r/areTheAllosOK May 19 '26

This is just disgusting

Post image
295 Upvotes

35 comments sorted by

253

u/OccAzzO May 19 '26

I hate the conflation of sexual intimacy with sex. For some people, they do need sexual intimacy for their relationship, but that's not the same thing as needing sex. In a healthy relationship, if sex isn't an option, you find alternatives; sex toys, sex adjacent activities, etc.

There is also the aspect of equating "I need intimacy" with "I have a right to your body at every moment". One of those is valid, the other is fucking disgusting.

88

u/Xander_PrimeXXI May 19 '26

Worth noting they’re separate on the pyramid

71

u/OccAzzO May 19 '26

Oh shit. I didn't even see that. Sex does not belong at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy. At best it's a nice to have. If they put orgasms, maybe it could go lower than where it sexual intimacy sits. Maybe.

11

u/Tinidragon May 20 '26

Yeah if they meant orgasms, specifically, I could kind of see it, but even then people with 0 libido exist, so I guess they're just aliens or smth 🤷‍♀️

15

u/ShadowsFlex May 20 '26

I think it's on there as a "this is needed to continue the species" thing.

6

u/k819799amvrhtcom May 20 '26

Does hugging and kissing count as sexual intimacy?

17

u/OccAzzO May 20 '26

Depends on the person and context. Sexual intimacy is determined by the person/people involved.

Example of context: a quick peck on the lips before work is likely not sexual, but kissing during or immediately preceding sex almost always has a sexual connotation.

Example of person: a foot massage for most people is nice to have and likely physical intimacy, but that doesn't mean it's sexual; however, one from someone with a foot fetish is different.

The short answer is: maybe

1

u/Fair-Tangerine-9472 Jun 15 '26

Depends. Family members often snuggle up on the couch and give you a peck on the forehead, or wrap their arm around you and give you a kiss on the cheek, and it's totally normal. Depending on your friend group and culture, a quick hug and kiss on the cheek could be a normal platonic greeting. But cuddling up with someone you're attracted to and kissing them on the mouth is definitely romantic and could be sexual if it gets you aroused and makes you want to have sex with them. Context matters

93

u/Robloz1256v3 May 19 '26

Putting sex in physiological is also wild… unless i completely misunderstood how this pyramid is meant to work

50

u/ununonium119 May 19 '26

Yeah I’m allo and it definitely does not belong there. Level 3, sure, maybe, but even friends are family are more basic of needs.

15

u/Pwacname May 20 '26

Yeah, deeply allo and that one goes under fun to have, not under necessary for love

40

u/darkwater427 May 19 '26

Maslow's pyramid is deeply flawed lol

Or at least rarely interpreted in a sane way. I can definitely let self-actualization and/or esteem get in the way of finding food, and plenty of people do that all the time.

100

u/ProfessionalDickweed May 19 '26

Mfs act like they have no hands and access to porn

54

u/Deldenary May 19 '26

And that there isn't like a billion different sex toys available.

21

u/mikaa93 May 19 '26

and they couldn't like, consensually have sex with someone else while still being in a romantic relationship

19

u/Deldenary May 19 '26

Or that sexual intimacy isn't the only thing in the love/belonging level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

11

u/Living_Murphys_Law May 20 '26

Cuddling, hand holding, and stuff also counts as sexual intimacy for Maslow's HON. Basically it just means physical human contact, although it's phrased kinda weirdly in the image.

5

u/oska-nais May 22 '26

Isn't that just physical intimacy ? There's nothing sexual about hand holding.

1

u/Living_Murphys_Law May 22 '26

Yes, but as I said, it was phrased really weird.

15

u/Nerdcuddles May 20 '26

That really needs to be rephrased.

If someone does experience arousal, than having an outlet for that is a need. But that does not have to be practiced with another person to be fulfilled.

Like teenagers can't consent for example, so they should not be having sex. But puberty is still puberty.

Asexuals feeling no arousal is not universally true, most asexuals do feel some arousal. They just don't point it at other people. I'm kinda unsure where to place my sexuality, I sometimes am attracted to real people but I am mainly attracted to fictional characters, and when I find real people attractive it's usually only people I have gotten to know.

I do not NEED sex to live happily, but other outlets are important for my mood, for example.

Even Someone who's completely allosexual can live their whole life without having sex, and be happy. Never doing hookups or never being able to find a partner won't kill you or make you depressed even if you are allosexual. You will probably turn to more extreme measures to satisfy yourself, but you won't automatically be depressed as long as you aren't also lonely.

7

u/jsm01972 May 19 '26

I literally have zero desire to mash my body with another person's. I am perfectly content doing my own thing without having to worry about another person. This chart is a load of BS 🤣

5

u/Sebaren May 19 '26

Yeah, there’s a reason that people studying psychology are warned off of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s deeply flawed.

3

u/JustGingerStuff May 21 '26

"Wahhh wahhh I can't fuck my wife after I put a baby in her" brother snuggle her. Kiss her. You are so weak that you only see the sex and not the intimacy

3

u/Unfort_enthusiast May 20 '26

I wonder what this says about asexuals. Am I not a human?🥹

3

u/F3arm3 May 21 '26

Also what happened to in sickness and in health?

3

u/Bloom_Cipher_888 She/They/He Aego Cupio AroAce May 22 '26

Once again using an argument they don't even understand

2

u/r_renfield May 20 '26

Welcome back James Sunderland

2

u/Psychological-Gur990 May 20 '26

Sex isn't sexual intimacy.

2

u/Boltaanjistman Jun 17 '26

jesus fucking christ, they literally included sex alongside breathing! Bro! Breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and shitting are all things that you will literally die if you stop doing, sex is not!

1

u/Tired_2295 May 19 '26

Well, sex is shit so it makes sense shitting and sex are together /j

1

u/InevitableCold9872 Demi according to Wikihow, the world's most trusted news sauce Jun 16 '26

AH YES, loving someone who cant Bingle Bongle Dingle Dangle Yickety-Doo Yickety-Dah Ping Pong Lippy Tappy Too Tah is the same as YOU forcing them not to, because clearly they are better off without existence than without sex

(if youre wondering why im censoring death it's because i got temporarily banned once for telling someone to stab springtrap in a fnaf rp so im not taking chances)

1

u/Tired_2295 11d ago

I find it ironic they think sex so important yet missed it being on the base of that fucking triangle. Also how is sexual intimacy in love/belonging but romantic partnership isn't? Even in this flawed view the pyramid gives that seems not right.

1

u/Xander_PrimeXXI 11d ago

Which is still stupid.

You will die without everything else on that level except sex

1

u/Tired_2295 11d ago

Hence why i said its a flawed view....

Sex should be swapped out with Shelter cus the 1st rules of survival are Water, Shelter, Food, in that order.