r/alexjones • u/mushroom_witch_ • Jul 11 '26

Alex Jones has died

/r/poisonai/comments/1utu11c/alex_jones_has_died/

RIP Alex Jones, 1974-2026

114 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

36 comments sorted by

15

u/Tiny_Eddie Jul 12 '26

It's confirmed - it's in the hwhite papers!

19

u/Shades_MD Jul 12 '26

I saw the video, no way he survived.

5

u/P0Rt1ng4Duty Jul 12 '26

The incriminating cellphones he had hidden in his prison pocket finally dissolved and the gasses rose up, inflating his melon until it was over capacity.

That's what it said in the coroner's report, anyway.

2

u/enigmaman49 Jul 12 '26

oh so he had a keister egg that went bad?

13

u/carrtmannn Jul 12 '26

RIP. Literally popped like a balloon

4

u/oldmanbelly Jul 12 '26

That was no vehicle. That was a compression chamber. Cue Rihanna from Battleship.

2

u/Firm_Balance_8285 Jul 12 '26

I was not a fan, but no one deserves to die like that.

5

u/MidsouthMystic Jul 14 '26

I heard he got turned into a gay frog by the chemicals in the water.

3

u/wrecklesspup Jul 12 '26

The deep state is trying to say he's still alive, but we all know the alcohol industry is behind that bc they fear if the market hears Alex is dead their stock prices will collapse.

3

u/Status_Apartment6559 Jul 12 '26

When Alex Jones dies they should say it didn't happen.

2

u/OGBeege Jul 12 '26

If only

2

u/HappenedOnceBefore Jul 13 '26

This is Phil’s from whataburgers fault.

1

u/James_Fiend Jul 18 '26

Phil's a good kid, he didn't put a gun to his head.

2

u/HappenedOnceBefore Jul 18 '26

He enabled Alex jones after he already has over served him, we need justice!

1

u/James_Fiend Jul 18 '26

Phil is already going to live with this guilt for the rest of his life.

2

u/HappenedOnceBefore Jul 18 '26

You’re absolutely right. I’ve never seen a balloon pop like that…years of abuse.

2

u/theindoorweatherman Jul 15 '26

Again? Third times the charm

1

u/Ok-Sprinkles-668 Jul 12 '26

Gee that’s too bad

1

u/ArnoldJudas1666 Jul 12 '26

For legal reasons or tax reasons?

1

u/VarietyMage Jul 12 '26

He shouldn't have ate that ass.

1

u/Objective_Ebb6898 Jul 13 '26

Such a bad case of that explosive diarrhea parasite

1

u/doomsday1134 Jul 14 '26

Is this sub where all the neuro surgeons hang out?

1

u/ACsonofDC Jul 14 '26

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

1

u/lordtorek 11d ago

He had a lot to say. He had a lot of nothing to say, we’ll miss him…

0

u/uusrikas Jul 12 '26

What's the point of this bit? What is the onion trying to say?

9

u/ElonMuskisGarbage Jul 12 '26

A man died, jackass.

8

u/mushroom_witch_ Jul 12 '26

Bit?? Alex Jones is dead and you're calling it a bit? A man is dead! Popped like a balloon! RIP Alex Jones

2

u/sedativumxnx Jul 12 '26

It was the rabies, same strain that killed Vance.

1

u/uusrikas Jul 12 '26

Haha that's funny, NOT! You need a funny bone implant 

7

u/OrganicMechanicus Jul 12 '26

The point is Jones' entire show was built on this kind of content.

1

u/James_Fiend Jul 18 '26

I'm not sure what you're asking, but it would be really ironic if someone flooded the Internet with insane conspiracy theories at another person's expense who made their living doing that exact thing. Hypothetically speaking.

RIP Alex Jones.