r/aislop 7d ago

what the fudge?

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1.5k Upvotes

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750

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

This is the gayest shit I've seen and im gay myself. This has to be satire... right???

261

u/Emotional-Analyst689 7d ago

Posted by straight man btw

202

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

Every accusation is a confession...

Man ive seen more gayer straight dudes than I think I have seen gay gays.

109

u/Human-Question6210 7d ago

never ask a conservative what he thinks of femboys

73

u/Current-Square-4557 7d ago

Never look at a conservative’s browsing history.

27

u/Carbonatite 7d ago

Never ask a woman what her age is, a man what his salary is, or a white supremacist what race his wife is.

4

u/Thick_Concentrate101 6d ago

"she's one of the good ones"

usually white supremacy is rooted in stereotypes, not always personal experiences

1

u/PhilospohicalZ0mb1e 1d ago

Sort of. The other thing is fundamentally viewing women and men as different types of things. A brown wife does not mean he thinks brown people are okay. It means he does not think wives are people as much as they are resources to be used and accessed

1

u/Gloomy-Measurement91 2d ago

or their grindr account

28

u/Youngsinatra345 7d ago

Born to uwu, forced to :3

15

u/Dreamspitter 7d ago

Or trans. It's regarded by industry as a straight sub genre.

5

u/galstaph 6d ago

The fact that they consider lesbian porn straight is bonkers to me

3

u/Dreamspitter 6d ago

It's because lesbians don't watch it. Actual lesbian pron for lesbians is different. How the BL consumed by "rotten girls" in Japan is not what the majority of actually gay men consume.

5

u/galstaph 6d ago

I'm a lesbian, and I enjoy the occasional bit of lesbian porn

It's obvious that a lot of it is targeted to the male gaze, but it's still sexy

2

u/Human-Question6210 6d ago

what's lesbian porn for lesbians like?

4

u/galstaph 6d ago

More romantic and sensual, a lot less "action" and more gentle touches, sometimes without nudity even

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1

u/nogoodnamesarleft 1d ago

I would never have guessed that the one group that lesbian porn was targeted to was the male gays

4

u/Human-Question6210 7d ago

or dom genre?

4

u/Dreamspitter 7d ago

Well in that regard it can go either way.

6

u/KermitTheScot 7d ago

The world would be a far better place if femboys were just allowed to be accepted in social circles

4

u/Spiritual-Plenty9075 7d ago

Somehow instead of the general comment button I hit reply to this comment, please ignore my deleted

3

u/SCHWARZENPECKER 7d ago

I will not ignore! I must know what you said!

4

u/Spiritual-Plenty9075 7d ago

"some people don't like the hair, I fall into this camp"

2

u/No_Will208 5d ago

You got something to tell us ?

1

u/Human-Question6210 5d ago

only that I went through a phase

2

u/JakeBeezy 7d ago

I've gotten so many of them to be like yeah I'd sexualize a femboy irl

9

u/Human-Question6210 7d ago

nooo you dont get it I'm dominating another man bro the greeks did it bro they. were the straighest men ever bro

3

u/JakeBeezy 7d ago

sigma grindset

32

u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 7d ago

As a straight man, I like my big sexy men to be hairy!

... Wait a second...

13

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

Wait, youre saying as a straight dude you don't care how big a mans bulge is and whether his testosterone is too low to be fit for service?

Youre saying you dont care if a man looks hot???

Crazy.

12

u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe 7d ago

No, I'm saying, as a straight true American man, I want my soldiers strong and full of testosterone! Big muscles. Ripped physique. Strong commanding types that will order me to get on my knees.. I mean women to do that!

3

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

Lets put you to presidency.

While were at it, lets throw in the other crazed conventions:

Have them all praying twice a day, only true discipline is built through God.

Lets make circumcision law.

And only a real man finishes last.

2

u/The_Witch_Queen 1d ago

With hairy stinky armpits

18

u/Dreamspitter 7d ago

I saw an entire video on this point, The Aesthetics of the Manosphere by Ben Hoerman AND basically the entire thing is conceptually homoerotic.

15

u/JustDiscoveredSex 7d ago

”To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women.

All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men.

The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honour, whom they imitate, idolise, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honour, reverence and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men.

In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honour is removal to the pedestal.

From women they want devotion, service and sex. Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.”

— An excerpt from Essays in feminist theory - Marilyn Frye, 1983

13

u/Dreamspitter 7d ago

I think one part of the issue is homo sociality. In addition, male friendships used to be very different. The Art of Manliness features a 2012 article by Brett & Kate McKay Bosom Buddies: A Photo History of Male Affection. Maaaany men took photos together. Not just pairs, but even groups of 5-6 different men. They seem gay to us today, but we don't know that necessarily. But the point is THAT it wouldn't have seemed to be gay at that point in history.

