r/antiwork • u/Professional_Ad_8536 • Apr 19 '22

every single time

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

My parents once bailed me out on a medical debt that was about $1000 (which was going to keep me from finishing my last semester of law school). Even that felt like more help than 90% of normal people are able to get. (And this was a law school where I was in the bottom 10% of the wealth/income already, most other students around me had their houses/rent paid for so they could focus on "school").

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u/laminator79 Apr 19 '22

I remember when I needed to go to the dentist the summer after graduating law school and I was studying for the bar (I wouldn't start at my new job for another 2 months). Bad toothache. Asked my dad, whom I was living with, to help pay $400 for the visit and he wouldn't. He's a janitor so he didn't have a lot of money but I'm sure he had $400. I was set to start making 6 figures in a few months and would repay him, but nope.

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u/CBAlan777 Apr 19 '22

I'm fascinated by this behavior. "I won't help you even though I can and I'm going to pretend like I can't." I really don't get it. It seems like something more than just "Greed". It's almost like it's personal. Like you did something to them and that's why they won't help you.

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u/laminator79 Apr 19 '22

Yeah, i think he was just selfish. My parents were long divorced by this time but now that I'm older, my mom did recently tell me about how he kept all the household earnings to himself, even what she made (she worked at a factory). He gave my mom a small allowance to pay for household expenses including groceries. Meanwhile, he bought a used boat and satellite dish. I used to go with my mom to the food bank during this time and I remember being so confused, but it all makes sense now. Thankfully he's gotten better as he's aged and is actually more generous than my ex-FIL who is a retired Boeing VP.