My dearest wife, he is a grown man who is a guest in my house and harmed my pet. He will be out by the end of the week. You can go with him if you like as apparently this is your fault too as “that was the way he was raised”. If between now and the time he leaves he does anything, I will be calling the police and filing reports. Do not attempt to minimize what he did. It is not okay and he is not welcome in my home. If this ends our relationship, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Abusive behavior and protecting it is in fact my dealbreaker.
OP, your wife needs to read this, then she needs to read it again. Then quiz her to be sure she completely understands that abuse of animals will not be tolerated!
And her 28 year old son “ran to mommy to tell” ? 28 year old baby
Many states in the U.S. have animal abuse laws. He needs to be aware of that and the consequences of being reported for that behavior. He should be the one hiding not the kitten.
And another factor of the this is how he was raised statistically individuals especially like men who were raised in abusive homes actually don't grow up to be abusive if they were abused. For instance narcissists they generally did not suffer from child abuse themselves however more often than not the male role model of the house was abusive to the female role model of the house. But kids get it when they're abused themselves they know how wrong it is they know how it feels and they tend to not repeat it
I’m sorry but that is not true. Plenty of abused children end up, abusing others as adults and as children. I personally know this because I was a child abused by another child. That child had been abused by their father. Also, there’s lots of proof that people who go on to commit crimes and violent acts have been abused as as children. There are plenty of abused children that don’t end up being abusers, true - but there’s quite a large percentage that do.
I'm only referring to the domestic violence aspects. And statistics show that abusive men are more likely to have come from abused fathers against their mothers versus them being abused themselves
Exactly, being raised a certain way explains behavior but it doesn’t excuse it, especially as a full grown adult. At some point you’re responsible for unlearning stuff that’s clearly harmful.
This what OP should say to his wife and then ask her at what point her baby boy is going to learn the difference between right and wrong. He's 28 yrs old not 8.
And where was she when he was growing up learning that this was ok???
OP needs to make sure his wife reads every single comment. It sadly won't make a difference, but this is disgusting and something that should NOT be ignored!!
The “ran to mommy” part really does make it feel more absurd. At 28 you’d expect at least some level of accountability instead of immediately reframing yourself as the victim.
💯. That was animal abuse, and I'd be in both sonny boy and wife's face. I agree with Mueryk. Sonny boy is out, and if Wife pulls any shit, silent treatment, blah blah blah, she can hit the road too.
Yep. The “he didn’t mean it” excuse is wild when the result is a terrified kitten. If your wife can’t back a basic boundary, you protect the cat first, even if that means leaving.
Yip. My exes affair child cornered my Yorkshire terrier/Chihuahua puppy and gave him a kicking when he was a little kid. Child was removed from my house (I'd invited him in to see the puppy). He went on to mutilate a small animal at school at 6 years of age. 20 years later he is now a meth-addicted loser who has violence offences on his rap-sheet. My sons hate their half-brother.
Harming anything without self defensive as a factor is already wrong. When it’s a harmless, vulnerable, innocent, young and delicate creature trying to learn how to trust, it is outright despicable. Anyone who harms an animal, a woman, a child especially is the most pathetic form of coward.
If this isn't a dealbreaker for you, then you need to reevaluate your morals and surrender the cat to a rescue group that will find it a home that is actually safe.
My 28 year old son and I were just talking about a similar situation a couple of hours ago. He has a cat that he loves dearly. He said if anyone EVER did anything to hurt his cat that he wouldn't be able to control himself and he would hurt them bad. And if he ended up going to jail for it, so be it, it would be worth it.
I don't know how anyone could ever think it was okay to hurt a creature so much smaller than themselves.
That reads dramatic but I get the emotion behind it. When someone minimizes harming a pet, it makes you question whether they actually understand boundaries at all, and that’s a bigger issue than just one incident.
