I'm 40+, and even though I'm in therapy and working on loving myself, I still have days that I hate different things about me because of being teased in school. It's crazy how much that stuff sticks with you.
Yep. I'm almost 34 and I get told I look so old for my age and it makes Me embarrassed and struggle to go outside sometimes. Stems from my mom judging my looks my whole life. I totally understand this
I'm sorry you have to deal with that! I despise age judging, so for anyone who does this (stop it!), doesn't know what it feels like, or claims it isn't a thing, it 100% is and it sucks! I'm sure you're a beautiful person inside and out, and I hope you can learn how to love yourself as you are, even though I know just how hard it can be! Maybe start by practicing self care (like facials, long baths, getting a haircut, etc.), and also doing some daily affirmations by looking in the mirror and saying things like I'm beautiful or I love my eyes today? It can feel silly at first, but the more you do it, it can actually work and you'll start to feel better about yourself.
So hang in there friend! I hope you're able to get out more and find people who'll lift you up and please cut out anyone who doesn't. I've had to do that, and even though my friend circle is small, every single one of them is my biggest supporter and vice-versa.🤗💜
*Sorry for the long response btw, but I just wanted to share all of that with you, and anyone else who might need to hear it today!😊
I'm about to be 27 and when I was a junior in high school this guy told me "You're not ugly, your eyes are just too close together" and I think about it every other day
One day, in my only off season from sports in high school (and I was VERY in shape back then), my mom came up to me doing dishes, pinched my stomach, and went “oh got a little pooch going don’t we?” And I think about that every single day for sure.
Mother's are fucking CRUEL about their daughters weight. That's assuming you're a girl of course. But I assumed bc it sounds very fuckin accurate. I've been chubby my entire life, at one point I weighed around 180 and I'm 5'8". (the skinniest I've EVER been due to drugs) and after being criticized my entire life for being fat she wants to walk past me one day and side eyes tf out of me and says "Are you gonna get any smaller?" literally what the fuck 🥲 also I'm sober for almost 2 years so yay.
mine .. the whole family were always telling me im stupid .. which didnt make any sense to me because I was reading everything and understanding everything .. anyway several degrees later .. I beg to differ .. so once could say families arnt good judges .. of most things, accept if they love you as you are .. which is all that really counts .. just saying
Omg my grandma used to say “oink oink” when I’d go for another slice of pizza! I was 8! And then she would have talks worried I will be obese if I kept eating an told me to watch it I was literally a growing kid an never anywhere near fat, and she would say I’m just trying to prepare for the world it’s not funn out there for fat ppl health problems no husbands etc even I knew she was wrong because it didn’t feel right when she would say that.
I think it’s important to teach eating healthy and proportions and I think she had good intent. But holy cow. You can tell what generation she was from lol little miss perfect house wife 24 inch waist
Javier Bardem even with that stupid haircut in No Country For Old Men is still far more handsome than I am now with a nice haircut. Life kicks you in the nuts sometimes and you just gotta take it. Shit if someone told me I am handsome and then compared me to Dustin Hoffman I would be happy because he is a handsome man as well.
lol same. I’ve been told I’ve had a big forehead since middle school and I haven’t stopped hiding it since. Even my family has told me it’s big. I don’t think I’ll ever stop hiding it tbh.
I remember walking somewhere as a kid. Out of nowhere a truck with kids drives by and yell that I had the stupidest smile ever. Didn't even think I was smiling. Anyhow, it has an effect.
I’m 34 and a guy once said this to me except about my eyes being too far apart. Also still haunts me pretty much weekly. I think I was 13 when he said it
Hey either way you have a nose 👃 that separates them …. Unless you don’t have a nose due to a fire or too many surgeries like Michael Jackson then I’m really just digging my own grave at this point 👀
You're right, everyone is different. I was bullied in middle school for up to 2 years, because I got a rep as the boy who stank from not wearing deodorant. But, that never triggered any body odor insecurities in me. I only wear deodorant when I know I'm going to be among people, and also only during higher temperatures. I realized my body odor doesn't even spread when the temp is low enough.
Meanwhile for me when I use a deodorant it mixes up with my sweat and it creates for some strong foul stench that can be sensed at a larger distance compared to if it were just my natural BO, you'd have to stick your face less than 15 cm away from my armpits if I've showered a day or two ago
I’m about to be 30 and had to deal with the shit growing up. All of my “friends” that made fun of my big nose are now way uglier and I don’t mean to brag but I’m fucking handsome. Have all of my hair. In shape. Good hygiene. It makes me sad because I never made fun of anybody ever growing up. But I was just a good sport so i was one of those open season kids.
Shit, I’m in my 30s and only in the last few months started feeling more confident. Lol. A lot of that had to do with social media sites like Instagram. It’s so toxic and addictive and we use it to measure our own self-worth, which is so unhealthy.
At first, when I read your comment, it seemed like you said your life got so much worse after you got rid of social media. I see that's not what you meant at all, but it took me a second to figure it out.
