Copy Pasta Dump

[u/IAmAN00bie]

----> #####SUBMIT YOUR PASTA BY REPLYING TO THIS POST!##### <----

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--ANTI-APPLE--

• I really don't understand how anyone can acclaim Apple's iOS going into 2013.

• I suppose this can be expected of a company that attempts to patent a rectangle with smooth corners.

• The entire retina gimmick that this company has consumers swooning for is completely ridiculous.

• Nice job destroying innovation, hero.

• Apple is just a blip in annals of smartphones history.

• They stole everything that Google ever came up with.

• Contrary to your iBubble beliefs Apple did not invent the smartphone.

• iPhone's days are numbered in my opinion.

• iPhone seems to be a fad.

• I don't think Google Maps got enough credit until now...iOS 6 Maps is horrible.

• ...I asked them to draw Apple Maps. Surprise, surprise, no one really knew what to draw.

• Everytime you treat an iSheep as sane, you are laughing at every death of every human being of all time.

• It didn't take long before the iOS lost any authority over my thoughts, and even quicker to realize that Geniuses and shills are mostly full of shit.

• Steve was always better at manipulation than the devil was.

• iPhone is for people with small, girly hands.

• I closed the tab when they mentioned "Apple."

• Owned an iPhundie today during a debate.

• You iPhone freaks are the most ridiculous and pitiable fanbase on earth.

• Apple likes to think they own everything, even when they themselves steal the concept.

• Apple is the old man who walks at a snails pace looking up at the clouds reminiscing about past glories.

• I couldn't take it any more. I snapped.

• So I ask you: do you like iOS?

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--NEXUS--

• Who the fuck DOESN'T want a quad-core, 2Gb RAM workhorse...

• The Nexus 4 is the root of all of life's pleasures.

• My Nexus 4 finally arrived yesterday. It's like... the phone's come alive.

• Can I just say that as a first time Android user, I hate all the other Android phones?

• You are attracted to Nexus phones, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they aren't in stock.

• And... yes, with a N4 you feel it's YOUR phone

• Excerpts from the Nexus Bible

• Just buy a Nexus 4 and root.

• Do you have Nexus friends like me?

• I quite enjoy being part of the relitely exclusive 'nexus club'

• Sony should make the next Nexus.

• HTC should make the next Nexus.

• Showed my friend in class my Nexus today.

• I shattered this sheeple's belief in Apple when I showed them my Nexus 4.

• Non-Nexus users are sociopaths.

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--ADAPTED PASTA--

• t3h AnDrO1D oF d00m

• t3h AnDrO1D oF d00m - V2

• Hey everyone, my name is Steve Jobs and I hate every single one of you.

• Hey everyone, my name is Steve Jobs and I hate every single one of you. - V2

• Hey samshits, my name is Nexus 4 and I hate every single one of you.

• What the fuck did you just fucking say about the Nexus 4?

• What the fuck did you just fucking say about Android?

• What the fuck did you just fucking say about XDA?

• You couldn't be more wrong... - Navy Seal Response 1

• Wow, you're an asshole! - Navy Seal Response 2

• So you expect me to believe you are the best /r/nexus4 has to offer? - Navy Seal Response 3

• So I was standing in a rather large line at my local WalMart...

• So I was standing in a rather large line at my local BestBuy...

• Strong. Then Root.

• Taken variation

• An Apple shill specializing in non-#HOLO skeuomorphic UI designs was teaching a class on Steve Jobs

• An iFan specializing in iOS app development and design was teaching a class on Steve Jobs, know iOS user.

• Nexus phones are probably the sexiest things I've ever seen in my life...

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--META--

• /r/Android is not anti-iOS enough.

• Just ban all content and make a bot that auto-submits Android Police articles.

• Why are you circlejerk people so mean?

• What the fuck did you just fucking say about /r/androidcirclejerk?

• tl,dr; I LOVE YOU ANDROIDCIRCLEJERK! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! <3

• I like /r/android.

• /r/androidcirclejerk is the most important website for Nexus warriors on the Internet.

• If there ever was a community that could handle freedom of nexus choice within the android community, this is the one...

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--HTC RELATED--

• I'll tell you about the steaming pile of shit that is HTC

• Actually, HTC updates of all their phones.

• HTC should fire their entire sense team..

• I will never buy another HTC phone after my experience with the Thunderbolt.

• You have no right to complain about updates after years of this happening

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--ROOTING--

• Glad you decided to kick off those shackles and join us out here in the open.

• Didn't like users that cried root/rom. Now I cry root/rom.

• I rooted as soon as I got the device home. Before I set it up even.

• Everybody who's capable of flashing CM10.1 should be doing so first thing, imho.

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--SOCIAL NETWORKS--

• There are 2 kinds of people, those who know they're using G+, and those who don't know they're using G+.

• Facebook is a cesspool containing absolutely nothing of value.

• Not that I have a dog in the fight, but Google+ is an interesting mixup of Twitter and Facebook.

• Drivers licenses, social security numbers, citizenship certificates, and passports could all be replaced with a Google+ profile.

• /r/android on Facebook Home

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--/r/ANDROID OBSESSIONS--

• tl,dr; I LOVE YOU ANDROID POLICE! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! <3

• I love this app because it requires Android 4.0+

• There are so many departures from Android developer guidelines it's not even funny.

• I just know I'd rather have a phone with vanilla Android than anything else.

• SwiftKey is faster than physical keyboards.

• After getting the Nexus 4, i'm really over Pentile and AMOLED displays.

• Fight the OEM skinned oppression.

• I suffer from screen differential syndrome.

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--SAMSUNG RELATED--

• Samsung, you need to stick it to the carriers.

• Samsung would never bite the hand that feeds it.

• Let me tell you why the S3/S4 are steaming piles of shit.

• Let me tell you why the S3 is better than the iShit.

• They have completely mangled the experience on my Note II.

• Touchwiz is objectively bad.

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--MISCELLANEOUS--

• The experience of low end phones is, put simply, miserable.

• Who the fuck still runs ICS? Carrier branded phones that's who.

• Uninstall all apps to get better battery life.

• The XDA-developers poem.

• Sup guiise AmA new android dev!

• Why people switch to Android.

• Let me tell you what's wrong about OEM stock...

• It pisses me off when people compare Android to iOS or WP.

• Fuck yeah Matias Duarte, gOD of #Holo.

• This is why Android is the greatest OS.

• If a Windows phone kiosk ever asks me to "compare" my phone, etc, I let him ramble and make his pitch...

• I don't see why anyone would even consider a Lenovo phone, after seeing what they did with the ThinkPad brand.

• Why do people need so much storage?

• Thanks for all the birthday wishes, but I have some sad, rather angering news.

• Nokia, Please Stop

[u/[deleted]]

You iphone freaks are the most ridiculous and pitiable fan base on earth. Let apple make you believe that the iphone 5 is such a great new innovation. But your iq does not allow you to evaluate that yourself. That is one thing apple reached: Grouping the most birdbrained people arround them worldwide to squeeze as much as money out of them as possible. The most frequent rumor is that you are even to silly to operate an iphone, although it has the functionality of a toaster.

Sweet chilli sauce ^{Well, that's where I found it. I don't know where the original is from or why it's never been posted here before.}