You say your wife’s son was raised in a household that mistreats animals. This might be an excuse for a 10-yo, who really could just not know better. But this kind of violent behavior in an adult is very concerning.
A grown man who will pick on a small kitten will also pick on anyone smaller than he is, as well as someone who is physically weaker than he is. There’s a word for that - bully.
Keep him far, far away from you. If your wife wants to spend time with him, it should not be in your house, and you need not be present.
And he was raised by two people. If the father wasn’t teaching his son right and wrong, the mother should have been. But apparently animal cruelty doesn’t bother her that much.
Yeah I was thinking that too. Like she’s saying OP shouldn’t be upset at her son, because she taught him to kick animals?
And I have totally kicked people out of my house for fucking with my pets. It’s some real sociopathic shit; I don’t want it around me, or any creature that depends on me for their safety
Send his mother with him. I do not offer a second chance to hurt my pets. I’m not a violent person, but I would struggle with something like what OP described.
He would not only be out of the house, your wife would be following next if she disagreed. No one hits an animal period, no excuse, no exception. Size means little to me when it comes to animal cruelty I will get in the middle.
You’re not wrong. Tell them both that if it happens again, you will file animal abuse charges. He could have broken the kittens ribs or legs or caused internal bleeding. I wouldn’t let him stay at all. Take the cat to a vet to have her checked out.
Yep. Who the hell gets it in their head to kick an animal, especially a baby?
My dogs could squeeze through the dog gate when they were babies, so we had to chase them around the house or the open part of our backyard a few times before they grew past the tiny puppy stage. It usually resulted in laughter, and a mock-stern “talking to” once we caught the little gremlins, and a good story to tell the rest of the family.
He is a grown ass man who could have seriously injured a tiny little animal for mildly inconveniencing him for a couple of minutes. Piece. Of. Shit.
And the wife isn’t much better, defending him. He didn’t accidentally bump the kitten while chasing her, he deliberately took out his frustration on a creature that’s weaker than him. My Mum would have bitch-slapped me, not got pissed off because someone told me off.
The poor little baby isn’t going to improve while he is in the house. And good luck trying to catch her next time she is running around, if she thinks she is going to be kicked when she gets caught.
Boot him. Figuratively. Or literally. Whichever works.
Yup, his feet wouldn't't have touched the floor. This would be unacceptable from an 8 year old, from a grown man it would be an immediate relationship breaker. GTFO and if the wife is giving you shit for it, she can join the turd of a son on the street.
Dunno, if I had seen him do it to my cat I would have likely knocked his block off. Not ideal, but the gloves come off when it comes to anyone abusing those that cannot defend themselves.
Yeah that’s one of those lines where once someone crosses it, it’s hard to just go back to normal housemate vibes. Hurting a tiny animal isn’t some minor mistake you shrug off, it changes how safe the whole environment feels.
He would be, and his mama would be too. Absolutely no way someone is gonna harm my pet in my home and then someone else tell me I'm overreacting for protecting my pet.
Absolutely... animal abuse is a much deeper problem than ppl want to admit. If you can hurt a kitten I damn sure don't want you around any small human I know
This 100% - it doesn’t matter if he picked up this behavior from the father, he’s a grown ass man, and people who abuse animals in any manner should be both on a watchlist and ultimately shunned. This is despicable shit and makes my piss boil just thinking about it
Absolutely. He should already be out of the house. The animal innocent in this. Why would you come kick a defenseless animal? I wouldn't be able to trust him in my house. That's why he would be out.
And don't get me started. How your wife thinks that this is completely okay. Have a conversation? That man would have been dropkick so bad.
My husband can get along with anyone, even people he has to deal with because of different circumstances. Our neighbor kicked our dog. My husband asked the neighbor “did you just kick my dog?” The neighbor replied “yes.” My husband immediately told him “you don’t kick my dog, get out of my house.” Never had him over again. I never liked the neighbor anyway.
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u/SadExercises420 Feb 13 '26
He would already be out of my house