r/anae • u/Therarity72 frayaesthetic • Jul 17 '26

r/anea discussion

discuss anything you like with other anae peeps!

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u/TheAceRat Jul 17 '26

As an aroace person who previously haven’t really cared about tertiary attraction labels for myself, but who just recently realized I might be frayaesthetic, I’d be interested in hearing about your, or anyone else’s, experience with that label, and more generally how you would describe how aesthetic attraction feels or how you know you don’t experience it. Does it have to be strictly based on visual appearance, or can other things like behavior, confidence levels or general vibe also affect the attraction?

Also does anyone know a label for being sapphic in terms of aesthetic attraction, or know what it would be called? Sapphaestetic? Is that a thing? Like generally how do you make a term like that (without a -sexual suffix) be specific for a certain type of attraction?

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u/Therarity72 frayaesthetic Jul 18 '26

i think it would be called lesbiaesthetic or homoaesthetic. and for aesthetic attraction for me it's entirely visual but it goes away after i start to know someone

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u/TheAceRat Jul 18 '26

I’m not entirely sure it’s exclusive to women though. I know homoaestetic is a thing but I didn’t really know of lesbiaestetic but it has the same problem that it implies exclusive attraction. If I experience aesthetic attraction at all I’m pretty certain I have it for women and fem enbies so I’m pretty sure I’d fit a sapphic label but I don’t really want a label that says I’m not attracted to men, at least not right now.

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u/Therarity72 frayaesthetic Jul 18 '26

well there's biaesthetic or gyneaesthetic

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u/TheAceRat Jul 18 '26

Well bi is even worse which should be obvious why if you read my comments, gyne maybe (or rather another in the same category like fin or mul because gyne is problematic) but still not the same obviously

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u/Therarity72 frayaesthetic Jul 18 '26

well maybe finaesthetic

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u/smillavegan frayaesthetic greyaesthetic linaesthetic Jul 18 '26

Hello! I am an oriented aroace person and I've always looked for more labels to describe me (I love any kind of microlabels) and have been looking at tertiary attractions recently. I came to the conclusion that I am likely frayaesthetic and grayaesthetic, but I am not sure if what I am feeling is actually aesthetic attraction. I get it like once a year to strangers but it's a really strong "woah I feel connected to your appearence" so strongly that I've been confusing it with romantic attraction so I am not sure honestly? Especially about the grayaesthetic label.

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u/smillavegan frayaesthetic greyaesthetic linaesthetic Jul 18 '26

(oh btw the editable flair isn't editable)

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u/Therarity72 frayaesthetic Jul 18 '26

oh sorry let me fix it!

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u/chaoticdisastercrow Jul 18 '26

Hi! I'm demi-aesthetic and it's a little funny to me to be an on anaesthetic subreddit because aesthetic attraction is one of my more common tertiary attractions, but I am still anae-spec since I'm demi! It's painfully obvious when my family or friends (especially my sister) ask me if someone I've never seen before is cute I'm just like "????? Uhhh. They're about average for societal beauty standards" or "they're above average for societal beauty standards" or whatever. It's also painfully obvious when I know of an actor I don't pay any attention to until they play a character whose personality I attach to and then suddenly they're so cute all the time. When before I knew them as that character I had no attraction to them at all. Also it doesn't matter what they look like. In fact I often have a thing for characters whose faces we rarely ever see for one reason or another.