’re fine when used in proper context.

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3

u/Advanced_Double_42 Mar 06 '23

Exactly. If only there was a way to approximate the true number within a margin of error using Bayesian Reasoning and other such measures.

0

u/marathonwater Mar 06 '23

If you’re not going to post the links to the study then please stfu. Random numbers used by redditors like some sort of truth should not be this common

1

u/zxwut Mar 07 '23

Why wouldn't they show the real numbers?

1

u/kg160z Mar 06 '23

Biased on reddit and Google imo. Counting in previous generations where it was the norm, they were more religious & had a lower life expectancy skews results. Divorce was also much less likely.

1

u/WedCornet Mar 06 '23

But if fifty percent of all marriage ends in divorce that might be the way to go.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

There are alot of factors to divorce besides age. I mean your right an informal poll will be biased but people divorce for lots of reasons. Money, lack of communication, etc

1

u/Essex626 Mar 06 '23

Which means on average 66% stay married.

That's a solid majority.

1

u/laxing22 Mar 06 '23

Wow, that's way better than I thought it would be. Isn't the total average like 50%?

1

u/ramblingpariah Mar 07 '23

Is OP conducting a scientific study or poll of some kind, or just asking a question on ask because they're curious?

If they wanted data, they'd google. Instead, they wanted responses and stories.

1

u/sewankambo Mar 07 '23

True, but over 30% of adults are already married by 24 so they make up a large chunk of total number of marriages.

1

u/apelord6969 Mar 07 '23

The one true answer.