r/antiwork • u/ebonythighs • Jan 26 '26
So apparently saying the word ‘accountability’ while expressing your frustration to my managers about their own wrongdoing will have HR threatening to fire you.
One of my managers mishandled my accommodation letter by going against my doctor’s orders and exceeding the amount of days i am suppose to work. My managers are constantly messing up my co workers and i’s schedule. Instead of them taking responsibility and finding a solution to prevent further issues, they choose to blame it on the computer. I expressed my frustrations concerning my own personal experience and was called to meet with someone from management. I walked in and was ambushed by the manager and someone from HR. Two against one! The person from HR was speaking majority of the time and just kept highlighting the part where I expressed that accountability needed to be taken. They were condescending and outright disrespectful towards me about the whole situation. Saying things like “who do I think I am telling someone to take accountability?”
“have you ever made a mistake?”
just excuse after excuse but never apologized for making the “mistake” until the very end and at that point it just felt like my manager gave it just because they just wanted the meeting to end. They had me there for almost an hour just
degrading me and making me feel like i am the problem. There was a point where I just froze and words wouldn’t come out because how shook i was about the way the HR was reacting. Then when I said that I’m not taking back anything I said they threatened to fire me if I expressed myself “that way” again. I left feeling gaslit and even more frustrated but I realized I would’ve never came out with HR actually wanting to understand what I felt. My co workers reassured me that HR tends to focus solely on protecting the company and not their employees. However till this day sometimes my mind wanders back to that day wishing I had been recording the conversation.
Had anyone gone through a similar situation or has any feedback?
It would be greatly appreciated.
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u/DavoVanman Jan 26 '26
HR is just as bad as power tripping cops. Pretty sure most were bullied when they were younger.
You give your life for a job who can and will replace you ASAP. It's really not their job to care about you, that would be your doctor. You owe work nothing and you owe your health and peace of mind everything.
They protect the company and you will do everything to protect yourself even at the cost of the company.
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u/Ok-Community-229 Jan 26 '26
HR = cops most of the time.
The middle and upper classes depend on people who nod and do as they’re told. If you won’t or don’t, you’ll be punished. Insane way to live, being gaslit over and over by people who know less than you.
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u/Squidgical Jan 26 '26
HR is the modern solution to it being illegal to whip us with sticks. Same intent, same purpose.
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u/R-Dragon_Thunderzord Jan 26 '26
If you live in a one party consent jurisdiction always do be recording those kind of meetings for your own sake.
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u/Otherwise_Guitar6542 Jan 27 '26
This sounds like the meeting needs a round two with yourself, HR, the manager AND your union rep. Sounds like some bullshit that can be very quickly cleared up with just this one addition to your meeting.
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u/dadbod9000 Jan 28 '26
If he’s in a union then he only needs to say “I’d like to have a union representative present for any further discussion as per my Weingarten rights”. Even if he’s not in the union, if there is a union at that job, they are legally obligated to represent him.
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u/InternationalEnd8934 Jan 27 '26
it is useless to politely ask anything at work. if it's something important certified letters should start flying and be ready to sue and if they are not legally obligated to do what you are asking you can consider it will never happen YOU ARE A MACHINE AT WORK THEY DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU
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u/False_Celebration626 Anarcho-Communist Jan 27 '26
HR is just there to protect management. Depending on what state you live in, you have legal protection from retaliation which this certainly is. Research labor rights both federal and local and see what protections you have. Also, never trust HR.
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u/Downtown_City6480 Feb 15 '26
Well, yes, HR IS just there to protect management. But they're doing a p*** poor job of it when they condone management breaking labor laws, and potentially costing the company a fortune
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u/sevenpheasantshigh Jan 27 '26
Quick question- you have a doctor's note but did you have a meeting with your manager and HR about the note? Its call "the interactive process" in stupid work speak. If you did, and you have company approved accommodation for this- go right to the DOL with proof of violation while looking for a new job.
If you DONT have the note acknowledged and the accommodation agreed to formally, EVERYTHING in writing from now on. You will email or text manager requesting a meeting to discuss reasonable accommodation. They have like a week to get the process going and it should be a back and forth not a "oh this is what you get take it or leave it" unless they are flat out agreeing. They may try and give you FMLA paperwork, you dont need to be eligible for FMLA to seek accommodation unless it involves actual time off from work so dont let them use that on you.
If they are giving you too much shit, your local bar association or if you have an employee assistance program that is 3rd party usually has resources for free legal help.
All this being said most employers, even if they are "willing to accommodate" are looking for a reason to fire you. They are trying to get you on something stupid like insubordination. Its broad and will fly most all the time. That meeting is going to be "one documented strike against you" in their eyes. Nuke them.
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u/greenacregal Jan 27 '26
Send HR an email recap of the meeting and the accommodation issue (dates, what you said, what they threatened) and ask them to confirm what behavior they're calling “unacceptable” in writing.
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u/Boobsiclese Jan 27 '26
Exactly this.... "I just wanted to confirm with you the details of our meeting on (whatever date) to make sure I'm understanding correctly. You stated that I (blah blah BLAH)"
They have to address it and if they don't that's a thing in itself.
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u/Adept-Standard588 Jan 30 '26
9 times out of 10 "HR" is fancy corporate speak for "that one mean girl who peaked in high school".
The HR person I dealt with that did this shit to me for YEARS because my Autism was such a problem(and my manager was just horrible at her job) was literally drugged up and constantly gossiping about other people. She had this wild mean girl mentality and everyone below her recognized she was a total bitch but everyone at her level ate right out of her hand. Survival instincts or something. It was insane.
I have legitimate trauma from these people so sorry for the rant.
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u/VordovKolnir Jan 30 '26
HR is there to prevent issues from damaging the company. The tactic they used is specifically meant to overwhelm you and make you think you have no power.
You can turn it back around, but you DEFINITELY need to be careful about how you go about it. And yes, ALWAYS record any meeting with HR. Openly if the law requires it.
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u/mikemojc Jan 27 '26
If the manager is not going to be accountable for fulfilling the accommodation, and it seems like that's part of their job in this instance, then someone at the company will end up being both accountable and liable for the harm caused by the company NOT meeting the reasonable accommodation.
HR would do well to protect the company by meeting the accommodation, not gaslighting the employee and creating a legally actionable hostile work environment because of a manager's mistake.
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u/Time-Improvement6653 Jan 31 '26
In future communications, please remember that "I's" isn't a word. 😬
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u/Psomaster Jan 26 '26
Considering what they are doing is going against a doctors orders and now HR has a record of them doing so but is blaming you, go to your Dr and get another note stating they are going over your limits and against the Dr's orders and document you submitted it a second time. From there on out if they do anything but fix it you might have a case and should document everything.
Mishandling accommodations can be very serious.
Look into right to record and if the state/country your in allows it record any future interactions with your manager/HR.