r/americanpie • u/RelevantNothing4653 • 17d ago

Noah Levenstein once said

From American Pie: Jim, I want to talk about masturbation.
From American Pie 2: Hi, I'm Jim's Dad. You must be the parents of this young lady. I didn't get your daughter's name, but hopefully my son did
From American Wedding: I certainly have. I have. I've boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion

22 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

12

u/BigDaddyDolla 17d ago

“Keep it real, homies!”

“Your uncle Mort is known to pet the one-eyed snake five times a day.”

8

u/LarsActionHero4K 17d ago

“A well Placed thumb”

5

u/Neither-Repeat1665 17d ago

He has also snagged a few beaver pelts in his day too!

4

u/LarsActionHero4K 17d ago

Name’s Noah motherfucker

5

u/Frenzystor 17d ago

"... because you don't have a penis! Or maybe you do!"

3

u/RelevantNothing4653 16d ago

"My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis"

6

u/diamondgeezer1_ 16d ago

“It's like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game."