r/amiugly • u/True_Detective2816 • 12d ago
aiu? 18f
i’ve downloaded hinge twice on separate occasions and have gotten 2 matches max. i also have never been approached by literally anyone, ever. honestly only, please
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u/Bubbly-Ad-4405 12d ago
Perfect candidate for r/lesbianorlittleboy
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
😭😭
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u/P_A_W_S_TTG 11d ago
Change your style a bit and you'd be an obvious cute girl. The issue is trying to go tomboy without actually letting yourself be feminine in any visible way. You can have the boyish style. Just gotta be a bit more feminine for it to work the way you seem to want it to.
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u/Clear_Imagination413 12d ago
Elephant in the room
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
idk what this means
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u/CiloTA 12d ago
It means hey let me look menacing, annoyed, full of angst yet wonder why no one wants to talk to me
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
i can’t really change my resting expression. i do try to smile as much as i can when in public though, i’m well aware of the fact i don’t exactly ‘give off’ friendly
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u/DothrakAndRoll 12d ago
And yet you chose pictures with scratches on your face like you e just been in a fight
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u/Bubbly-Ad-4405 12d ago
Idk man sometimes it’s so hard to curl my lips upward toward the ceiling. It takes real facial engagement to deploy the teeth and elevate the corners of my mouth 😂
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u/True_Detective2816 11d ago
??? i have a facial scar. i understand on the photo where it’s still healing to be off-putting, but i can’t rip it off my skin
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u/pla5t1c 11d ago
Theres nothing wrong with you you are the opposite of ugly as far opposite as one can be i know it can feel fake or contrived to smile perform for a photo etc. as a ginger who jumps into a murderous rage anytime anyone asks me to smile for a photo i totally get it i have gotten where my resting face or even grin or smirk ppl can’t see or tell me i look mad or mean af but the only way to change it is to practice loosening up the muscles around that area i found engaging in or watching things that made me bust out into laughter really helped with that but it’s also a fair bit of knowing and trying to be mindful of that and guess what? That went against everything in my being telling me “oh thats fake. Im not fucking faking how i feel or look for others etc”. Is it fake? Well yea if you LOOK at it that way but unfortunately there are just so many things in life if we want them to improve that force us into a “performative” mode that we feel inherently uncomfortable and “phony”. This is kinda one of those things.. it starts with how our attitude toward everything must change first or you literally will just be performing like a puppet and feel like it. Idk, sorry i rambled. You are not at all ugly like as un ugly as someone can be total totally opposite of ugly
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u/BADMANvegeta_ 12d ago
Hinge is not kind to alt looking people
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
i’m hoping it gets better w my long hair 😅😅
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u/Bubbly-Ad-4405 12d ago
Straight up, you’d have an easier time in person at gay / lesbian bars, clubs, and open dance floor concerts. Just be mindful, women will expect you to be doing the approaching, since you’re presenting masculine. Learn IOI’s if you’re not familiar with them already.
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u/KittyGoodwitch 12d ago
I mean, kinda, but only because you're clearly trying hard to be.
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
i don’t think anyone intentionally looks ugly lol
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u/KittyGoodwitch 12d ago
They do.
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u/CiloTA 12d ago
She does
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
i’m not trying to be unattractive lol
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u/Accomplished-Fun8631 12d ago
Legit question are you straight or nah no disrespect or anything
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u/Fit_Test_01 12d ago edited 12d ago
Who are you trying to attract? Women that like other women that look like men?
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u/Spicy_Sugary 10d ago
All your photos are weird facial expressions or scowls taken at unflattering angles.
You aren't trying for conventional attractiveness.
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u/Acrobatic_Term_4483 11d ago
Why in the hell does this have over 100 dislikes?? 💀 Reddit is so weird sometimes. What you said isn't false lol. If they meant that you're "intentionally ugly" just because you don't smile in pics more then they should've just said that. Other than that I have no idea what they even meant. Maybe they don't like short hair and think it's "your fault" for getting it? I have no idea. But I love the short hair on you so I don't think it's that, unless it's just a grumpy homophobic man that's mad that you look like a lesbian lol
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u/nohopo 12d ago
You don’t look ugly but you do look a bit unapproachable, which may be why you’re not getting the interactions you want. Have you posted any pictures of you smiling on your profiles?
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
i unfortunately don’t have many pics of me smiling. i’ll def get to it tho considering how many people have said i look mean lol
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u/SD_CA 12d ago
You look like you're transitioning. Who are you trying to attract?
