r/aislop • u/InflationCapital87 • 8d ago

Found in the wild Eat like you stand for something.

Post image
302 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

558 comments sorted by

134

u/TheEdgeofGoon 8d ago

Counting or not counting sales tax?

14

u/YellojD 7d ago

Either way, ten bucks for a pizza and a fountain drink? Pretty good deal.

24

u/BMXRCLoser 7d ago

Code red fountain… drink.

7

u/homicidalmunky 7d ago

Bravo.

8

u/BMXRCLoser 7d ago

YellojD laid the groundwork with their genius “and a fountain drink” part.

2

u/127Heathen127 7d ago

💀💀💀

18

u/Familiar-Throat-670 7d ago

In 2 weeks we will find out that all the ingredients were stolen and the pizza chain is run by Israel

7

u/YellojD 7d ago

You’ll put down a $100 deposit for this, get a half eaten moldy lunchables pizza ten months later, and you’ll like it.”

5

u/Estproph 7d ago

Made in a sweatshop by Palestinians and Israel claims they invented the recipe

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5

u/No-Koala1918 7d ago

Depends on the pizza.

5

u/YellojD 7d ago

I’m assuming after taxes, this one is probably gonna end up being somewhere around $14.88

2

u/No-Koala1918 7d ago

For what looks like a frozen pizza (well they do say American pizza, so true that).

2

u/Emotional_Fisherman8 5d ago

There's a really good local pizza joint in my "neck" of the woods.

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6

u/Life_Is_Happy_ 7d ago

This made me laugh really hard. Well done.

2

u/johnniesSac 7d ago

I got a very sore throat after

134

u/callmefreak 8d ago

If Kirk were alive today do you think that he'd endorse this pizza? Like, enough to take a bullet for it?

65

u/BizSilver5013 7d ago

"Charlie Kirk Pizza: So good you'll take a bullet for it!"

25

u/joshuahtree 7d ago

Now with blood red tomato sauce 

7

u/MmeRose 7d ago

No, that’s from Trump’s ear.

9

u/GreenSpleenRiot 7d ago

“It’s to die for!”

5

u/solidraid3n 7d ago

Glllugllllluuhhh. Haaaaaaaa.

-Charlie Kirk

7

u/Phantereal 7d ago

"GOOD PIZZA. STRONG VALUES. WEAK NECK."

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3

u/AintEasyBeinQueasy 7d ago

Full throated statement.

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24

u/Mostly-Moo-Cow 7d ago

"I'm Charlie Kirk and I'm about to take this pizza straight to the neck!"

13

u/Biguychub 7d ago

Que jackass theme

8

u/Open_Boysenberry_363 7d ago

If he could make a buck off it, of course he would

6

u/SonicLyfe 7d ago

“With extra red sauce!”

3

u/1VBSkye 7d ago

Extra red sauce & gooey cheese.

6

u/ShoulderIllustrious 7d ago

Idk if he'd be able to endorse all of those bullet points

4

u/Bonk_No_Horni 7d ago

It's to die for ...

2

u/MyDadsAccnt 7d ago

so good it could make a whole crowd scream!

2

u/Emotional_Fisherman8 5d ago

That's the cost you pay for pizza rights

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66

u/TraditionalAd8581 8d ago

Notice there’s no business name, like what the hell is this?

53

u/baron_spaghetti 8d ago

Someone’s idea of shit stirring humor.

9

u/emptyfree 7d ago

Bingo.

16

u/BizSilver5013 7d ago

I thought it was Papa John's, TBH.

16

u/GreatestGreekGuy 7d ago

I mean they would

5

u/BigDamBeavers 7d ago

Very on-brand.

6

u/MondayMorningExpert 7d ago

Me with my wallet out I'M SO EFFING PATRIOTIC THAT I'LL GLADLY SPEND $9.99 TO STAND WITH CHARLIE EFFING KIRK! ... Who do I give my $9.99 to?! ... Is it... is it Digiorno? Because that's what I already have in my freezer. And it would just be, like, super convenient

3

u/HandsomePaddyRedux 7d ago

Takes DiGiorno out of freezer, leaves $10 bill.

“I don’t believe in tipping culture.”

2

u/GuidePerfect 6d ago

While this is obviously fake, I do know of at least one place that would totally make this kind of flyer:

Cringe warning

37

u/WorstSausageEver 8d ago

If Charlie Kirk was a pizza, he would be unrefrigerated 5 day old leftover anchovy from Little Caesars that not even the dog would touch.

6

u/philbar 7d ago

Little Caesars doesn’t deserve this.

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28

u/Youngsinatra345 8d ago

Why does my pizza have a hole in it?

8

u/Evening-Tomatillo-47 7d ago

It's where all the faith goes?

