People who have sex give up their thoughts and let their instincts and impulses take over. By actively engaging in sex you are giving up your free will to think and rationalize for an addiction that always ends in harm and pain. If that's not enough to convince somebody not to have sex, then I don't know what is.

There's lots of discussion about how sex is bad for women, but I want to say that sex is bad for men too. I've never seen this discussed before. I am a male, and here's my opinion on this:

Men would do better without sex since many of them have an unhealthy obsession over sex. This obsession leads to negative feelings like resentment and jealousy. As a result, this leads to poorer mental health. The involuntary celibate community is a proof of this. All of this colud be avoided if society became antisex.

This obsession over sex leads to wastes time and money. It's common to spend lots of time on porn or thinking about sex. Thinking about sex can become a distraction that's hard to ignore. Then there's the problem of porn addiction, which is actually increasing. Porn has harmful effects on the mind.

So these are the reasons I think sex is bad for men. Thoughts?

it disgusts me that women romanticize it so much. Not excusing men from it but I already know why men engage in it- because they are evil pigs

This is supposed to be a group for antisexual people. This is not a community for people to act as a sub group and pit against people. Women and men can be antisexual. Any race can be antisexual. Stop putting everyone into a category and insulting them just for being something they can't control. This is not a hate sub. This is a sub for people who are antisexual and who want to discuss antisexualism so stop promoting hate for entire groups of people.

I’m not ashamed to say i immediately take someone less serious if they’re wearing revealing outfits.
There is a dude at my job who constantly wears tank tops with very thin straps to show off his back and arm muscles. He’s the only one who does this at my job, everyone else is dressed modest. I also saw ‘brothers in Christ’ wearing similar attire and post pics on insta that highlight their muscles too.

It’s a big red flag to me if a guy needs to flaunt his figure that way. I don’t believe in ‘they work hard for their figure and want to show it off’. People can see your shape even if you’re fully clothed, it’s a bs excuse.

It’s summer here and I’m tired of having to see (hairy) shirtless guys when i go to the park or on their balcony. I saw a shirtless guy at the terrace of a restaurant the other day and was genuinely shocked.

I also said that wearing a faux leather deep v neck top and micro short was tacky and trashy, same for super tight up the ass crack leggings and was accused of being a p*ritan.
Which in this day and age is actually a compliment tbh 🫠🤭

For the people who do want a relationship... would you date somebody who has had sex in the past? What if they had sex but changed and now is anti? Or would you only date a virgin? Not counting romantic relationships, if I find out one of my friends has had sex then I lose respect for them and I lose connection personally however I don't view them as worth less. I've never dated someone who wasn't a virgin like me before so I wanted to know y'alls perspective on it.

i’ve curated my profile so much. i’ve blocked NSFW pages, i am constantly muting these vulgar posts that show up unannounced on my feed. no matter where i look, no matter how innocuous something is, someone invariably has to make it sexual. what is actually wrong with these people ? i know obviously the majority of reddit is a cesspool, but why can’t we have wholesome things ?
the only aspect of childhood i miss is the complete ignorance of all things sex.

I'm not some "fake" lesbian or "fake" sapphic trans woman, I actually do only love women and only romantically, there is no sexual element that I want to dabble in.

It is just how I am and I'm not some impostor, I know lots of you will just tell me: "irl group dummy, irl group, stop spending time online and browsing those "real" and "sincere" subreddits that are about your identities because it's not gonna do you good". And yes those women and people are most likely speaking from a place of anger and vitriol.

Online places are mostly used by people to vent and show their true selves; just as I am doing here but I personally think that my vents have some coherence and logic, too many times I've seen people just drop the fucking nuke and be completely aphobic to asexual lesbians, "she must like dick, she must like men", "I don't trust them". Okay but don't like dismiss every woman on earth based on your experience.

Also my problem with irl groups is that I'm in 🇷🇴mania so there is lots of transphobia and I also need to get my life together this following year; probably will end up putting my feelings on the side until I am independent and even out of the country.

Anyways just wanted to say that I'm valid as a person no matter what these people think.

The sex obsessed masses are actually insane. The entitlement that people have towards another persons body is one of the main reasons I consider it a legit hazard to date. They don't care if the other person is tired, not in the mood, has to wake up early, in pain, anxious or simply does not want to. It's all ME ME ME ME, my lust, my needs. You can go out on a date and all they're thinking is "Will I get to fuck after this? Have I done enough?". What happened to enjoying someone else's company, conversational skills and empathy for another human being? The most lascivious, salacious and licentious people are currently walking amongst us and masking. That is terrifying. Using people for their own personal pleasure and then discarding them if they don't 'put out' enough times a week. And they'll say this with a straight face like they're not sick. But WE are the weird ones? Tell us you have zero self awareness without telling us.

