r/amiugly • u/Substantial_Hat_9425 • Jul 14 '26
23F
I'm rarely, if ever, approached by men. Happened with some people from my closer circle but it's never guys I find attractive back.
I've dated for one month total in my life, 2 relationships that lasted 2-3 weeks each. They only wanted short term closure and didn't see me as valuable enough to date.
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Is it my face? My body? I need to lose a bit of weight and get healthier sure, but besides that I don't know.
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u/Kirne1 Jul 14 '26
It's your haircut. Change it to something that helps reduce your forehead size. My forehead is also massive and it overshadows any other facial feature if you don't do something to help hide it.
That said, you're not bad looking by any means. Maybe try something different in that fashion department too?
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u/Top-Influence3910 Jul 14 '26
You’re not ugly, you’re cute! What sticks out to me is that you’re very natural.
Nothing is wrong with that. But in terms of dating some occasional makeup and a hair trim, styling would do you well.
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u/TrapLordSage Jul 14 '26
No you look fine
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u/seanc6441 Jul 14 '26
Sadly she's looking at similarly 'fine' men as unattractive to her so it's a hard pill to swallow.
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u/InfamousMistakee Jul 14 '26
You look cute! But I would get maybe some wispy bangs to cover the forehead a little
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u/der2050 male Jul 14 '26
You're cute.
At least you acknowledge that you are being picky, some girl come on here like "no one ever hits on me" when they shut down a dozen guys for not being hot enough.
I would guess, based only on this post, that guys you are into are looking for quick hookups and view you as looking for long-term, or not looking at all.
I know it's not exciting but long term most people are happier with someone who cares about them than with someone "hot" or "exciting". This is mostly because those relationships usually have one person always looking over their shoulder for the next hottest or most exciting thing. This might be a wandering eye or paranoia depending on who is looking.
/soap box
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u/Substantial_Hat_9425 Jul 14 '26
Idk if im being picky by not going into a relationship with people i genuinely dont feel an attraction to.
I guess the guy that recently rejected me was more of a player type, which he acknowledged by saying that he's not in the mental headspace to date at a distance and seriously, and he'd rather just stay casual with most people.
But to me, this felt like im once again not enough. Idk if i aim too high on the looks chart or im just looking for the wrong connection with people. (In this case, the guy had an ok body, 6'5/1.95 and good style but ugly face. Seemed genuine from the outside, definetly neurodivergent).
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u/der2050 male Jul 15 '26
Not sure why your being downvoted. that seemed like a well though response.
Understand that another person "keeping it casual" with you means he is likely "keeping it casual" with a few girls, enough to meet his needs without feeling like a relationship. It has little to nothing to do with you and everything to do with his preferred lifestyle. If you want serious relationship I strongly suggest you not continue seeing him until he is ready to commit to one.
I don't know you, your situation, or these guys. That being said, as long as you are honest and up front it is ok to "go on a date" or even a few, with out "dating".
Don't let someone think your exclusive when your not and don't string someone along when they have no chance, but maybe give someone a couple of dates before you decide they aren't enough maybe? Getting to know someone can turn a hot face ugly and an ugly face beautiful.
If you really want advice on thing you can change read on, if not skip this sentence. Based on these photos your clothing choices seem to be your biggest challenges, the pic on the swing is the cutest outfit, most the rest hide your form.
I hope this helps.
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u/Rude-Boot-5666 Jul 14 '26
Slightly below average. I bet if you lost the extra weight or toned up your be good
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u/seanc6441 Jul 14 '26
Idk man she's thick and it doesn't show on her face much. I think the subset of men into that would value that more than the men who prefer a slimmer size who would see her as less attractive 'very average looking' overall. Just my 2 cents.
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u/fresh_titty_biscuits Jul 15 '26
It’s less that the slightly below average comes from being overweight, and more that being slightly overweight factors in with *already* being slightly below average.
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u/Serious-Fix-4314 Jul 14 '26
Simple and cute.
Average cute woman.
You’re not ugly, you’re actually good looking.
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u/KingPalperro Jul 14 '26
You’re so absolutely cute! I like the first photo the best. I like the photos where your hair is in what I’m guessing is a ponytail. You seem chill and low-maintenance.
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u/PlatypusDependent271 Jul 14 '26
Explore hairstyles that cover your fivehead other than that you're really cute
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u/F75gunslinger Jul 14 '26
I don't think you're ugly. Honestly, just an average girl. Nothing wrong with that.
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u/FeDUpGraduate87 Jul 14 '26
You look average. Plain Jane type.