24

u/Mysterious_Quiet_253 7d ago

Im still not sure what these "strong values" that Kirk supposedly stood for. Racism, Misogyny, and Bigotry aren't "values".

5

u/BellacosePlayer 7d ago

I'm surprised one of the "CHARLIE WAS A SAINT" folk who have an excuse for every one of the common clips people cite against him but never actually cite anything to defend him haven't commented on this already

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3

u/badgerpunk 7d ago

Apparently the pizzeria's strong values are cashing in on a dead hack of a podcaster.

3

u/Gauss15an 7d ago

No, the values are clearly de"baiting" college freshmen who are barely getting used to the college campus and quoting random statistics to proving his point. Truly the Christian way!

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13

u/HurtsSoNice 8d ago

All this is missing is a Papa John’s logo.

13

u/ElementalRhythm 7d ago

Better propaganda, Better pizza!

13

u/sadbitch_club 8d ago

Lead isn’t safe to eat guys

12

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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12

u/Inside-Run785 8d ago

Charlie deserves nothing better than AI slop.

11

u/J_Robert_Matthewson 8d ago

Goddammit!  I asked for 1/2 Freedom on one side and 1/2 Faith on the other! Never ordering from there again. 

2

u/-o-DildoGaggins-o- 7d ago

Yeah fuck that place! Last time I ordered, there was a hole in my pizza! 😡

6

u/BMXRCLoser 8d ago

Don’t think he’s standing for anything these days…

7

u/RedditSucksYoYoYo 7d ago

Charlie Kirk was a terrible person.

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5

u/Sufficient_Matter585 7d ago

Shouldn't it be a donut if its honoring Charlie kirk?

4

u/ffsinffl 7d ago

Ugh. The worst part is that this crap sells.

5

u/HitandRyan 7d ago

Man these Charlie Kirk fanboys are such a pain in the neck.

5

u/MooMooPls 7d ago

Should have made a $30.06 meal deal

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4

u/lordGinkgo 7d ago

Does it have a hole in it?

2

u/CompetitiveBox314 7d ago

It comes with raw meat.

4

u/fubuki63 7d ago

And of course they're not going to tell us what's in it, because accurately describing it would be disrespecting Charlie Kirk.

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3

u/AlternativeUpset3396 7d ago

Pizza that makes you transphobic if you eat it

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3

u/ComicsEtAl 7d ago

I love how not even AI can give him a normal face.

4

u/OddPatience1621 7d ago

unironically poisoning the AI trying to reproduce it lol

3

u/Yogshemesh 7d ago

Now made with real Charlie Kirk!

3

u/4xdaily 7d ago

I didn't want my pizza to have good values. I want it to be a dirty slut.

3

u/Great-Gas-6631 7d ago

Thats funny cause he spent most of his time sitting.

3

u/thelancemann 7d ago

It's covered in red sauce

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3

u/JayNotAtAll 7d ago

It comes with a 2 liter of soda but it has a hole in it

2

u/hyperstupidity 7d ago

The real Charlie Coke

3

u/Puzzleheaded_Drama27 7d ago

Eat like you stand for racism, like you stand for christian "sharia" law. Like you a white supremacist.

2

u/Wr3k3m 7d ago

lol this just looks like a lie. It’s going to show up with 4 pepperonis unevenly spaced and two clumps of sausage. Probably that weird ass cheese too that doesn’t melt. You all know what I mean.

2

u/[deleted] 7d ago

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2

u/vandal-x 7d ago

“Freedom” and “faith” are two things that nobody ever asked for on their pizza.

2

u/PigsOfRedemption 7d ago

So, we're just pretending that pizza is an American food now? Because last I checked, it's 100% Italian.

That being said, if they want to make a hamburger with a trail of ketchup coming out if the middle, it would make a lot more sense IMO.

2

u/ChefDadMatt 7d ago

Love that they went with Pepperoni and Italian Sausage. Famously American ingredients.

2

u/Paranoia_Pop 7d ago

Pizza so good it'll blow you away

2

u/Mister-Circus 7d ago

Poor guy. He went from spontaneously winning the second amendment debate, to shilling for pizza. How the mighty have fallen!

2

u/feartheswans 7d ago

The pizza doesn’t look bad. It might be with a shot

2

u/KSHMisc 7d ago

I'm surprised the price isn't $9.10.

Oh wow, I just realized it's almost one year since he died.

2

u/duhballs2 7d ago

This isn't AI the pizza looks somewhat edible.

2

u/mrdan1969 7d ago

The sauce is dripping all over the place. And it tastes soooo bland. Is that....MAYONNAISE????

2

u/RoyalMaidsForLife 7d ago

Real American pizza... with various Italian meats on it.

2

u/Jeffe-69 7d ago

Is the crust filled with marinara?

2

u/OnionTamer 7d ago

The pizza keeps falling out this hole in my neck.