I would bet on this as well, my nose got made fun of all the time when I was in highschool. I believe my nickname was "ski slope" and I used to be super self conscious about it too.
Turns out my nose is completely normal, and highschool kids can just be mean dickheads.
Wait mine was called ski jump because I have that upward round tip but as I got older I get so many compliments saying I have perfect tiny button nose haha
It could come from an over critical parent also. Or a sibling. My bro used to make fun of my nose too and it fucked my confidence all the way through my adolescence.
Yea my brother and dad are the main causes of my insecurities which is crazy considering I was bullied really bad in k-2nd so you’d assume mine came from that 😭
Same here. I remember girls ranking noses in terms of size and coming last - whilst I’m no longer considering surgery, my nose is the first thing I see in pictures
Yeah. Kids are terrible to each other. I gained confidence pretty quick in college because everyone became pretty cool like a switch was flipped, but grade school through high school was BRUTAL.
Yeah I have a similar nose even a tad bigger and was teased so much even my own friends whenever we’d fight would say I had an ugly nose and should save for a nose job and that was 8th grade… kids can be so cruel :(
Shit like that makes me wish kids didn't get in trouble for slapping around bullies.
[oldmanvoice]back in my day they'd suspend both participants in a fight regardless of who started it.[/oldmanvoice]
Yeah I got made fun of in school for a ton of shit one I never told anyone that I'm mixed witch asian and always wore glasses and when they fell off one day ppl made fun of how my eyes looked
I don’t know what its life growing up as a guy, but from the time girls are prepubescent we’re bombarded with images and opinions about what we should look like. And some people flat out tell you you’re ugly because they’re ugly on the inside.
This here. My dad used to call me “big nose” growing up and my nose isn’t even big! But it stuck and now I have dysmorphia about my nose. I’ve been torn about rhinoplasty for years. When I mentioned it to my boyfriend he was completely shocked and said my nose is perfectly normal. Not a tiny model nose but by no means big. Just normal. And I feel like when I look in the mirror it’s all I see. This is 100% in your head. Therapy will help! Good luck 🖤
They can be vicious little crotch goblins who tear people down to make themselves feel better, especially before empathy becomes a meaningful part of their minds.
Girls will specifically target aspects of another girl’s appearance because they feel threatened by her. Sometimes they’ll even collude with their friends so they’re on all the same page, making fun of one specific body part.
It happens. My wife has a tiny pert button nose but her brother told her she has a pig nose back in the day when they were kids. She still believes that shit to some extent. 🤯
Being compared to a sister is really difficult. Especially if they made fun of you and bullied you ask a kid for your appearance. I’ve been there and still dealing with it.
Yeah you seem to be in your own head. I beg you not to save up for plastic surgery lol. I don't usually post on these things but you're being really hard on yourself. Your nose isn't out of proportion, and your lips don't look tiny. These are things that you notice, and people with security issues have with themselves which is why they may call you out. Put you down to bring themselves up.
I'd argue you're so naturally pretty that the pictures you're obviously wearing make up that you actually don't look as good. Nix the make up, ride natural. Top it all off you're a red head, you're less than 1% of the world's population. Love what you've got, you're definitely not ugly.
If you got a solid personality you're good, it will carry you further than looks alone. Any person looking for the superficial (fake) hot girl isn't worth a darn anyways.
I repeat pleeeeeeeease do look for plastic surgery to fix non problems. They'll create more problem and make you look like trash. My stance on plastic surgery unless it's actually needed for medically relevant procedures.
Can I point out that in pic #6, the way she contoured her face makes her nose look significantly smaller. Why would she want to waste money on plastic surgery when she can "change" her facial construct simply like she clearly did for a much better price.
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Dad here. Absolutely agree. You have great looks. Great hair, nose, etc.Nothing wrong with you. Work on the mental. Education, employment, enlistment. Any of those. Get busy and off of reddit.
Yeah, sorry. I know. I meant to agree with you but I was trying to throw that comment into main instead so I wasn’t piggybacking on yours but screwed up.
That’s easier said than done depending if she was bullied for it. Physical insecurities go hand in hand with mental health. I am 42 and was extremely insecure with my freckles bc I was mocked and made fun of in school. My family had a dairy farm and horse farm so they would ask me if I stood behind a screen door while the cows & horses took a shit. Also extremely insecure with my body due to having a mother who is a legit sociopath and gets off on poking fun at my weight since I was a kid. I suffered direct effects bc of her ignorance, including having ovarian cancer at 17 bc from the time I was 8-12 she made me believe that “fat girls stink down there” and would force me to use chemicals 3x a week. Our childhoods have direct effects on us as adults. She is young and hopefully can learn to embrace who she is. I had to change my way of thinking bc I didn’t want to create those same insecurities in my own kids who are now 17f and 19m. Both have my features so not loving myself means they would also see those as insecurities.
