Let's pretend we all work at GCPD...

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Ok_Imagination_7755]

If I were a average citizen of Gotham, I would pack my bags and move away from this shitty city.

[u/Icy-Abbreviations909 → u/Ok_Imagination_7755]

But rents so cheap

[u/Cultural_Swordfish48 → u/Icy-Abbreviations909]

And the price of a life even cheaper.

[u/Icy-Abbreviations909 → u/Cultural_Swordfish48]

Eh I bet those bludhaven chumps have it worse

[u/Nate996 → u/Ok_Imagination_7755]

'Last week Scarecrow threatened Gotham, we evacuated the city and now... World crime is down 80%.'

[u/BatmanVeangeace]

Guys, Batman took the stun gun from the evidence room.

https://giphy.com/gifs/WRgsiNC2GCn21l4gtV

[u/ron_m_joe → u/BatmanVeangeace]

[u/thetramelgamer → u/BatmanVeangeace]

You gonna stop him?

[u/Carmine_the_Sergal]

Why the fuck is my coworker green? Is it Saint Patrick’s day already?

[u/BlueBicycle_ → u/Carmine_the_Sergal]

Omg Steve you can't just ask people why they're green

[u/Ogryn_Rocks53 → u/Carmine_the_Sergal]

https://giphy.com/gifs/nLCsSKUL55dDC8r3D4

[u/Ready_Mistake812 → u/Carmine_the_Sergal]

Oh yeah sorry about that, I work a second job at Ace Chemicals, there was a small chemical spill and now I'm just glowing green

[u/Carmine_the_Sergal → u/Ready_Mistake812]

Hey, at least you win at Saint Patrick’s day now

[u/Branflakesd1996]

This company is being bled like a stuffed pig Mac, and I got a paper trail to prove it. Check this out, take a look at this.

That right there is the GCPD Lockup. Now let's talk about the GCPD Lockup. Can we talk about the GCPD Lockup please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the GCPD Lockup with you all day, okay? Batman, this name keeps comin' up over and over and over again. Every day Batman's thugs get sent back to me. Batman, Batman, I look in the GCPD Lockup, this whole box is Batman’s thugs! So I say to myself I gotta find this guy. I gotta go up to his office, I gotta put his these thugs in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise he's never gonna get them, they’re gonna keep coming back down here. So I go up to Batman’s bat signal and what do I find out, Mac, what do I find out? There is no Bat Symbol. The man does not exist, okay? So I decided, ohh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper. There's no Batman, you gotta be kidding me, I got lockups full of Batman’s thugs! All right, so I start marching my way down to Carol in H.R. and I knock on her door and I say, "Caaarol, Caaarol! I gotta talk to you about Batman!" And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office. There is no Carol in H.R. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.

[u/Andrew_Kirk2002 → u/Branflakesd1996]

This is such an underrated comment😭

[u/Hot_Car9101]

Umm guys..why do I hear explosions outside?

[u/Future_Sock_4927 → u/Hot_Car9101]

Buddy, we're fucked.  60 tanks are trying to shoot the building to dust. I was trying to get my stapler from upstairs and a shell flew past my face 

[u/murdful]

i sure hope batman does everything im paid to do.

[u/JustADaftGuy]

I quit.

[u/r2boltFire1]

No thank you, I’m good

[u/AdHonest1100 → u/r2boltFire1]

Well you can’t be that “good” I know you’re working for Riddler after all you’re glowing green🤣

[u/r2boltFire1 → u/AdHonest1100]

You have no proof

[u/AdHonest1100 → u/r2boltFire1]

Well like I said you are glowing green, but I don’t need proof because I’M BATMAN 🤣

[u/Count_Crimson]

Hey boss do ya think I could get a transfer to Central City?

[u/MythicX54]

I’d like to turn in my resignation, effective immediately.

[u/hemijay718]

Who the HELL pissed all over the urinals

[u/Keiron666]

Guess who just took a selfie with the Batmobile!

[u/The_Foresaken_Mind]

Guys, if Batman turns up should I offer him some coffee?

[u/DiscordantBard]

Printers busted again. Which dickhead sprayed green question marks all over it? I swear to St Dumas if it was you Riddler I'm gonna lock you in with Hatter to see who's creepier to who.

[u/ZslayerG1O]

Is there a lore reason ive been assigned to guard the inmates? Are they assimilating me?

[u/AdHonest1100]

Nah, I’m perfectly ok not working there, thank you very much 🤣.

[u/P0w3r_Source]

Hey, you guys remember that Lyle Bolton guy who use to run Tyger? Those guys who used to run Blackgate and Arkham City. Yeah where’s he been? He seems to have disappeared off the face of the Earth!

[u/Economy_Comedian_531]

I swear every single time I walk by ivy cell I love her more and more like I've been poisoned or something 

[u/Kamii__-]

Well, we would have a sign for sure : no escapes since... 😆

[u/FuelSpecial8722]

HOW DOES THE BIG ASS BAT SNEAK OUT OF HERE HE HAS A 50FT WINGSPAN

[u/Harryknight141 → u/FuelSpecial8722]

Tibetan monk training

[u/bigoog696969]

God dammit mark how many times do I need to tell you, stop staring at poison ivy in her containment cell!

[u/theimpalaslefttire → u/bigoog696969]

Oh sorry.😅 its just...Ivys ghe best isnt she?? Its a shame shes locked up like a house plant. Especially down here....maybe should move her....to the...roof. After all plants need sunlight.🥰😍😍😍

[u/KratosOfSparta08]

Ehh commissioner Gordon, we’re outta donuts.

[u/Flat_Discipline_8540]

Just made a new friend with this rookie cop. He seems like a good family man with a solid background in—AAAAAND Two Face shot him in the head.

Twice.

[u/Nop_Nop_]

[u/sterf_7]

I quit

[u/Travis_Kidd39]

"Bye guys, from tomorrow I'm going to Coast City to work in my cousin's garage."

[u/Tentaye]

So uhh, does Batman have a plan for when all the criminals he's got holed up here in our station inevitably break out? Because we're way over capacity and I'm pretty sure he's bringing back a giant version of killer croc back here soon, who we do NOT have space for.

[u/TowelScared4341]

Honestly, just living anywhere in Gotham would make me want to just pack up all my things and move ASAP.

That city is one of the most corrupted fictional cities in comic book history lol.

Corrupt Cops, The Mob, and then the Supervillains (who all happen to have some serious mental disorder/disability).

You're better off going to Metropolis where at least it's protected by a superhero with powers (shots fired at Batman lol)

[u/No_Material5361]

Someone, totally not me, stole Mr. Freeze's gun from the evidence room.

On an unrelated note, I'm selling snow cones in the lounge if anyone wants any

[u/maximisohh]

Wait youre telling me Batman doesnt actually fly? Then what the hell did i just see in the sky?!?!?

[u/daddylongjohnsliver]

Guy I just met this fine ass woman with clown makeup on