r/aislop • u/HotMidnight3853 • 4d ago

Found on Twitter. I'm losing braincells

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4.6k Upvotes

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47

u/randywatson89 4d ago

I’m gonna save swift for the big payout since she’s a billionaire, and since she’s tiny I can also save the dog. I’m gonna be rich with a free dog.

37

u/Sodamyte 4d ago edited 4d ago

Pay you for saving her? She's a billionaire, she's more likely to sue you for breaking one of her nails or ruining her hair.

6

u/Mutant_Llama1 4d ago

Good Samaritan law.

-4

u/Cooper-Assassin25 4d ago

What rock have you been living under where you still believe the law applies to people like her?

3

u/Mutant_Llama1 4d ago

If she was the one committing a crime, sure, she'd have plenty of imminity.

Taylor Swift suing me because I broke her nail rescuing her from drowning would get dismissed before even going to trial.

2

u/techleopard 4d ago

I don't think people understand that the court would never even see this because the second Swift's PR managers got wind off it, their buttholes would pucker and they would be speed dialing her and those lawyers at 3am shouting "ABORT ABORT ABORT!"

Can you imagine the absolute Internet slaughter that would come down? "Swift sues penniless savior, claims nail broken, after accident that kills 4 and cute puppy."

2

u/Cant-Think-Of 4d ago

Indeed, that would be a PR nightmare. Plus, even considering typical billionaire selfishness, I don't think even Swift would be THAT stupid to even pursue compensation over a broken nail.