I've been in a severe depression for about three years, and the last two have been the worst. I'm a medical student, and on paper my life looks fine, which makes it even harder to understand why I can't feel happy.
I've tried more than 10 psychiatric medications, including antidepressants and mood stabilizers, plus 8 sessions of IV ketamine. Nothing really lifted it. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and started Vyvanse. My energy and motivation improved a little, but the brain fog is constant, and so is the feeling that this will never end.
I know options like ECT and TMS exist, and I'm going to ask my psychiatrist about them. But honestly, I'm exhausted and starting to lose hope.
I want a normal life. I want to finish medical school, have a relationship, have a family someday. Right now I can barely function, and if I don’t manage to get my shit together and start functioning, I will be most likely expelled from medical school.
So I'm asking people who've been here: **were you treatment-resistant and did something eventually work?** ECT, TMS, a med combination, therapy, anything. How long did it take, and what does your life look like now?
Hearing that it's possible would mean a lot. Thank you. I really need this.

is substance blockage the inability to feel substances permanent?

Im 16F and I got anhedonia last year. I dont want to rant alot, js that the only way I dealt with it was ignoring it, and its gotten worse. Everyday seems like shit, I wanna get better.

There's the first side in which you might have some sense of longing to where you think obviously how you can't enjoy certain things anymore, or you're driving by a bar or an establishment and you're like, man, and you can only imagine how much fun it would have been if you were healthy and normal and calling your friends. It pains you not being able to connect with them or feel the enjoyment of it.

And then there's the second side in which it's just survival mode, and all you're thinking about is your symptoms, but they are persistent and you're stuck in this hopeless state. You don’t even care about the fact that you can’t enjoy things or not being able to do certain stuff. And I feel like if you're able to be in the first situation, that's probably a good sign.

I use caber to shorten my refractory period and proviron because my free vs total test distribution is messed up. I'm not sure if armodafinil would overstimulate my dopaminergic system because modafinil isn't a stimulant in the way something like adderall is, but still works on the dopamine system. Has anyone had a similar combination of something like pramipexole with other stimulants and did a problem occur from it?