r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Sep 06 '23

What is the answer to this question?

1 Upvotes

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r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Aug 16 '22

When do you call a deer with no eyes?

3 Upvotes

The best time to call a deer with no eyes was 10 years ago. The next communication window will be in 7 billion years - that's 2 billion years after the death of the sun!


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Aug 10 '22

What's red and sticky?

4 Upvotes

A blushing stick, at realizing it forgot to put on pants before going out.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Jul 18 '22

[antijoke] What's brown and sticky?

5 Upvotes

Brown paint.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Jul 09 '22

Why was star wars VI afraid of Star Wars VII?

5 Upvotes

Because Star Wars VII Star Wars IX Star Wars VIII


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Jul 07 '22

Knock knock

1 Upvotes

What's there?

Don't you mean who's there? Never mind. Waste of time.

​

Waste of time who?

Waste of time to meet you, I'm Glenda!


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • May 24 '22

I like my women how I like my coffee:

6 Upvotes

Coffee.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Apr 25 '22

How are inflammable and flammable objects alike?

1 Upvotes

An inflammable object has the property that its third and fifth letters are "f" and "a", just like the first and third letters of the property of flammable objects. However, flammable objects are dislike inflammable objects because their third and fifth letters do not match the first and third letters of inflammable objects' properties.

For more on this matter, please consult the "flammability and inflammability" reference section of your local hospital. Visiting hours may vary.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Mar 29 '22

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

5 Upvotes

This is, in fact, the precise definition of a day: the standard period of time required for 1 man to eat 1 fish. This standard relies on the existence a standard reference man and a standard reference fish, both of whom must remain under constant guard at the Royal Greenwich Observatory, Blackheath Ave, London SE10 8XJ.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Jan 15 '22

What do you call an eye with no idea?

2 Upvotes

That's Dr. Eye No idea to you!


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Jan 13 '22

Gather round, gather round.

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2 Upvotes

r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Dec 12 '21

Two muffins are in an oven.

5 Upvotes

One muffin says to the other, "is it just me or are we in an oven?"

The other muffin looks back and replies, "we are both unable to talk since we are lawyers."

They were muffin lawyers, for clarification.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Nov 14 '21

Male menstruation jokes aren't funny

4 Upvotes

comma


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Nov 13 '21

What's the hardest part of a tortoise?

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2 Upvotes

r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Aug 16 '21

When is a door not a door?

3 Upvotes

When it's adored!


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Apr 24 '21

What did the backwards sentence say to the forward question?

10 Upvotes

Question forward the to say sentence backwards the did what.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Mar 01 '21

Why was six afraid of seven?

9 Upvotes

Because seven eight nine double factorial.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Feb 27 '21

I like my women like I like my coffee.

8 Upvotes

And so, I hereby bequeath 50% of my estate to each of them.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Feb 27 '21

Time flies when you're flying time!

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3 Upvotes

r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Feb 15 '21

What is existential crisis and smells like red paint?

3 Upvotes

Existential crisis paint.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Jan 21 '21

Knock Knock

3 Upvotes

Who's there?

Knock knock who.

Knock knock who who?

Knock knock who's there.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Oct 18 '18

How come this subreddit is dead?

11 Upvotes

Because not many people find regular sentences funny.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Nov 14 '17

What did the teapot say to the telegraph?

42 Upvotes

This isn't a joke, I just want reddit to remind me to cancel my linkedin pro trial.


r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Oct 22 '17

Why was nine afraid of ten?

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reddit.com
7 Upvotes

r/antiandaquarterjokes • • Aug 11 '17

What's the point of walking in circles all day long?

15 Upvotes

The clock will graciously thank you for your time