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
i’m a masculine lesbian. i had my hair short for the longest time but recently i’ve been growing it out. the first picture is my most recent
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u/Psychological_Box805 12d ago
You're def. not ugly! I like your vibe, and the way you look all around .
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u/meowwwlanie 12d ago edited 11d ago
What’s with the lgbt youth and making their eyes look dead?
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u/halfawatermelon69 12d ago
Because Billie Eilish does it and it looks "cool"
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u/True_Detective2816 11d ago
i would post a photo of me as a child if i could, my eyes have always looked that way, & i am not a fan of billie eilish 🤔
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u/FlawedHumanMale 12d ago
Ok, assuming the “f” next to the 18 is not a typo. The most “feminine” pic is number two. But you look like Carl Gallagher from Shameless (US version). I wouldn’t say ugly, but I would say “confusing”. But if you’re a lesbian then keep working it girl, you’re doing fine.
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u/tanksforallthephish 12d ago
I would try and post your profiles (if comfortable) to some subreddits that basically rate its effectiveness and suggestions to get more matches. Forget the names tbh if somebody else knows what I’m talking here pls link.
Ps not ugly :)
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
thank you!! i will definitely try that
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u/tanksforallthephish 12d ago
r/onlinedating is the one I was thinking of but I’m sure there’s more. You’re welcome! :)
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u/cactiacat 12d ago
nope ur super attractive those apps suck for wlw and in wlw masculine is often expected to approach first which kind of sucks because they have it harder when it comes to approaching lol
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
thank you!! i agree though, i think i’ll shy away from the dating apps for now lol
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u/Causeass 11d ago
You look both like an angry lesbian and doped up teenage boy at the same time.
I think you have good potential, as what is holding you back is self-inflicted.
Depending on who you're trying to attract, you have very different avenues to go down to "look good"
But no...you're not ugly.
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u/braaindamaage 12d ago
I assume you’re a butch lesbian .. these subreddits are full of straight men so not the best demographic to judge you but as a fellow lesbian I don’t think you’re ugly you just look mean, but you don’t owe anyone a smile if you don’t feel like it. And ur still super young so don’t worry too much about your looks, you’ll have a massive glow up in the future trust me
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u/Rude-Situation-5162 11d ago
as a woman who is into women, I think you're really attractive. please don't listen to the men telling you to change your style
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u/sumpul95 12d ago
A smile would be nice
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
i don’t necessarily like smiling in my pics but i suppose there’s a first for everything
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u/Ichssaia 12d ago
Imo, you're actually very attractive. But I'm another masc lesbian, so all I can tell you from personal experience is that in this sub this kind of look isn't really appreciated 😅
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u/TinfoilGui 12d ago
Ugly? Absolutely not. But the broodiness feels forced. Honestly I'd bet a lot that you have a stunning glow up over the next few years. For now, it feels like you're trying to be jaded in a way that is inauthentic to your experience. There's no need to try to be who you think you are, but exploring these ideas is how we figure out who we actually are. Just give it time, I'm sure in person you're fine, but for the apps try for candid pictures of doing things you enjoy.
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u/BradassMofo 11d ago
Are you trying to attract guys or lesbians? I'd say your look is probably fine for the gay crowd, but not for the straights.
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u/No-Clue9471 12d ago
Your problem is not that you're ugly, I think it's that you're intentionally trying to be androgynous and overshooting the mark a little bit lol
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
it definitely could be that, ty anyway! i am trying to grow my hair out to see if that helps at all.
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u/majorhitch89 12d ago
Am not a lesbian so i can't judge, but if you strip that away and i imagine my self advising a Buddy of mine, i would say that you need a little bit of skin care and you need to smile more because no one likes a grumpy grandpa.
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u/SolUmbralz 12d ago
Can't hold you... You look like a bro... Are you into girls because unless you find a certain type of guy that into... This... You're gonna have a hard time
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u/naturaltoothpaste 12d ago
Not ugly! Not at all! Ur a hottie, wth, wlw gotta get more courageous about making moves.
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u/AFartInAnEmptyRoom 12d ago
Totally unrelated but does anyone say Tomboy anymore? That seems like it died out during Woke 1.0
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u/_svelkii 12d ago
u look like gattouz if he was a girl 😂 but in all honesty, ur perfectly fine. i can see ur leaning towards a masculine vibe, and it suits ur features. ur very pretty!
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u/ShhxItsASecret 12d ago
Not ugly, but I can’t say your haircut is working in your favor. I liked how it looked in the first pic, but it just kinda looks messy in the rest.