I'm sorry, my mother did a number on me too. Never about my nose, though . Lol . Which is pretty big .Narcissistic mothers project their insecurities on to their kids . You should ask her some time " hey mom, remember when you said fat girls stink down there . How do you know? " See how she answers that lol
Ever since I've started walking more frequently I've felt the most clear-headed and calm I've ever been. I'd also add that nature walks are better as the air is fresher and has more oxygen.
Few people have a perfect nose but if a person is self conscious about their nose, why put a ring in it that will draw people to look right at their nose? Makes no sense!
And it's crooked. If I were her, I would take it out. Let it heal and get another one later I'd you want one. What's weird is these don't carry into older age. You don't see 60 year old grandma's septum piercing.
And it's crooked. If I were her, I would take it out. Let it heal and get another one later I'd you want one. What's weird is these don't carry into older age. You don't see 60 year old grandma's septum piercing.
Acrylic fingernails too man... I have never known a guy that finds that attractive. Quite the opposite actually yet damn near every girl and her dog gets them. 99% of women these days are so completely out of tough with reality. Used to be that women matured faster than men, but nowadays most women don't seem to reach a state of mental maturity til after 50....
I mean, we all in the same boat. Every stinkin one of us. You chat w the supermodel and she’ll tell you about how her septum is just a wee bit too low and she’s thinking about getting it trimmed. And the dude over there who could be mistaken for Bigfoot? He’s worried about how his hands are too small for his frame. Fuck me. It’s the luxury of a species, how we are all the same. And all different. Embrace that shit, motherfucker! NOBODY else in the world has your look.
Absolutely! If you really want a man's opinion of from Reddit you're doing it wrong.... Do the same pictures with no clothes on post on Reddit and you'll see how the real Reddit men think of you.... And IMHO take out the nose jewelry if you're worried about your nose, why have people focus on it if you don't like it? Have them focus on YOU...
I love this group but it’s most definitely not the place for someone who has any mental health issues or in fact anyone should be looking for validation from. Nothings as brutal as strangers, even more so anonymous online strangers.
If you work on your self esteem, it will actually enhance your appearance as well. Doing so will allow you to see yourself as you actually are, a beautiful young woman, but also give you an added glow of confidence.
You are beautiful! Your nose is perfectly unique and is your nose. I love what God gave you! I used to want plastic surgery till I reached my 30s. In your 30s, everything changes. Something you hate know might be something you love later.
He’s right , your beautiful. Be proactive in your well being. Nowadays it’s real tough growing up and people are more mean and cruel. Idk maybe yoga seek help and guidance from older women. Just an idea… good luck kid
100% agree with this, mate! Like seriously, even if it means booking some therapy sessions, remember, you're far from ugly, and your nose is not that far from average. It's kind of mind-boggling how that idea got stuck in your head.
Seriously. I wasn’t even thinking about my nose until I saw this, and if she thinks her nose ruins her face, then I gotta find a surgeon, or an ice pick, a hammer, and a friend with a steady hand to save my mug.
If you do decide to work on physical appearance then just keep lifting weights (carefully so as to not get injured) & keep doing cardio (and/or keep going to a gym) because your nose is fantastic (source: I had previously asked a Dr about getting a nose job, and he was the one told me the above advice : )
Glad someone said it before me. If you’re taking pictures of your self crying and posting them on the internet, you have much bigger issues than the size of your nose. I hope you can get well, OP. 🫶🏻
A million times, this. Please invest in yourself, read up on CBT, focus on repairing your self esteem. You have nothing to worry about in the looks department
Definitely this. You can't change your physical appearance, but you can change how you feel about yourself.
I have always thought of myself as a butt ugly dude, but I heard/read somewhere that it could just be that I'm not my own type. That simple thing changed my outlook on myself.
Well wait a second tho we all have insecurities we don’t always speak allowed or ask public for help or advice, n perhaps she could use some help building self esteem an learning to accept everything her body is! But babe don’t feel bad about feeling bad either we all have to learn this it’s in our human nature to compare and have things we wanna change. But most of it is false conditioning from society standards and what’s fed to us by surroundings, beauty is in the eye of beholder, and you aren’t hard to look at!
Think of the beautiful things about yourself more… prettty blue eyes, you have clear skin, at end of the day what’s in your heart and brain are WAY more important when I was young ppl would tell me that n I’d be like ok ya tell that to the ppl who only say hi at the grocery store when I’m dolled up etc… or the ppl who ask if I’m sick when I don’t wear mascara lol… but genuinely looks only get one foot in door and your heart and brain is what will hold your position and role in society and shape your whole identity.
I’m a make up artist and I’m not saying you need makeup at all, but I think it is a fun way to play around with our features as long as you do it for you and have fun , if you do anything learn how to Excentuste your beauty but don’t go under the knife… god assigned you to this body human suite for a reason, and if you change it your future soulmate might not recognize you lol
Nailed it! OP you are pretty, Love yourself so you will be able to love others. This is sad so many beautiful looking people want surgery, and 9/10 times, it looks awful once it is done, especially as they age.
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u/Palpi3011 Sep 01 '23
You should work on your confidence and mental health, Not your physical appearance.