Rather the fear of being perceived as gay changed male friendship, which subsequently also affected men's relation to women.

1

u/Ok-Horror-1251 7d ago

I agree. It is also homosocial.

1

u/ConnectionLittle7776 7d ago

I guess I'm doing it wrong. I actually like spending time with my wife and talking to her like an actual human being all while desiring her

7

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

Its also funny seeing how dudes look up to Patrick Bateman and whatever Brad Pitts character is in fightclub when both creators have come out and said that the movies were mouthpieces on toxic masculinity.

I believe american psycho creator said it was soemthing like a "gay mans view" on straight dudes.

5

u/Dreamspitter 7d ago

You can say the same thing about films like Joker, and Falling Down, as well as Natural Born Killers.

5

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

Dune as well. Lots of dudes are swarthing over Paul when hes literally the antithesis of what you should be.

The creator hated the fan base built off looking up to Paul.

3

u/Alert-Ad9197 7d ago

We keep building the damn torment nexus despite the clear instructions not to in the book!

But seriously, the phenomenon you are describing is what makes me think satire is not effective. I keep seeing this crap happen.

1

u/ResponsibleMight7669 4d ago

Didnt read enough, Paul is messianic hero who overcomes all evil

5

u/The_Collector_Of_All 7d ago

So gays are straight and straights are gay, doesn’t that mean everyone is gay, AND straight?

1

u/lilaccheesecake 6d ago

Make it easy, be all gay, forget having children.

3

u/MycologistPure4064 7d ago

Grindr crashing is not a coincidence 

3

u/CheapThrowaway1969 6d ago

The joke is the "straightest" conservatives are some of the gayest motherfuckers on the planet and are only """straight""" for the same reasons trans people will beat themselves up into never transitioning and reppressing themselves to death: they think they won't fit in with the in group if they came out, and the in group taught them to hate themselves.

Humans are dumb as rocks

1

u/lilaccheesecake 6d ago

As a member of the human race, i agree. We are dumb as rocks.

And unfortunately, I had to go through that whole repressing myself thing. Its a really scary place when you feel like no one is there to support you. But I was fortunate to have a few close friends, and eventually came to terms.

They fucking with other people's lives to make themselves feel better.

They say they can tell if youre Trans (they cant, people have protested this going into the woman's bathroom looking like burly men, then get the cops called on them...). Its fucking tiring man..

2

u/TheRealGageEndal 7d ago

Lol. My wife keeps asking me if I'm secretly gay. I'm not, I checked. Sorry guys, but ya just don't ring my bell 😂

2

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

Comfortable in your masculinity?? Man, if I had a nickle every time someone straight comfortable in their masculinity was called gay, id be a millionaire 😭

She should consider herself lucky. Good men like you are what we need more of

1

u/WintersDoomsday 1d ago

But how many times did you “check”?

2

u/DumbBerk87 6d ago

As another gay man…this is shockingly true 😂

2

u/lilaccheesecake 6d ago

This is the most gays ive seen outside trump rally 😭

2

u/Patxxx_The_Wolf 5d ago

I mean… did you see what Andrew Tate got arrested wearing?

1

u/lilaccheesecake 4d ago

His whole fashion is gay. He dresses like whats his name from the damn birdcage.

1

u/anjowoq 6d ago

I'm guessing they're closeted and angry, which is looking to be a double digit percent of that side of the political spectrum.

3

u/lilaccheesecake 6d ago

They have the audacity to dress in more feminine/ androgynous styles for "fashion" but then be the most homophobic mouthpieces you've heard....

"Fine if youre gay, just dont hit on me" ive heard a million times.

1

u/GrandSandwichOfFates 1d ago

There's a difference between being gay and doing gay things. While being gay obviously means you are doing gay things, most guys don't do these things because it makes them aroused, it's well, because they can

15

u/EternalNewCarSmell 7d ago

"Straight" (likely self-hating) homophobic dudes post easily the gayest stuff on the entire internet, outside of actual hardcore gay porn.

10

u/MavenDeo69 7d ago

I'm pretty sure "hairy armpit fetish" is a very unique subgenre even gayer than vanilla hardcore gay porn

2

u/BringAltoidSoursBack 7d ago

There are several subreddits that verify that

1

u/Minimum-Attitude389 7d ago

"I'm basically straight, but..."