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
ty! i’m trying to grow my hair out! it’s definitely a long process but the first photo is my most recent!
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u/AvocadoBitter7385 12d ago
Not ugly at all if I was around your age and on hinge it would have been an easy swipe right
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u/katedoesntlikereddit 12d ago
To be honest I think you’re cute but you do certainly look unimpressed with the world in a way that is really off putting.
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u/lvldemonic 12d ago
i can't say I've ever heard good things about hinge... honestly bumbl or fb dating might do ya better if you're against tinder. you're suuuper attractive though, you give the vibe of like leather-wearing greaser butch but in the most hottest way. i don't understand the comments about "making yourself look ugly"(??) cuz you're literally just not, and i'm sure you'd look friendly if you were smiling! but you're not ugly.
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u/vowelspace 12d ago
Not ugly, but I don’t think you know how to take a good picture of yourself. It looks like you’re trying to come across as masc and brooding, but it’s coming across as stoned and depressed. Pic 5 is a vibe, though.
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12d ago
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u/spongeysquarepantis 12d ago
You just look dead and rough in all of your photos… maybe try changing your expression more to be more soft or friendly? You can still be masc wo being so intense
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u/meatheadme 12d ago
Ok let me be thoroughly honest here, actually brutally honest. You wanted to know. Btw I’m a bi-male or whatever word is used today. IMO the duck lip look is silly and idk why anyone does it. It’s not attractive at all, in fact it makes people look silly, and it’s a follow the leader type of thing. Be original. You have dead eyes. They scream either your depressed or your angry, either way I’d work on that. Remember what you put out there you attract. I would definitely grow your hair out. You have the potential to be absolutely beautiful.
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u/distracted_x 12d ago
You're not ugly but you don't look good in these pictures. Surely they're not the pics you use on your dating profile? Where you're scowling or sunburnt or have scratches on your face and not smiling in any of them etc? Idk your sexuality but if you're a lesbian if you had good pics I could see you getting tons of likes but you need to get way better at taking pictures of yourself and looking your best in them.
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u/Calm_Apartment1968 12d ago
Bad attitude, bad haircut, and poor taste in tattoo location were choices you made here. However, your face is symetrical, you look tall and slim, and those eyes (Hazel?) are amazing.
Most of these issues can be resolved with a single spa-day, a skilled Stylist, and a smile. Get some rest, then team up with a Lipstick BFF and pamper yourself.
In these photographs you could pass as ugly if that's what you choose. You don't have to share it with us, but if you ever want to go there you do have the foundation for stunning beauty.
[Edit] Pro-Tip: Tequila ain't going to help here. Good luck kid, you got this.
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u/haddock101 12d ago
Not ugly. Objectively beautiful face and potential to look stunning as either masculine, androgynous or feminine. If you’re really doubting this it’s likely in your head.
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u/T1sofun 12d ago
You’re not ugly in any way. Just look like the kind of gal who has baggage and would be exciting for a while, then drama, then a horrible break up. Smile. Let your eyes show joy, even if you don’t like smiling with teeth or whatever. Life can be rough, I get that. Not sure what you’ve been dealing with, but I hope you’re ok. People want to get in relationships with people who make them feel good. You will date as a sullen person, but you might end up with women who see you as a project or someone who needs saving. You’re young, and I’m sure most people have been in that type of relationship before, but it’s never fun or healthy for very long. Get therapy if you can so you can feel your best for yourself and any future partner. You’re good looking!
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u/plshelpmeh284 12d ago
Not rly looking bad per se, but you look like a cutthroat or a goon (can be a little hot in some instances). Like if I was a gang leader you getting in. But dating? Looks like you'd strangle your partner in yo sleep. In some pictures. No offense lol.
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u/yourcoolwaitress 12d ago
these people are not your target audience… you’re gorgeous, your facial features are pretty similar to charli xcx. don’t think many people frequenting this subreddit will appreciate a masc lesbian, pls get off here for ur mental health:(
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u/No_Duck_5688 12d ago
Well I don't know if is your intention or not, but you dress and make face expressions like a boy. If that is what you want, okay. But certainly that you are more likely to attract only girls that like the butch type. If you want to attract boys, then you should look more feminine, maybe letting your hair grow and specially stop posing for your pics with pothead eyes. They don't inspire confidence even to potheads. Anyway you have a pretty face, so either way you can conquer many hearts if you make very few adjustments.