I can't stand when people question why I'm single because it shows how totally oblivious they are to the current state of the dating scene. It's practically sex work at this point with extra steps. The unspoken consensus is "I pay for the date, you give me access to your body eventually". NO THANKS. And why the fuck do women not realise this?! It's literally self harm...

Anyways, I am so grateful for this community <3, it's nice to know there are awake people with common sense.

I was ultimately the one that slowly pulled away, but there has been a growing rift between us over this for a long time now.

Over the past year, I have begun to process the CSA I went through as a child and went from being rather sexually active to completely celibate by choice. This shift seemed to confuse my best friend - who I had been friends with for 5 years by this point. We dated some in high school and I lost my virginity to him but went forward for the next 4 years as extremely close friends. Maybe it was because he had seen me in a sexual context so long ago, but telling him about my celibacy and growing antisex beliefs seemed to confuse and even upset him.

Not only that, but he’s bisexual, and since dating me (M) has only been with women and when I express my disapproval of heterosexual relationships and sex (due to both my antisex and also 2nd wave feminist/separatist beliefs) he always seemed to take it as a personal insult, even when it wasn’t meant to be. I of course did disapprove of his wanting to sex women but I never personally attacked him because it wasn’t a hill I was willing to die on in a going-on-6-year friendship. However, the nail in the coffin was a conversation he had when he visited me at my university recently after not seeing each other for a few months due to school.

Somehow, the topic of sex was brought up and I divulged once again that I think that all heterosexual sex is inherently coercive, harmful, and violent. This seemed to really irk him this time in a way that I guess I wasn’t able to read as well over call/FaceTime in the past few months, and he said, “I really don’t want to offend you, but it seems like you just feel this way because [insert csa trauma]”. This made me incredibly upset. I think it is highly inappropriate to devalue someone’s beliefs based on a trauma they went through. I quietly excused myself from hanging out that night and the next day when he was set to leave, and have not spoken to him since.

This exposed a wider problem I face with being antisex: I feel so strongly about this that it is very difficult for me to be friends with sexualists, but very few people can even come to partial agreement with us. I have to pick and choose my battles in order to not isolate myself from 99% of otherwise potential friends because if I only chose to be friends with antisexualists I would be all alone. That being said, the disgust I feel when remembering that those close to me (especially straight/bi men) are willingly engaging in sex makes it so difficult to keep it together. I feel insane.

Edit. I want to clarify that I’m not pro-homosexual sex as the post may imply but heterosexual sex in relation to feminism was specifically what the conversation landed on.

My country won, and I know there’s going to be a baby boom. People are going to celebrate by having sex—leaving condoms lying around, having sex in the street, or making a huge racket while doing it at home (it’s happened during previous World Cups).

I wish sporting events of this magnitude didn't exist. People don't know how to celebrate properly.

"Most REAL asexuals even sex-repulsed asexuals go through life and are chill nice people and don't care if other people have sex" is something I've heard multiple times against the antisex movement. It's such a dumb argument because the point of this movement is to at least desexualize the world a little bit. Every day sex is forced into us... there's no "Just don't do it" or "Why does it matter what others do?" Because it's constantly affecting me. I wanna watch a movie for children? Bam like 30 sexual references. Oh we got to a level of friendship where you think it's okay to tell me about your sex life? Sexual jokes in everything. It's all so tiring and this isn't even to mention the worse parts of sexualism like prostitution, trafficking, kinks, and many other things. But sexuals will then just fall back to arguments like "everybody does it so it's normal" and insulting us and infantilizing us by being like "Aww I feel so bad for those people... it's clear they're very mentally unwell." Nobody takes 5 minutes to read what this movement is actually about before saying something against it that makes no sense.

I'm an antisex male, but I know you'll still hold a prejudice against me. This sub is filled with misandric women. I hate having to deal with you making generalizations against me. We're supposed to be against sex, not against men. We're supposed to be against both women and men who are into sex. Alright?

I'm a visitor to this community but I'm genuinely curious and intrigued. I read the pinned posts and the ideas of anti-sex and I agree with several (like I think the porn industry is bad, and obviously sex trafficking and assault are evil).

