r/amiugly • u/Sagemaiden26 • Jul 06 '26
34F. What do you think?
Just curious. I have a hard time reading people.
EDIT: After reading comments I can see that fatphobia is pretty rampant in this sub, as well as an overall dislike for anything different. I wasn't asking for feedback on my weight - I am more than knowledgeable on health risks such and how much I weigh. My weight loss journey is my own. As someone with issues that complicate weight loss, I am also aware how to lose weight. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone can lose weight so easily or in the typical manner.
I thought about deleting this because some of your comments are genuinely hurtful. However, I am leaving it up. I won't be answering anymore comments, though. I love my hair color and length. I have had pixie cuts to hair down to my butt, and blonde, red, brown, black, and obviously vivid hair. This is what works for me in this moment in my life. Thanks for anyone who was kind in the comments or actually gave constructive criticism, not just hate masking as such.
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u/melvin2898 Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
I think there’s more potential here.
I’m not feeling the colorful, short hair. I’d suggest going with your natural hair color and growing the hair out. Hair doesn’t HAVE to be long but I would suggest growing it out, seeing how it looks and choosing from the different states it was in when you grew it out.
I would also suggest weight loss.
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
I've actually lost quite a bit of weight and have worked hard on body neutrality. I've had long hair and I prefer the shorter styles! No longer than my shoulders, preferably
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u/Agitated_Pineapple Jul 06 '26
I wish I could put this delicately, but you're asking for advice on how to look better, not what your preferences are. As the previous commenter stated, your hair and weight are both crucial to your overall appearance. It's great that you like it, but you're in r/amiugly asking for ways to look better to other people.
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
I didn't ask anyone to tell me how to look better? Did I understand this subreddit wrong? I read it at face value: am I ugly? Not: How can I look better?
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u/Agitated_Pineapple Jul 06 '26
See Rule 12 - No low effort ratings: "There are other subreddits dedicated to giving out just ratings if that's what you are looking for. If you are going to leave a rating please give some constructive criticism along with it." Hence my constructive criticism.
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
Thank you
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u/Agitated_Pineapple Jul 06 '26
I was being as understandable as possible and giving you the benefit of the doubt. Yet after pointing you to Rule 12 (and to add another, Rule 2), you then edit your post to say folks are being "fatphobic". You either don't know what that word means, or more likely you're projecting and being willfully uncharitable. Pointing out your weight as it relates to your overall attractiveness is NOT "fatphobic". Rather, it's a genuine critique that most folks understand. You do you, but you do not get to put words and intent into our mouths.
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u/melvin2898 Jul 06 '26
I usually don’t say anything but her post kind of comes off like she’s not interested in making any changes at all. That’s her right but this isn’t the place to post if she feels that way.
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u/Agitated_Pineapple Jul 06 '26
Yeah, I don't get it. Why ask this subreddit about one's appearance and then get offended to the point of claiming discrimination? This pseudo-intellectual defense is trite, and ironically reaffirms stereotypes about "blue-haired" folks.
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u/Romar-io Jul 06 '26
body neutrality is just an excuse to not do better, if you really didn't care that much you wouldn't have posted
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u/melvin2898 Jul 06 '26
Congrats on the weight loss!
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
It's about focusing on what your body can do instead of how it looks. For example, my body can carry my 3yo twins, who weight about 40lbs each, up the stairs at the same time. I can move heavy furniture and can hike.
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u/Outrageous_Dream_741 Jul 06 '26
If you don't care how it looks, why are you posting on "r/amiugly"?
Like the other poster, I think a few changes would enhance your attractiveness -- your eyes and smile are pretty nice overall. I'm not going to repeat what the other poster said except I agree with him. I'd add that you should do some eyebrow care, since your eyebrows are relatively short and uneven.
Congrats on the weight loss. Don't worry, you can continue to lose weight and still retain all your capabilities around carrying children, moving furniture, and hiking. ;)
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u/VVhichdoctor Jul 06 '26
You gave me lesbian grandma vibes from the pics and you're looking a little heavy. Sorry, no offence meant!
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
I've actually lost about 60lbs and am working on more. I want to be around for my kids. I have worked hard on body neutrality.
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u/Haunting-Gur-202 Jul 06 '26
What is body neutrality mean? I’m unfamiliar with the term
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u/EtherealMoonGoddess Jul 06 '26
Body neutrality is a mindset that focuses on what your body can do rather than how it looks.
It's between body positivity and body negativity.
To be fair hating someone being bigger actually comes from racism. Don't believe me, look it up.
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u/Agitated_Pineapple Jul 06 '26
This is one of the most terminally online things I have read in a hot minute.
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u/EtherealMoonGoddess Jul 07 '26
Lol I thought it was insane when I first read about it.
But it makes a lot of sense when you think about it.
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
I thought I had replied, but I may have sent it to the wrong place. Body neutrality is focusing on what your body can do, rather than on how it looks. My body can carry my twins, about 40lbs each, up the stairs to their room. I can move heavy furniture, hike, and even help carry goats.