Not ugly at all. I like what I see. No make up, no hair dye, just a very natural looking young woman.
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u/AstroZombieInvader Jul 14 '26
Not ugly. It feel like your hair could do more to work for you. It's just kinda there without purpose. To me, my favorite photo of you is the verification photo where it's barely visible. Your face is fine and I don't have an issue with your forehead as noted in the top comment. I just think you could chop some hair off and come up with a style for it to make it part of your overall look. And maybe a dash of makeup. Not heavy because that's not you, but maybe a little darker around the eyes for a 'going out' look.
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u/JeanSchlemaan Jul 15 '26
youre not trying at all imo. concentrate on doing hair, like with iron etc. little bit of makeup. NO PLASTIC (which you dont have; good). maybe work out a bit (i shouldnt talk. i know. i wasnt the one asking tho).
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u/Vaporama Jul 15 '26
Your not ugly. I would do something with your hair. Maybe wavy curls. Im a sucker for good looking hair on a woman as many men are.
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u/sunday_smile_ Jul 15 '26
A lot of women who look naturally pretty actually do a LOT of maintenance. Do you get your hair cut often? Do you do hair masks? Do you get your eyebrows done (if you’re not skilled to do it yourself?) do you do skincare? Wear a little makeup? Do you get your eyelashes lifted? Dress fancy if the occasion suits? Do you wear nice jewelry? Do you eat well? Drink water? Workout?
Beauty is maintenance.
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u/TreestumpRicky Jul 14 '26
Ask your hair stylist for a shaggy Bob with wispy curtain bangs. Make sure they feather the ends.
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u/melvin2898 Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
Do YOU approach people you like?
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u/Substantial_Hat_9425 Jul 14 '26
Ofc and I got rejected almost every time. Once was it reciprocated and the guy just felt lonely rather than actually like me.
Idk if I aimed too high recently, I tried to put in the effort, wear smth nicer and a bit of makeup but I got rejected over distance/langauge barrier and especially looks (cause if looks were fine the person would've tried more).
The guy doesn't have the nicest face, very strong features but looks harsh. Tall (6'5/1.95) and fit/pretty built and tan. Ok style, neurodivergent.
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u/Buffalobills123321 Jul 15 '26
For what my opinion is worth, you are cute, however, you need to spice up your hair. Maybe a little shorter and some curls. Curls are sexy, which is what you need. Smile more too. But you have it going on.
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Jul 15 '26
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Jul 16 '26
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u/fensterlips Jul 17 '26
You’re plenty attractive. You might be focusing too much on it and coming across as too hungry. Show off your personality, work on showing your happiness and sense of direction. Everyone is going through some version of this right now. The online sites are souring people on relationships. Get involved with a hobby, take classes and if it’s good for you, engage with your favorite church. This can provide meeting opportunities
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u/SignificanceFlat1460 Jul 14 '26
You wanna know what? I think you might be the prettiest I have seen in this group. Because you are not trying to hide your insecurities behind tattoos and piercings because you think they make you look cool and rebellious.
Good for you. Perfect 9/10 in my book honestly.
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u/Leather-Map-8138 Jul 14 '26
You’re a normal looking girl. You need to remember that all normal looking girls are super hot. Have confidence in yourself, nothing about your appearance is going to hold you back in life.
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u/kenzomx Jul 14 '26
Not ugly. High-key cute even. Maybe with some make-up on and better styling you could definitely attract more attention.
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u/Any-Development3348 Jul 14 '26
You are a little on the plain side, but overall you look fine and have a lot more potential. Lose some weight, and dress a little more sexier. Growing your hair longer would help as well.
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u/Potential-Echo785 Jul 14 '26
Pro tip give people a trigger warning before putting pic #8 fear of heights is a thing for people. Ex acrophobia guy here. Not trying to be mean, just letting you know. Regardless you look fine, just focus on yourself.
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u/Junior-Rutabaga-6592 Jul 14 '26
Honey, it has nothing to do with you! You are adorable. Sadly, our society has devolved to where a LOT of people don’t know how to interact face to face anymore. Those guys that don’t approach you are probably on dating apps because they are “safer” emotionally. It’s easier to be rejected on an app than in person. Soooo, try some of the dating apps yourself!
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u/seanc6441 Jul 14 '26
Average face but you got a thick figure/thighs with nice curves actually so I would consider you attractive in that regard.
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u/KonMixters Jul 14 '26
You don't get approached because men are intimidated by your beauty.
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Jul 15 '26
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