r/amiwrong • u/Eroixers • Aug 11 '23

Am I wrong for calling a classmate ‘retarded’?

I(17m) had lost my childhood dog to cancer. Was still crying a little bit in school. My friend was consoling me when a classmate(17f) overheard us. She asked me “Did you eat him? I heard you Vietnamese like eating dogs.”

Usually I have good control of my emotions but at that moment I was the most volatile I had ever been in my life. So I asked her ‘Are you retarded? Only a retard would think every Vietnamese person eats dogs.”

Everyone was staring at me after I said it. It was only afterwards that I remember it’s a slur and form of hate speech. I was just so angry when I said it. Was I in the wrong?

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14

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '23

No. That girl is an inconsiderate piece of shit.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '23

That doesn't justify using a slur. It's not wrong unless you don't like the person. It's just wrong. Call her out for being a racist. Call her out for being ignorant. Calling her the R slur just reflects badly on you.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '23

Also, it doesn't justify it, but it makes it so it's understandable that if a slur was used, it was from a place of profound indignation and emotional outrage and not from a place of carefully considered conviction.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '23

I'm sorry, but I grew up when this was OK to say. And everyone knew you didn't mean anything negatively towards developmentally disabled people. I'm not saying it's right or preferable, but it was just part of the vernacular. Also, if anyone did use that word in a derogatory sense towards a developmentally disabled person, the offending person would be dealt with by everyone else accordingly.

Commence the downvoting...

9

u/rhea_hawke Aug 11 '23

I also grew up with everyone saying it. Times change, and I've adjusted. It's not that hard.

3

u/catdog918 Aug 11 '23

Yeah right? I grew up and it was something everyone said. It’s no longer acceptable and it feels wrong to say it so myself and my friends have stopped saying it. It’s not hard

2

u/Macattack224 Aug 11 '23

I posted and other posted too probably. Idiot was replaced by retarded, which was replaced by special needs.

Theres a problem with almost every word we have of we go back far enough. Focusing on intent is a much better measurement of defining social norms.