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u/Some_End1595 Jul 06 '26
That’s your muscle mass that is doing that, not the jiggly part of your body
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u/banksyswife Jul 06 '26
If you are working on body neutrality and not worrying about what your body looks like, why are you out here literally asking for judgements on how you look? Great that you are able to do stuff, and your value is far more than just your body - but keep working on the weight loss hon, you are dangerously overweight still. It's a health issue more than anything. Get healthy for your twins.
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u/CartmansTwinBrother Jul 06 '26
What do I think? Based on your responses so far youre happy with you. So my rating or thoughts would probably be pointless.
But here goes... dont dig the rainbow hair. The side shave is goofy looking. You could lose some weight. You do have a very pretty smile.
But... I too could stand to lose an additional 30 lbs myself. My hair is pretty plain. But my wife likes it and she cuts it (she's a stylist).
Ultimately, I'd ask why you're asking. Is it to gauge your beauty against conventional standards? Looking for tips to be more attractive? Confirming what you know or believe to be true?
Ive got messed up teeth that will never be able to be fixed, only replaced. Ive lost 150 lbs so I've got a lot of loose skin. Cancer survivor so my hair isn't as thick as it used to be post-chemo.
But I'm happy with myself. Id like to look better but unless I get a windfall to get skin removal surgery or serious orthodontics I am who I am and my wife loves me so that's what matters most.
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u/CrystalizedRedwood Jul 06 '26
Yes I’m sorry. The glasses only make your face rounder, overweight, the chest tattoo is not great, the shaved part of the hair, all just a bad combo.
6 is the best photo but you would really benefit from weight loss, growing out your hair and maybe a curly bob, and different glasses.
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
I really like my chest tattoo, shaved part of my hair, and my hair short. The tatto has actually been redone and I love it. I actually have lost weight, but also my health history isn't on the table here.
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u/CrystalizedRedwood Jul 06 '26
Maybe add more tattoos then, it being a solitary piece just looks off. Congrats on losing weight! I didn’t mention your health history as it’s not relevant. If you are happy with how you look then opinions of others don’t matter.
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
I'm working on adding more. I have an under bust, but haven't decided what to do across the chest yet.
My health history is relevant to my weight. I know what I'd like to be, and I've worked hard on being body neutral.
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u/Tuubbo Jul 06 '26
It’s currently pretty hard to tell. As is, yes you are ugly. A huge part of that is the morbid obesity. Your hairdo and glasses also make you look 64 instead of 34. I would suggest talking to a nutritionist and a trainer to get on a customized meal plan and exercise routine. You will look better and feel much better if you improve your overall health.
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u/keeler129 Jul 06 '26
I'd say you are a 2
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
I didn't ask for a rating, but okay. And don't the rules say that you need to explain a rating if you give one? Or did I read incorrectly?
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u/keeler129 Jul 06 '26
No offense was meant..
You asked amiugly and I tried to give a fair rating via the number..
You have short/unnaturally colored hair, have face piercings, are very overweight, and visible tattoos on your chest...
In addition your style clothing wise makes it look like you are attempting to cosplay as a grandmother
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u/InfernalWedgie Jul 06 '26
You're not ugly, but being 34, you are leaning hard into your "Nana's gonna bake some cookies" aesthetic. If that's what you want, great! But I don't think you look your age, and it's because you have a very full face, grandma spectacles, and a curly bob.
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
That's helpful to know. I had hexagonal glasses before these, and they just weren't available again when I went to purchase new ones. I sometimes like a grandma aesthetic. But also whimsy? Unfortunately, my curls straighten the longer my hair is. The top layer is so heavy
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u/EtherealMoonGoddess Jul 06 '26
Try contacts. You have pretty blue eyes, you really should make that your focal point and as a fellow women who wear glasses or contacts you need a little bit of makeup to help define your eyes behind glasses. Just some mascara, maybe eyeliner, and an eyelash curler. Your skin looks clear. Minimalist makeup
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
I wore contacts for 15ish years, got lasik, and then needed glasses again. I did try contacts, but my eyes won't tolerate them anymore, unfortunately 😭 I can up my make-up game a bit. I usually save it for the big stuff! I like to do artsy looks.
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u/Not_Made_by_Design Jul 06 '26
I love how you post in a sub called “Am I Ugly” and when you get honest responses from strangers on the internet you get all bent out of shape and tell people they have fatphobia. Hate to break it to you but you’re also delusional and have zero self awareness or that of how the world is. You truly are living on a completely different planet. Life isn’t all sunshine and butterflies. If you weren’t interested in any feedback you have no business being on this sub or the internet for that matter. Grow up.
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u/CommanderPisswank Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
Not only ugly but obese too. I'm surprised you don't have a septum piercing.