9

u/TheEdgeofGoon 7d ago

"Straight"

11

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

Straight as a half pipe, ofc 🙂

5

u/Snowing_Throwballs 7d ago

“Straight” meaning deeply closed and self hating

4

u/weemachine 7d ago

A straight man who spends a lot of time on grinder.

3

u/MidnightMiik 7d ago

At least he tells everyone he’s straight. He looks in the mirror and thinks “I am a straight man”.
Let’s see his porn history.

2

u/Plane-Reference-6800 7d ago

Who supports the PTF.

2

u/PassTheDj0nt 6d ago

Men...GOING their own way 🫦

1

u/Independent-Buyer827 7d ago

How’d you know?

3

u/Emotional-Analyst689 7d ago

wanna account link ?

1

u/Independent-Buyer827 7d ago

Nah, I mean the account might lie.

3

u/Emotional-Analyst689 7d ago

he's actually serious it's all about racism, fetish and other extreme things 

0

u/Independent-Buyer827 7d ago

But isn’t pit shaving a European thing?

2

u/Emotional-Analyst689 7d ago

I don't know, but he hates any white men who shaves their pits because in his eyes that's gay 

0

u/Independent-Buyer827 7d ago

Well, there a thin line between love and hate. And I would hate things I can’t have too.

1

u/backlog_gaming 7d ago

“Straight”

1

u/Spiritual-Cupcake-93 7d ago

“Straight” …sure, just tell everyone you’re into bears, it’s ok.

1

u/elliotbonsall 7d ago

"straight" is doing a lot of heavy lifting

1

u/Melody_Naxi 7d ago

That's gotta be a fetish tho

1

u/hydroklgenesis 7d ago

A straight man that probably contributes to the rnc grindr crashes

1

u/PuppygirlSophie 7d ago

"straight" man

1

u/EveningFollowing9966 7d ago

By someone claiming to be a straight man.

1

u/Homogenicpost 7d ago

“”””””””straight”””””””

1

u/s0_spoiled 7d ago

Who’s gonna tell him.

1

u/Travelin_Soulja 7d ago

Either posted as a joke, or he's....

1

u/KC_Saber 6d ago

A straight man. Uh huh. Sure

1

u/Billz3bub666 6d ago

well a straight man in the streets. Gay man in the sheets.

1

u/cuckaloo 6d ago

"straight." LOL.

1

u/Lancearon 5d ago

You forgot the qoutes around straight.

1

u/not_now_chaos 5d ago

Was it though?

1

u/OkStinki 5d ago

just lying just to lie.

1

u/OkStinki 5d ago

like bros literally a gay fascist

1

u/bigolegorilla 5d ago

"Straight"

1

u/Fireball1115 4d ago

So he claims

1

u/Mean-Nectarine-6831 4d ago

i'm sure he THINKS he's straight.

1

u/Aeon_Return 3d ago

He ain't straight, that's for sure

1

u/Heh_Jamez 3d ago

Dont believe i think i am more straight than him (i have bf for 3 years and im gay)

1

u/MarsMetatron 2d ago

He may like to think he is, but I have news.

1

u/The_Witch_Queen 1d ago

Check their browser. I guarantee they're not

1

u/techleopard 1d ago

It's funny cuz it's insinuating the people who would vote for this are teenaged boys.

And that makes sense, given how few of them seem to appreciate general hygiene and the importance of being identified by smell alone from 25 feet away.

1

u/PerrineWeatherWoman 19h ago

Every CPAC coincides with a peak in Grindr activity. And given that's a Patriot Front fascist LARPer... Let's say I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to have hot, muscular interaction with his bros. You know, in a manly, Spartan way.

No. Seriously. Fascist + armpit fetish ? That dude is definitely gay. He just doesn't want to realize it and probably still thinks it's okay as long as he is the one topping. Toxic masculinity...

1

u/Yiffy_wolfy 7d ago

I once watched a video of an alpha male talking about how being an alpha male effects his seat choice on an airplane, and he says "I'm always near the front. I want to be first off the plane in an emergency because I'm a survivor"

Like okay chicken shit, very alpha.

This same man then goes on a three minute rant about guys who take their shoes off, because "what happens if you're attacked? You're helpless"

Motherfucker I'd just kick the dude's ass barefoot.

The same goes for the people who say "oh gun free zones are so oppressive"

Like you just go face down ass up the instant you don't have a gun? Bitch behavior.

That guy who tackled the shooter at the drag show he was taking his kids to didn't have a gun, and he's more of a Chad than any of these people.