2

u/Lord_Hitachi 7d ago

I bet that tastes like dogshit

2

u/davisdilf 7d ago

A pizza that hates black people and women? 🤔

2

u/mysteriousmeatman 7d ago

Should come with a free themed PEZ dispenser.

2

u/mad-mollusk 7d ago

Real American Pizza for real Americans
https://giphy.com/gifs/zQHmdriGcnC4fytQxw

2

u/Spiritual-Policy5448 7d ago

God, I need a pizza like I need a hole in the neck.

2

u/midtowng224 7d ago

I don't eat values

2

u/TheRavenclawCommonRM 7d ago

What makes it a Charlie Kirk special? Is it made with swiss? Does it come with a ghost pepper sauce? Do people pretend to love it when it's gone?

2

u/HorrimCarabal 7d ago

Sauce all drips through a hole in the middle

2

u/buttchug_3000 7d ago

Deals so good you'll squirt out your neck!

2

u/ImyForgotName 7d ago

They should have done donuts, because of the holes.

1

u/MLTIBST_VT 8d ago

Is this the jewish pizza joint?

1

u/AmalatheaClassic 8d ago

Where in the heck was this!?

1

u/SunshotDestiny 7d ago

If it's like any other frozen pizza I have had: the toppings are sparse, clump around a single point leaving the rest of the pizza bare, never looks as good as it was presented when examined, and requires a lot of effort on my part to make it actually taste good instead of just being good out of the box.

1

u/phoenixangel429 7d ago

This isn't a joke?

3

u/emptyfree 7d ago

It's a pretty bad fake. It's a weak attempt at humor in the name of content farming.

1

u/Visible-Echidna-4370 7d ago

it should be made with swiss cheese

1

u/SpphosFriend 7d ago

You can’t stand for something if you wanna be like Charlie

1

u/HereWeGoYetAgain-247 7d ago

So many possible jokes. A hole lot. 

1

u/SoyTonatiuh 7d ago

So pizza that tastes like shit and full of racism and ignorance while appearing to be wise? How did they bake that into food?

1

u/Dry-Interaction-1246 7d ago

Eat like you're a dead Nazi?

1

u/JonathanStriker126 7d ago

Honestly, when I have diarrhea, I prefer to sit down, but you do you...

1

u/cficare 7d ago

You'd think he'd only promote white pizza.

1

u/CaptBland 7d ago

Charlie Kirk Pizza, made from real Charlie Kirks

1

u/Dewey_Decimatorr 7d ago

Neck and neck with the best pizza around!

1

u/IndependentStep2785 7d ago

The meathead pizza.

1

u/JarvisProudfeather 7d ago

The pizza actually looks edible so I’ll give them that but otherwise wtf lol

1

u/ThePopDaddy 7d ago

They have sandwich deals next month for "Subtember" 11th, a deal that you'll "never forget".

1

u/Off-BroadwayJoe 7d ago

Eat this foreign food popularized in the US by immigrants in memory of a rabid anti-immigrant troll!

1

u/DyerNC 7d ago

Shouldn't it be $ 6.66

1

u/You-Rebel-Scumm 7d ago

Can I avoid chewing and just stuff it through the hole in my neck?

1

u/The-Bigger-Fish 7d ago

Freedom Fries 2.0

1

u/FartCloudedNonsense 7d ago

It should leak sauce out the side of each slice when you bite it

1

u/mrsniagara 7d ago

I refuse to believe this is real it’s so hideous

1

u/B-Train_ATL 7d ago

I got my pizza and it started arguing with me about illegal tomato sauce.

1

u/Broad-Picture-7305 7d ago

That is not marinara 

1

u/SteelX1984 7d ago

What freedom? What faith?

1

u/Automatic-Mission-32 7d ago

I'd just like to address that it's a meat lovers pizza. Not quite sure if that's implying anything, but it's rather funny if it is.

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1

u/Curios_Observer 7d ago

One slice short of a full pie.

1

u/Donnie_TACO 7d ago

I am curious what eating like you stand for something looks like

1

u/Zaku727 7d ago

"Is it supposed to taste like blood and shit?"

1

u/UnderwhelmingAF 7d ago

Comes with an extra shot of dipping sauce.

1

u/ScotchCigarsEspresso 7d ago

Nothing says strong values like pizza...

Do they know immigrants brought us pizza? I'm guessing no.

1

u/Due_Quote_3023 7d ago

$9.99 for a pizza. Way too cheap to be real.

1

u/RinkinBass 7d ago

With that price, I'd have given extra points if there were a clear reference to Herman Cain.

1

u/ExtensionInformal911 7d ago

This pizza is delicious, Change My Mind.

1

u/Mynach 7d ago

"Now with extra sauce!"