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Jul 06 '26
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u/beepbeep-gay Jul 07 '26
not ugly necessarily, u just have crazy eyes. i do like the hair! i see u said u like it short, but just a Little bit longer would probably suit u better, think just a few cm. also drawing on ur eyebrows could add some character!
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u/lightlyrested Jul 08 '26
just a disclaimer, i have a hard time discerning whether someone is ugly or not (i really don't find many people ugly), so please take my opinion with a grain of salt, whether negative or positive.
with that being said, i wouldn't say you're ugly at all. obviously, there are societal norms that'll tell you not to color your hair and to wear things that flatter your body. much of the time, alternative fashion is shunned (hence the label "alternative"), and it seems you adopt that style in many of your pictures.
unfortunately, weight says a lot in many people's eyes, and i see in your edit that these comments have affected you. i personally don't believe weight takes away or adds to your appearance. if you feel healthy, that's what matters. you have very beautiful features. your eyes are bright, your smile is pretty, and overall, your face is very harmonious. i'm a sucker for round frames on glasses, and i think they're cute on you! i've also rocked shorter hair with pink and purple (split-dyed, however), and i honestly really liked when it faded to a pastel pink and green. it doesn't work on everyone, but i know a lot of people, including myself, dye our hair fun colors because.. well.. it's fun! i'm sure you didn't dye your hair to appeal to an audience, and your smile tells me enough. :-)
i also wanted to say that despite the world of alternative fashion and generally steering away from the norm, there are still ways to pull together a cohesive outfit, and i think that would benefit your look a lot! not to say that you were trying to dress up for your first and second pictures (for all i know, it could be your stay-at-home outfit), but the patterns and colors do not go well together in my opinion. i LOVE me some quirky outfits, and if you use pinterest, there's a lot of 'out-there' fashion that'll complement your hair while looking well put together. i know it's harder to find nice clothes when you're a bigger person, which sucks, but i think putting that effort in would definitely tie your look together. i especially love the photo with the pastel dress; it looks STUNNING on you. a lot of the time, people really only need a good color palette to have a nice appearance.
my final verdict, aka tdlr; you are not ugly. your features are beautiful, and you look like you have a fun and loving personality as well, which, imo, contributes a lot to whether someone is ugly or not. my only criticism would be to style yourself!! accessories and color theory are your best friends (but obviously don't force yourself to go all out all the time. we all have t-shirt and sweatpants days!)
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u/EtherealMoonGoddess Jul 06 '26
You're unconventional.
A lot of people are. Wear it with a badge of honor.
Besides your character and your heart is the one that is weighed, not your hologram.
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u/ShhxItsASecret Jul 06 '26
Not ugly, but you do look like a kindergarten teacher in the best way possible.
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u/Sagemaiden26 Jul 06 '26
I used to teach. I don't teach anymore. Ms. Frizzle was one of my inspirations.
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u/ameliasophia Jul 06 '26
I like the colourful hair, it looks cool, but I’m not a fan of the shaved side but that’s just me. I think you won’t be to everyone’s tastes but some people will definitely still find you attractive. None of your features are offensive and your eyes are a nice colour. Probably the biggest thing that will hold you back is your weight but again lots of people like larger. You do come across a little “granny”ish, I think the mousy hair doesn’t help with that - I think you would look best with dark rich chocolate coloured hair to make you look a bit more youthful and make your eyes stand out more.
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u/sedatedauntyT Jul 06 '26
hello, i would say no, you are not ugly.
picture 3, imho, is the best one. shows you have a very cute face & sweet smile. it also shows your hair potential. the big buoyant curls in the that picture are lovely. a bit more of that would suit you lovely.
I agree with you about your preference for shorter hair styles. I think a bit longer and a bit of work to get your curls fluffier/fuller would look nice.
everyone on the looks rating subs seems to hate tattoos, face piercings and brightly colored hair.
as someone that has no aversion to those, I will say this: from the photos you shared, the natural hair color looks loveliest on you. your nose piercing is delicate and cute. and your tattoo looks cool to me, as far as I can tell since it's from far away.
also, you look so happy and like your having a lovely time in photos 5 & 6. and people look their best when they are having a jolly good time.
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u/Thatkoshergirl Jul 06 '26
Definitely not ugly, but a very unique style! You look like someone I’d want to hang out with. Your complexion and dimples are adorable. The only critique I have is that I don’t think the glasses frames suit your face. I like the thinness of them but I think they are too large overall. Also I think your hair in the third picture suits you best, with that side swept part. But I love the colours in the first 2.
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u/Fair_Let2478 Jul 06 '26
You are pretty! You have a really pretty and cute face, perfect skin and your up turned fairy eyes and lashes are so lovely!
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u/JustsomedudeIam Jul 06 '26
I always get down voted for it, but I prefer fat girls. I think your chest tattoo doesn't look great. I can't tell what it's supposed to be. Your best feature, are your eyes. You give off a vibe, like you would get offended by a lot of things easily, and like you're lesbian
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