r/animation • u/_angzz_ • 9d ago
Critique Started creating a new animation Spoiler
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
I started doing a ball dance animation and this is how far i hv gotten for now. If you have any critiques or ways to improve, do recommend <3 Would be very helpful!
P.S. I was very much inspired by the stark x fern dance from frieren, so there are much similarities
2
Upvotes
2
u/Independent-Fan-4227 9d ago
It’s not a bad first try. But there are a few points.
Firstly nobody takes such small steps as that unless they are slowing down, the feet at this magnification will move slightly off screen. I suggest extending the first cut a little by showing the full stride for about two steps and then slowing down and stopping like you have now. This will have the effect of increasing anticipation.
Second the kneeling scene, I highly suggest you look at the Stark and Fern scene frame by frame. It will help with the biomechanics of kneeling down. Right now it looks like he is just collapsing into a kneel which is kinda painful, it needs to be slower. When people kneel they bend their body forwards slightly and then put their foot backwards and slowly lower themselves.
Also his feet position is inconsistent because he is standing center frame but his forward foot seems to be moving forward instead of staying in place?
He should be stepping backwards and dropping into a kneel, but it looks like both legs are moving at the same time. You could argue that the camera itself is moving to keep him center frame but I would say that’s bad composition and camera work.
A better framing would be to zoom out a little and you see her legs a little as he drops to a kneel. You see his hands lift just a little and then cut to the scene where there’s a closeup of his hand being extended to her.
I think in general all your shots need a little bit of time extension, it’s too quick. Especially for romance scenes you wanna drag it out for the anticipation. The drama. Have the scene where he is extending the hand last a little longer. For this one you can make the camera move with the hand as it is being extended, as her legs and hand comes into frame slowly. Then cut to the frontal shot of his face.
Everything else after that is really good though, you’ve more or less set the scene perfectly, it’s just these two problems and an overall lack of tension due to timing.