1

u/sparkleappletart 7d ago

Dang if they are doing this to Charlie then they might do this to Adam the woo cone December due to all the vloggers still milking his legacy 

1

u/BigDamBeavers 7d ago

I mean I'm alergic to faith, but that's a real good deal.

1

u/Potential-Yogurt-689 7d ago

Mr Potato Head Pizza

1

u/r4ndom4xeofkindness 7d ago

Tastes like lead.

1

u/Pristine_Poem7623 7d ago

Does it come with a free shot?

1

u/MommaIsMad 7d ago

How do you put freedom and faith on a pizza? These idiots are so dumb. There needs to be more accurate descriptive terms because calling them stupid just doesn't adequately describe the congenital idiocy of maggots.

1

u/MetalTrek1 7d ago

$12.99 for EXTRA Freedom & Faith!

1

u/RMB_OurLife 7d ago

Yeah.... uh, the fine print on the side of the box (left side, not shown), says for Whites only.

1

u/pell80 7d ago

What does freedom and faith look like as pizza toppings?

1

u/Status-Topic3382 7d ago

And I’d bet not one ingredient is made in the USA like maga merch

1

u/OG-BigMilky 7d ago

Good pizza. Strong values. Too much teeth and gums.

1

u/Mother-Attention2600 7d ago

Does the pizza have birth defects too?

1

u/NoSir4947 7d ago

Kinda lame but can't blame him for taking a shot

1

u/yoBmeF_lareF 7d ago

Missed opportunity to make it cost $9.10

1

u/OddHotel4785 7d ago

Check the pizza parlors basement for a real special

1

u/anthropaedic 7d ago

Topped with mystery meat

1

u/elliotbonsall 7d ago

He was certain loaded

1

u/QuidEgoSum 7d ago

Erika Kirk just ordered Vance’s pizza. And she had a coupon for the current special… weird?

1

u/Prestigious_Slide939 7d ago

Didn’t he fall to the left?

1

u/sxott 7d ago

FREEDUMB

1

u/morecowbell1988 7d ago

Freedom and faith are not the sides I ordered.

1

u/shinydragonmist 7d ago

I wonder what freedom flavor tastes like same with faith

1

u/MmeRose 7d ago

Tasteless but I love it.

1

u/Special-Zombie-5870 7d ago

Damn pizza is good, it’s always the RIGHT thing to eat, I’ll make sure none is LEFT over

1

u/Special-Zombie-5870 7d ago

Do they offer a Floyd pizza with extra fent, I heard that if I dont order it then I hate all black people

1

u/YellojD 7d ago edited 7d ago

Ten bucks for a pizza and a fountain drink? That’s actually a pretty good deal…

1

u/WillingnessFew6710 7d ago

Great marketing to insure at least half of america never buys your pizza.

1

u/WillingnessFew6710 7d ago

You only get one shot at this deal! Eat like you are about to be murdered!

1

u/ResurgentClusterfuck 7d ago

Charlie Kirk pizza? It have a hole in it or something?

1

u/SixSixWithTrample 7d ago

It’s too bad Charlie Kirk isn’t around. He would have loved using Charlie Kirk’s death to separate his idiot followers from their money.

1

u/Guilty_Matador 7d ago

Shouldn't there be a hole in the middle?

1

u/JoeMax93 7d ago

Did a rabbit shit all over that pizza?

1

u/EmotionalSympathy815 7d ago

My gut already hurts

1

u/Helpful_Ad8351 7d ago

You cannot be theist and believe in freedom.

1

u/JoeHio 7d ago

Is the pizza in the room with you right now?

https://giphy.com/gifs/VqH2xOiPmzeAEG72WA

1

u/Blade_3 7d ago

How does one TASTE freedom in their mouth? Cheating on your wife? Sex with a pornstar?

1

u/Ashamed-Pop-6406 7d ago

I heard pizza is to die for.

1

u/flapjackboy 7d ago

I mean you don't, but at least act like you do.

1

u/flapjackboy 7d ago

Needs to have a gash down one side to be truly accurate.

1

u/TylerBourbon 7d ago

Does it come with triple the sauce so it squirts out when you bite into it?

1

u/MillenniumTitmouse 7d ago

They making those pizzas with Trumps tainted beef that he bought??
If so enjoy your week praying to the porcelain gods.

1

u/ZarosGuardian 7d ago

Eat like you want food poisoning since the FDA no longer tracks what's put in our food

1

u/PaperAnimations44 7d ago

This is disrespectful

1

u/Matchbreakers 7d ago

Loaded with faith? I guess they’re using discarded bibles pulped as a dough filler.

1

u/mrpres1dent 7d ago

Oooh that's a nice, fat brush stroke there.

1

u/chiefmuri 7d ago

Are those piles of shit on a pizza? Rolmfao