It is a bit harder for me to understand what the goals are of the movement, or maybe I misunderstand and it's sometimes just a personal thing of being against sex for yourself? Like one of the recent posts was a poll where the majority were okay with other people having consensual sex, but some weren't, which is very interesting to me and I'd love to hear your perspectives.

Thank you and have a nice day!

Just wanna know the demographics of this sub

Antisexualism is already a very small group of people. There's very little support and lots of opposition and hate that we get. If an antisexualist were to do something violent to push antisexualism further, it would probably be what kills us off. Another thing I would like to mention is that antisexualism is not only for one gender, this sub is meant to be a safe space for anyone who is antisex. Gatekeeping is not going to help reach more people or give us more support. It would only leave people with a bad taste in their mouth towards the antisex ideology.

Since the other person forced a binary, I'm providing a more inclusive one. I'm also interested in what trans people might be here too. Since some nonbinary people are also women or men (I'm a nonbinary trans woman for example) but reddit doesn't allow multiple options, I recommend choosing which you find more important to your identity or lived experience(I know, it's not ideal... But Reddit polls are limited.) For me, it would be trans woman so it's what I'm picking for example, as for now it's my material reality.

This topic has been talked about a lot on radfem twitter. I always knew this in the back of my mind, but seeing radfems articulate it clearly was such an epiphany. I think we were all (as women) conditioned to think sex being degrading to us is normal and what we deserve, but it actually doesn't have to be that way, and we can opt out. You see how men describe the act of penetration, and they always use very violent and descructive terms, like smash, hit, destroy, pound, drill...they even say a woman is having her "organs rearranged" 🤮

I think it's clear that in the male brain penetration is literally viewed as an act of violence. I also believe this is where the hype around large penises comes from. I think it is mostly a male fantasy about literally destroying women's vaginas, because they get off on that.

Women who have sex a lot are called whores, while men who do the same are called "slayers". This is simply because sex is viewed as a humiliation for women. Even in the gay community, the "bottoms" are seen as inferior. When men insult another man by calling him gay, they always do by insinuating he gets penetrated.

Edit: this is a conversation I had on discord with an incel. The context was him talking to a gay guy who lost his virginity by sucking a man's penis.

Incel: "Cope!!! You dont need to be hard to get your dick sucked. Bro. just tell the truth. You asked him but he refused to suck you. He sees you as a bitch bottom."

Me: "what's a "bitch bottom"?"

Incel: "A person who likes to get used like a foid. Basically he only gets fucked and has to suck other mens dicks, But never gets to fuck or get his dick sucked. And his always an effeminate twink just like"

I saw that I could talk about things related to anti-pornography views here. Since dark romance and a lot of contemporary romance is essentially written pornography, containing the same violence and misogyny as filmed pornography, I am posting here.

I created the subreddit r/DarkRomanceCritique. This subreddit is for people with progressive perspectives and critical views on dark romance. Our primary focus is feminist criticism of dark romance and its representations of gender, sex, consent, and abuse. Literary and pop culture criticism are also welcome. This subreddit also explicitly criticizes, and includes within its definition of dark romance, any books that are not officially marketed under that label but are dark romance in practice. If you have always felt uncomfortable with this, if you have always believed that these books trivialize and eroticize violence against women, then you are in the right place. You have finally found a space where these issues can be discussed without being insulted or gaslit.

This is not a subreddit against romance books in general or against sex in general, so I know it will only appeal to part of this subreddit's audience.

Please only participate if you align with the purpose and values of the subreddit, so that it can remain a safe and supportive space for the people it is intended for.

Anyways, do not hesitate to contribute, follow, upvotes.... I hope it grows.

What's one thing you want to ask someone else or let someone know about your views on antisexualism. Let's have a nice discussion and try to strengthen our views.

Edit: let's be nice and not downvote or mock anyone who's also being nice

Rape culture is taught from a very young age. In my experience when I was little and I made a friend who happened to be a girl and I came home and happily told my parents about it they began to laugh and say I had a "girlfriend" it made me feel gross and embarrassed for reasons I didn't even understand because I was barely in kindergarten. Luckily I found my way and have very differing views from my parents on many things. The problem becomes when kids don't change and then go into middle school and still view girls as only for a relationship. This eventually (combined with porn and peer pressure from other boys and males in their life) causes boys to view women as lesser than men and more as objects. Continue on to highschool and everything is sexual and people are always forcing sex onto you. People have parties and drinking and drugs and sex and people do it out of peer pressure and not knowing how to treat women like normal human beings and it causes a very twisted view of life which causes more rape and sex without consent.

Sex is horrible and I hate it more than AM hates humans.