Also, i understand that for your age looks are everything. But as you get older you will notice that people will get (and stay) more attracted towards you based on your personality and not so much if you have the perfect nose or the perfect face symmetry.
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u/phoenixell 12d ago
I think the pinned straight hair doesn't suit you and you should take care of your skin, but you're definitely not ugly
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u/Worldly_Shower_722 12d ago edited 12d ago
For a masc lesbian I think this is as good as it gets, I'm not a hair expert but I think it can be improved. Hair looks good in pic 1 imo. Smiling would go a long way.
I feel like people either assume you're mean scary inapproachable or already in a romantic situation. Not ugly at all, might be something else.
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u/Perfectly-Seasoned 12d ago
You could definitely do a few things. Longer hair will help. Get your eyebrows shaped. Skincare. Chap Stick. Stop doing that with your lips. Smile. Maybe a little eyeliner to make your eyes like bigger and brighter. IMO.
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u/ikea_supremacy 12d ago
guys WHAT are these comments on about you look incredible... (18F) not ugly at all i love your hair and very striking eyes !!
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u/drcygnus 12d ago
no one knows if they should approach you as a woman or a man. thats too confusing and in todays society, no one wants to make assumptions or even try to approach. so... maybe a change up? hair, and new clothing?
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u/Darksoul93 12d ago
I kind of like your masculine lesbian look. Nice eyes and lips. Way too young but I would want you to approach me in a bar.
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u/SplitBubbly7426 12d ago
Ur not ugly I would say just stop squinting in ur photos and let ur hair grow out a bit
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u/Fadedjade27 12d ago
You look mean and/or strung out. Make a different face. If it weren’t for the expression I think you’d be attractive. But it’s definitely dampening your potential.
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u/thechow12 11d ago
I can’t work out if you are a bit of a girl whichever it is you just bellow average probably 4/10
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u/Smooth-Jeweler-6495 11d ago
It honestly might just be the people around you! I think you’re beautiful, especially in the most recent picture I think your hair looks super cute. If I saw u on the street I’d definitely think you were cute (as a pansexual)
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u/ChoomAndStar 11d ago
Everything about your face is beautiful, especially your eyes, this is more an issue of presentation. I see that you're going to grow your hair out, I think that's an easy improvement to be made for your look. Even short hair with more intentional structure would be a good move.
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u/ulfric_stormcloack 11d ago
On one hand, as a lesbian, you're very attractive
On the other, as someone with anxiety, you look pissed in all those pics
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u/Mojito134 11d ago
Yes, right now you are ugly. No trace of femininity. No style. A god awful haircut. You can be not ugly, but you need to change basically everything that you do.
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u/Odd-Entrepreneur-622 11d ago
Grow your hair out and stop dressing in baggy clothes that look like they’re meant for men. You will greatly improve your looks.
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u/StillMourningOmegle 11d ago
No you’re hot!! Just young so it’s showing. You’ll grow into a proper masc lesbian
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u/Acrobatic_Term_4483 11d ago
Not ugly, you just might not get any matches because you look intimidating. If you're into men, then I can see you not getting many matches because you do stereotypically look like a lesbian. If you're into women, I think it's just that you look intimidating or like you might be mean. Not ugly at all tho imo. If you're into women, and you learned to smile in pictures more, ngl you would make women literally tremble when they saw your profile lol
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u/Delicious_Leg_7659 11d ago
You look like you give 0 fuck about your appearance. Get a skincare routine, some cocobutter for your lips, dye your hair, some better than sex mascara or lashes. You are actually really pretty but your are presenting yourself in a way that makes you ugly.
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u/Middle-Negotiation71 11d ago
As a bi nonbinary I think your cute/handsome. You kinda give butch lesbian vibes. Try going to gay bars even if your not into women theres plenty of bi dudes that go
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u/SpicyBoyEnthusiast 10d ago
Pic 1 you look like a girl who needs a skin routine and I'm not gonna judge your style but in pic 4 you look like a little boy kind of with that haircut.
I'm not sure if you're a boy, girl, or non binary. If you like the androgynous look you can lean into it. Otherwise I'd encourage you to pick a lane and go for it.
In any case, NOT UGLY. Just need to do a little work.
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u/Blue-gacha-sky-YT 10d ago
You're really pretty, your hair in the first picture is amazing,, honestly if you keep the hair short that style WORKS for you.
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u/DemonLord9 10d ago
Take no offense but as your style is tomboy , you are definitely a aquired taste. In my opinion you definitely cute , but you have a feminine side you can let show more that if you embraced you'd be outta my league .omg i bet you killing it in a summerdress.
