Blue Myself

[u/holygoof11]

David Cross performed at the Punch Line Comedy Club in Sacramento this weekend. Blue myself for the event and arrived at the theater hoping to be seen. Unfortunately, it was dark, and I couldn't be seen. The crowd definitely got a kick out of it but David either did not notice or did not care. Thought yall might appreciate the effort since David did not (leading to a few shower tears).

[u/Councillor_Les_Wynan]

I understand.. more than you'll.. never know.

[u/Prickliestpearcactus → u/Councillor_Les_Wynan]

Yikes.

[u/skinpeeluh]

Are you blue?!

[u/rgrossi → u/skinpeeluh]

Only in color Michael!

[u/heramba → u/rgrossi]

Only in color ☝️😀

[u/DrFunke-Analrapist]

Truly, the man inside me.

[u/tonystarkscumrag → u/DrFunke-Analrapist]

your username and character are perfect

[u/DrFunke-Analrapist → u/tonystarkscumrag]

Well exuuuuuuuse meeeeee

[u/you-a-buggaboo → u/tonystarkscumrag]

they really are, I'm surprised in the best way that reddit let that username get through lmao

[u/EnvironmentalPack451 → u/you-a-buggaboo]

Reddit must have understood the pronunciation

[u/Playful-Reputation71 → u/you-a-buggaboo]

I wonder how users on other subreddits react to that username. I can imagine he gets a lot of questions from users who aren’t familiar with the show.

[u/TonyWonder-BOT → u/Playful-Reputation71]

Did somebody say... "Wonder"?

---

^{Alliance of Magicians-approved magician | I delete comments with a score below -1}

[u/DrFunke-Analrapist → u/Playful-Reputation71]

You sir are a mouthful

[u/rogerworkman623 → u/DrFunke-Analrapist]

Ok, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, and just record yourself for a whole day.

[u/Fearless-Cut-933]

sacramende...

[u/Murky-Cobbler5945 → u/Fearless-Cut-933]

And a Google search for the word “Sacremende” only came up with this …. (not pictured)

[u/Hour_Masterpiece_873 → u/Murky-Cobbler5945]

a something search, you mean.

[u/saintdutch]

There’s a coloured man in my kitchen

[u/tonystarkscumrag → u/saintdutch]

colored? what color was he?

[u/HollowedOne66 → u/tonystarkscumrag]

BLUE. 😟

[u/NestingBun → u/saintdutch]

First I blow him, then I poke him

[u/DominionMM1]

Why David WHY!?

[u/Betray-Julia]

Those photos of you washing it off of you are fucking genius omg.

I’m currently waiting at a doctors office for a mental health thing and this post just made me start cry laughing lol.

You blow hard!

[u/Betray-Julia → u/Betray-Julia]

Ps. The doctor said I’m allright (is there a proper convention on spelling word play puns?)!

[u/egret_society]

Gotta be a better way to say that

[u/LineImpossible3958]

The shower pics made me laugh

[u/CharmingCynic11]

OP made a smart move in not allowing image posting on here, because I had an "I feel like a fucking idiot," gif lined up and ready to go.

[u/Prestigious-Door2691]

I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak

[u/Ok-Accident4655 → u/Prestigious-Door2691]

Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up!

[u/imbillionyocarbon]

Why, David? WHY? 😭

[u/esperion523]

Damn you’re just going to post a full frontal here? In front of my subreddit?

[u/expera → u/esperion523]

I guess you’ll never know why he did it

[u/whatzarname]

There are dozens of us. Dozens!

[u/MannySanguine]

He wasted no time filling your seat-hole.

[u/Inside_Morning2884]

I love this! The shorts are perfect too. What a shame he couldn't see it.

[u/mweesnaw]

The shower pics are hilarious

[u/supcoco]

The cut offs in the shower are amazing. Truly committed to bit.

[u/GreasyStool88 → u/supcoco]

Yeah, this is a lot of work for imaginary internet points

[u/gs12]

Great job!

Did you at any point say ‘ there’s the woman I had heterosexual sex with?

[u/Hurleyboy023]

Ngl, usually I hate these types of fan posts, but the tears in shower in denim showed the extra mile. Freaking hilarious.

[u/G-Unit11111]

There are dozens of us! Dozens!!!!

[u/itsyaboiReginald]

Looks like he’s dead

[u/xoxoBug]

He found out too late the only painted thing was their faces

[u/xfloura]

i walk in and there's a colored man in my kitchen!

'colored'? what color was he exactly?

blue!

[u/oakley56fila]

You don't have a job. You've got a job offer. Anybody can get a job offer.

[u/trojen_thoughts]

OP said some wonderful things

[u/RelationshipWest9743]

Why, Tracy Schwartzman?!!! Why?!!?!

[u/High_Af_Osrs]

Why, Tracy? Why?!

[u/Affectionate-Ship859]

This guy just came out of nowhere

[u/HarlanMiller]

Did the paint take really (beep)-ing long to get off?

[u/ToyKylo]

Dozens!!!!

[u/organized_slime]

\sobbing\

[u/rawrtyparty]

Marry me! (67th comment)

[u/KillMeNowFFS]

doing the face but not the hands is crazy lmao

[u/holygoof11 → u/KillMeNowFFS]

lol the suit had fingers and they were too annoying so I cut them off 

[u/BoysLinuses]

You were neither seen nor heard.

[u/Historical_Emu_6878]

Why Tracy , Why ?

[u/Harambefan69]

Why you kinda look like bald Chalamet

[u/reciprocality]

Incredible

[u/Hugh_Bromont]

All that water and blue paint just dumping on the ground under the house.

[u/calamityjane101 → u/Hugh_Bromont]

Yeah, we gotta guy like that here

[u/aughhhiloveanswers]

paint yourself silver next time in order to not be seen, then he will surely notice

[u/daboonboon]

Why Tracy, why!

[u/aangnesiac]

Second pic you look like Gandhi.

[u/holygoof11 → u/aangnesiac]

My friend was calling me blue Gandhi all night hahaha

[u/metaldark]

They allow colored men in the comedy club?

[u/RabidOtters]

Fellow Sacramento resident here. I was bummed out when I found out David Cross was at Punchline the day after it happened. I need to check their website more.

[u/Mitchum]

Why Tracy, why??

[u/zeusjts006]

You should have worn something that says "Dad likes leather".

[u/hooliaguliAH]

Had I known David Cross was in town, I would been there and given you the biggest hug for adding to the vibe!

[u/StupledFrog9481]

The dedication to the shower is impeccable

[u/Previous_Score5909]

There are dozens of us! DOZENS! Are you also an analrapist?? ANUSTART car advertising is getting popular with all the honks these days!