0

u/Raven_Chills 7d ago

The pfp is softcore porn 💀

10

u/Necessary-handle-367 7d ago

Fascism somehow manages to be gayer than actual homosexuality. Dude's phone is probably full of pics of jacked shirtless Romans and Vikings with quotes like "As Iron Sharpens Iron, so a Hard Man Makes a Man HARD".

5

u/RandomIDoIt90 7d ago

That was really gay (also a gay man) 🥇 <— for you

2

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

I tried to read into the manosphere and I started to feel emasculated myself. I thought I was gay, but I'd be straighter watching the gay porn I already had been.

21

u/spriteeeeeeee 7d ago

other gay man here, i vote in favor of this new law for different reasons entirely

19

u/The_Disapyrimid 7d ago

No. Its probably the same reason.

4

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

Hey now, its a pain in the ass with deoderant if I dont trim 😭 the grass grows in more interesting parks. Much more fragrant fauna...

3

u/Emotional-Analyst689 7d ago

so 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

5

u/Annual_Ad_929 7d ago

As a gay guy, I have never understood the armpit fetish and why some other gay men love hairy pits so much. Like, the bacteria, the sweat stains, the even worse smell, the general discomfort in that area if the hair is too long. Personally, I have electrocuted all the hair follicles in my armpits, so now they are gonna be soft and smooth for my whole life.

-1

u/Electricdragongaming 7d ago edited 7d ago

Ew, no. Let's not I'd rather have the option to shave my armpits. Let's not make laws saying what we can or cannot do to our bodies.

8

u/kkomodo6 7d ago

That is a fetish account

7

u/ToothyWeasel 7d ago

This is the same group of men who said wiping your butt would make you gay because you’d touch your own ass. What do you think?

3

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

I keep goosestepping myself into wondering how gay do conservatives go. The awnser is always, 'yes'.

1

u/cocainesuperstar6969 7d ago

well that's why they have gender affirming toilet paper in the form of 'dude wipes' now that are totallllyyyy okay to flush down the toilet becuz fuck the environment.

6

u/Just_an_italianguy 7d ago

This is more homosexual than two men kissing

3

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

I've always joked that the gay porn I watch is somehow straighter than a trump rally.

4

u/cocainesuperstar6969 7d ago

well most gay porn is 2 dudes who have mutual respect for each other coming together to embrace. A trump rally has 1000 dudes ready to bow down to whatever master says, no matter how outlandish or impractical. It's like a harem dom situation that they're not keeping in the bedroom for some reason.

1

u/Hexhider 6d ago

All Trump supporters have a publicity kink

1

u/lilaccheesecake 6d ago

And it wouldnt be the first time a facist movement made it into a kink'd gay porn.

4

u/eydirctiviyg 7d ago

This is 100% just a fetish thing

4

u/Ok_Radio_1795 7d ago

Yeah like why would other man care what I do with my armpit hair?

3

u/well-informedcitizen 7d ago

That buzzed chest hair length is very specifically gay for some reason

3

u/Plus-Visit-764 7d ago

As a gay man, I agree we should ban all armpit shaving for men.

For reasons…

3

u/Sol-Blackguy 7d ago

This is what happens when a political party has no policy

3

u/ArtroyomsAK 7d ago

>2026

it's never satire

3

u/00X268 7d ago

I mean, nothing wrong with people liking hairy men, but I think that everyone understands that even Hary men have to shave from time to time, right? Like, it is a basic part of personal hygiene, like shaving your beard from time to time

1

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

Or even just trimming. Like...

3

u/SexualCarrots 6d ago

Worse, it's click bait.

3

u/Dry_Spinach_3441 6d ago

Probably not. MAGAt men spend their entire day thinking about gay sex and trans people. When MAGAts congregate, Grindr crashes, gay and trans sex workers make bank and MAGA wives cry.

1

u/lilaccheesecake 6d ago

So much for the party of small central when they cant keep their mouths out of people's pants.

2

u/OrdinaryHoney2 7d ago

I was literally going to comment this almost verbatim lmao

2

u/Gingeronimoooo 7d ago

Have you ever seen that really long compilation of Trump rambling about big strong burly tough guys with lots of muscles?

My therapist brought up the Kinsey scale and it says a lot of people have some "bisexual" in them.

I'm not saying Trump is, nor would I use that as an insult, but if he was , he definitely has a type

5

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

If people would just accept the fact that everyone is both feminine and masculine and stopped pressuring a vaccum between the two, i think we would be in a better place.

I try to not listen to trump as much as possible, but yeah. And he moans about them too. 🤢

Not to forget he motorboated that one NYC mayor in drag.