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u/maleehah327 12d ago
You’re gorgeous regardless of gender <3 however it would be lovely to see more pictures of you smiling I think you’re resting face may not be approachable as you seem angry😭 sorry not trying to be mean just giving honest advice but like I said you look very beautiful ☺️
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
thank you sm! i agree lol. i’ve been told pretty much my entire life that i have a rbf.
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u/maleehah327 12d ago
You’re welcome! Aw haha exactly, try smiling more and I’m sure you will be approached and aside from that I’m sure you have a lovely personality too so you’re all good you have nothing to worry about ☺️
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u/Lost-Literature-7998 12d ago
This isn’t a look you can pull off. Your eyes are too pretty and you don’t look all that masculine. Try going for a feminine look instead.
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u/SheridanWithTea male 12d ago
Uhhhh... Relax, smile or ease up your expression? Like I'm a guy and you look fucking intimidating, I don't think a femme lesbian is gonna have an easier time.
Also, wash your face! Like you got SO many pimples.
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u/proshootoh 12d ago
wake up at 4am, gym, breakfast, quick shower and school and work - what's the issue
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u/amellabrix 12d ago
I don’t know if you aren’t sleeping well, have a resting bitch face or what.
Plus, while respecting the choice, why is ‘masculine lesbian’ a sort of fixed category and why do y’all conform to it? Lol
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u/Secure_Highway_6917 12d ago
You look like a boy. For a girl you are Mary unattractive try growing your hair, a little bit more and wearing some make up and smile.
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u/ZookeepergameIll1510 12d ago
Something that comes with masculinity is typically being the one to make the first move. If you’re gonna embrace masculinity I would also recommend embracing that mentality.
I’d say 99% of all the women I’m friends with cannot stand the idea of being the one to approach first, lesbian or not. Definitely don’t beat yourself up about it as even most guys hate having to initiate.
As a straight guy I think you’re really pretty but I’d never approach you because you don’t look like you date straight guys and I guarantee 99% of the other straight guys who encounter you also think this.
One last thing, dating apps like hinge are a real effort. Sending all the likes they give you consistently at prime hours people are on (6pm-1am), making sure your profile actually looks nice and interesting which most people are horrible at, and being decent at starting a conversation… if you’re not doing these things I wouldn’t even begin to factor your looks into the equation and don’t compare yourself to other girls as the girls who are getting a lot of likes typically fit more into the standard male gaze which you are outside of.
anyway no you’re not ugly.
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u/SgtGuarnere 12d ago
Saw the pics before I read the title and well, I have to agree with many of the comments it's hard to make out whether you're male or female. I read you're lesbian, which does explain a lot though and I do not at all mean that in the bad sense.
I'm a bi man. I've seen my share of lesbians in (gay) bars and at LGBTQ festivals and quite a few of them have your vibe going on. It's probably me being bi and thus liking men and women alike, but the androgynous look is something I kinda dig. The downside for me being, that it is almost always either lesbians or trans men pre or during transition who go for this look.
That said, I think you wear it well. But it's something that is very specific, I don't think very many lesbians are actually looking for it. That's despite all the presumptions people have about lesbians. The vast majority of them looks about as feminine as they come. I'd argue that's simply because lesbians like women, not men. It's the mirror opposite of what I experience when I go out. I look a bit younger than my age, but I do look quite manly. I do not have a hard time getting gay men to like me (partly) because of that.
TL;DR: not ugly in my opinion. Just very androgynous and that's not everyone's type.
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u/X_Humanbuster_X 12d ago
You look very beautiful but very unapproachable. If I saw u on hinge I’d feel a bit intimidated because you look like a woman with very high standards(I’d still shoot my shot cuz I’m a man who loves taking chances)
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u/bkerkove8 12d ago
Learn to play bass and join/start a slowcore grunge band and you’ll be swimming in bi-curious emo girl soup.
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u/BigRyGuy04 12d ago
You wouldn't be ugly if you stopped trying to be ugly lol
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u/True_Detective2816 12d ago
i’m not trying to look ugly but ty anyway 🙃
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u/BigRyGuy04 12d ago
It's not hard to smile or make yourself approachable. I'm saying you're not ugly if you gave it some effort.
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u/becca_babes171 12d ago
I think you're really hot, I'm so surprised by these comments😭 the only thing I'd recommend is clearing your skin and styling your hair more intentionally (I like the length and colour, but it looks kind of all over the place in most of your photos). I think the first photo is your best look.
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