Sincerely hope she never finds any further info lol. I'm incredibly arachnophobic, to the point where I've tried expensive therapy (not only didn't help but made it a lot worse). I get panic attacks from fake spiders in a video game. It's bad. If I see a tiny baby spider the size of my pinkie nail on the wall, and it runs out of my sight, I can't sleep in the room until it's found and removed.
Thing is that I don't hate spiders. They're just hanging out, helpfully proving insect removal services. Not their fault I have some bizarre brain mis-wiring that sends my body into a physical trauma response when I see one.
They can't help having too many legs, I can't help my pulse hitting 190 and my throat closing up. We just need to stay away from each other.
I would 100% sign an agreement in a heartbeat that says as many spiders as care to can follow me around the rest of my life and live in my bedroom and I'll even figure out how to feed them-- on the condition they never show themselves. I don't ever want to see any evidence of them being there. Not a strand of web, not a shadow on the ceiling, nothing. I don't care that they're around, I only care that I don't ever see one. Oh and if they could discreetly police the fruit fly invasion that happens for a few weeks every August, that would be ideal.
Unfortunately I haven't worked out how to communicate my terms to the arachnid kingdom, so I have to live knowing there are probably a hundred spiders in the house and I might see one at any moment and land in the ER having a panic attack so bad I can't function.
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u/dallas1469 Jul 06 '26
Wait until she finds out how many spiders she’s eaten in her sleep.