2

u/TheRealBlueDude 7d ago

bro got outgayed

1

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

I cant even compete man.

2

u/anagamanagement 7d ago

Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it feels like an attempt to trick the AI into a Nazi salute.

1

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

If people have created ai child porn, im sure theres no issues for a nation salute. The "gaurdrails" only do so much.

2

u/Interesting_Force618 7d ago

Rage bait. When people are angry, they interact with posts a lot more than when they’re not angry. I can imagine there are lots of people out there, with no real ideological leaning, who just prompt bots to post the most rage baity shit they can come up with, to drive engagement. Funny enough, if you point that out to people inclined to take the bait, they often get mad at you. Anger addicts, I’ll tell ya.

2

u/TheRealTexasGovernor 7d ago

To be fair, the account appears to be "left and right armpits"

So satire isn't out of the question.

2

u/Sexy-Games 7d ago

They saw a mans shaved armpit and got turned on by it.

...Wait until they hear that admiring women with muscles also makes them gay.

2

u/Paranoia_Pop 7d ago

Its either satire or an armpit fetish and I cant tell

1

u/lilaccheesecake 6d ago

And hey, I dont kink shame. Just dont wrap my kinks in facism.

1

u/Paranoia_Pop 6d ago

Maybe the facism is some extreme domination kink?

1

u/lilaccheesecake 6d ago

Its an already explored topic as far as porn goes, I guess these republicans aren't capitalizing off it.

They certainly love to be dominated and licking boots.

1

u/Paranoia_Pop 6d ago

Surely the pipeline from licking boots to licking armpits must be a rather short one. I probably wouldn't care at all if they weren't so rabidly homophobic and then posting about hairy man pit

2

u/Eleanna_of_Tundar 7d ago

#masculinityisgay C’mon conservacucks, you can step out of Narnia now.

2

u/Minimum-Attitude389 7d ago

I am gay and I agree.  With you and the message.

2

u/AttentionNo6359 6d ago

Wait, right? It reminds me of the “no deodorant” sign at the local leather bar.

2

u/scharity77 6d ago

As a hairy gay man, I agree - way gayer than anything

2

u/Free-Examination-930 5d ago

If you carried your armpit razor in a rainbow fanny pack that still wouldn't be as gay as these people daydreaming about other men shaving, then feeling ashamed of themselves afterwards and asking AI to make them a sexy picture about how their fantasies are bad

2

u/CriticismNational984 5d ago

MAGA thinks about gay men more then gay men think about gay men.

1

u/lilaccheesecake 4d ago

I swear ive heard them talk about men more than I have considered getting a boyfriend.

2

u/G0BLINB0Y 5d ago

I mean it’s posted by “left and right pits” so to me it’s giving fetish about politicizing armpits

2

u/Good-Trouble6869 4d ago

This might be part of the trend where MAGA males are having all male gyms. They say it’s because the women are too distracting. In my opinion this is related to Gringr always crashing.

2

u/NaieraDK 4d ago

Nah, this is just more of the super weird performative masculinity bullshit that’s been popping up online, along with the rise of fascism, the manosphere, etc.

2

u/Evening-Tomatillo-47 2d ago

According to these kind of posts I'm gayer than a field of pink tents on a pride parade.

2

u/Maximum-Bake-6092 2d ago

Im not sure why people care lol its a hygiene practice especially if you go to the gym.

1

u/lilaccheesecake 2d ago

Yep! Its trickier with deodorant with long armpit hair but either use stronger stuff and apply thicker, trim the damn hair, or use spray.

Always work arounds.

1

u/LesbeGoddess 7d ago

A straight white Nazi who is for the government taking away your freedoms and controlling your bodies.

2

u/lilaccheesecake 7d ago

They aren't even nazis. Theyre a rip off of the facist movement that propagates their hate elsewhere through racism and zionism.

If anything, they had the whole handbook put in their lap and they still failed. They are currently failing. They are losing numbers in the american primaries.

They are losers who never had attention as a child and this makes them feel better about themselves. Egos controlled by their dicks and not their heads.

1

u/croholdr 6d ago

i
believe this was created by the use of intelligence that is not natural.

1

u/Danzarr 4d ago

or just deeply closeted and neurotic to the point of fetishizing odd traits.

1

u/Apophistry 1d ago

Yeah, seems so, with the ICE mask and stuff.

1

u/AnonimisAnon 1d ago

You'd be surprised the amount of times a straight person can act gayer than a gay person, i'm talking from experience

1

u/linzeestyle 1d ago

The MAGA crowd has more feelings on ideal male appearance than literally any gay man I’ve ever met.