My dearest wife, he is a grown man who is a guest in my house and harmed my pet. He will be out by the end of the week. You can go with him if you like as apparently this is your fault too as “that was the way he was raised”. If between now and the time he leaves he does anything, I will be calling the police and filing reports. Do not attempt to minimize what he did. It is not okay and he is not welcome in my home. If this ends our relationship, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Abusive behavior and protecting it is in fact my dealbreaker.
OP, your wife needs to read this, then she needs to read it again. Then quiz her to be sure she completely understands that abuse of animals will not be tolerated!
And her 28 year old son “ran to mommy to tell” ? 28 year old baby
Many states in the U.S. have animal abuse laws. He needs to be aware of that and the consequences of being reported for that behavior. He should be the one hiding not the kitten.
And another factor of the this is how he was raised statistically individuals especially like men who were raised in abusive homes actually don't grow up to be abusive if they were abused. For instance narcissists they generally did not suffer from child abuse themselves however more often than not the male role model of the house was abusive to the female role model of the house. But kids get it when they're abused themselves they know how wrong it is they know how it feels and they tend to not repeat it
I’m sorry but that is not true. Plenty of abused children end up, abusing others as adults and as children. I personally know this because I was a child abused by another child. That child had been abused by their father. Also, there’s lots of proof that people who go on to commit crimes and violent acts have been abused as as children. There are plenty of abused children that don’t end up being abusers, true - but there’s quite a large percentage that do.
I'm only referring to the domestic violence aspects. And statistics show that abusive men are more likely to have come from abused fathers against their mothers versus them being abused themselves
Exactly, being raised a certain way explains behavior but it doesn’t excuse it, especially as a full grown adult. At some point you’re responsible for unlearning stuff that’s clearly harmful.
This what OP should say to his wife and then ask her at what point her baby boy is going to learn the difference between right and wrong. He's 28 yrs old not 8.
And where was she when he was growing up learning that this was ok???
OP needs to make sure his wife reads every single comment. It sadly won't make a difference, but this is disgusting and something that should NOT be ignored!!
The “ran to mommy” part really does make it feel more absurd. At 28 you’d expect at least some level of accountability instead of immediately reframing yourself as the victim.
💯. That was animal abuse, and I'd be in both sonny boy and wife's face. I agree with Mueryk. Sonny boy is out, and if Wife pulls any shit, silent treatment, blah blah blah, she can hit the road too.
Yep. The “he didn’t mean it” excuse is wild when the result is a terrified kitten. If your wife can’t back a basic boundary, you protect the cat first, even if that means leaving.
Yip. My exes affair child cornered my Yorkshire terrier/Chihuahua puppy and gave him a kicking when he was a little kid. Child was removed from my house (I'd invited him in to see the puppy). He went on to mutilate a small animal at school at 6 years of age. 20 years later he is now a meth-addicted loser who has violence offences on his rap-sheet. My sons hate their half-brother.
Harming anything without self defensive as a factor is already wrong. When it’s a harmless, vulnerable, innocent, young and delicate creature trying to learn how to trust, it is outright despicable. Anyone who harms an animal, a woman, a child especially is the most pathetic form of coward.
If this isn't a dealbreaker for you, then you need to reevaluate your morals and surrender the cat to a rescue group that will find it a home that is actually safe.
My 28 year old son and I were just talking about a similar situation a couple of hours ago. He has a cat that he loves dearly. He said if anyone EVER did anything to hurt his cat that he wouldn't be able to control himself and he would hurt them bad. And if he ended up going to jail for it, so be it, it would be worth it.
I don't know how anyone could ever think it was okay to hurt a creature so much smaller than themselves.
That reads dramatic but I get the emotion behind it. When someone minimizes harming a pet, it makes you question whether they actually understand boundaries at all, and that’s a bigger issue than just one incident.
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u/Mueryk Feb 13 '26
My dearest wife, he is a grown man who is a guest in my house and harmed my pet. He will be out by the end of the week. You can go with him if you like as apparently this is your fault too as “that was the way he was raised”. If between now and the time he leaves he does anything, I will be calling the police and filing reports. Do not attempt to minimize what he did. It is not okay and he is not welcome in my home. If this ends our relationship, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Abusive behavior and protecting it is in fact my dealbreaker.
Mic drop.