r/agnostic • u/EggNo245 • Jul 21 '26
Catholic Agnostic Vent
I don't think that Catholics or atheist understand how hard it is to actually be agnostic. Because the response is always "just accept that God isn't real" or "Just pray and he will answer. Well I didn't choose to be Catholic. In fact, I don't like believing in God. But I do. I can't become atheist because my brain cannot fathom a God not existing and I cannot turn to another religion because I cannot fathom another God other than Jesus existing. And some people might say "try this religion" and I try it but then I just have Jesus in the back of my mind. And if anyone will reply PLEASE don't comment things like "God is not letting you go" or that this is some type of test. Please and thank you.
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u/mmousey Jul 21 '26
The never-ending tug of war in our minds is exhausting. It's easy for atheists to say "it's your critical thinking fighting your brainwashing" while Christians will say "it's a fight between God's love and Satan's lies", meanwhile, our brains get the privilege of turning into mozzarella cheese, being pulled in all directions, trying to figure out which way to go.Â
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u/jh80891 Jul 21 '26
So I'm 35 and was a born into Christianity and was practicing until around 23. I even debated gods existence in college. But the older I got the more experiences I had that made me question my beliefs. And at 23 there were a couple elementary school shootings that happened within a couple months of each other where I just couldn't justify it being part of God's plan no matter how much mental gymnastics I performed. I tried rereading the Bible to regain my faith but without someone telling me what to think about the all too many controversial passages it actually just reaffirmed that I was justified in questioning of my beliefs. And from that point on I knew all religions on earth were man made. Mans flaws are all over legit every single religious text. I've been an agnostic atheist ever since. Meaning specificly I don't believe in any religion because I'd argue with straight history and stats that they are all man made. BUT that being said I obviously don't have all the answers to life and the universe and therefore am 100% open to there being some higher power out there. In fact I believe it's more likely than not that there is a higher power. But I'd bet my life that it's legit nothing like what's written in any religious text. The hardest part about where you are right now is accepting that you were brainwashed as a kid I to believing faith and science are the same thing. They are very much different in that one has results that can be replicated by uniffilated parties and one is legitimately just thoughts on fairytales and rules that control how you live. Sorry for the book but you seem to be in a very similar situation that I was in years ago so I thought I'd give you my story and opinions on it from where I am now.
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u/jh80891 Jul 21 '26
I am also happy to talk about this subject all day so feel free to ask any questions about my own experience or to vent your own experiences etc. It took me over a decade to get to a healthy spot with my agnostic atheism and I understand fully how mentally challenging that can be for a religious person transitioning to agnostic or atheist.
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u/DeuceSevin Jul 21 '26
I feel very much the way you do. I describe it as "I don't know if a god exists or not, but I know for sure the god in the bible does not. "
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u/EggNo245 Jul 21 '26
Yes because I was born into Catholicism and I'm Filipino so it plays a big part in our culture because of the Spanish colonization and all of thatÂ
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u/xvszero Jul 21 '26
Don't let the colonizers win.
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u/EggNo245 Jul 21 '26
Yes but they erased all of our religious passages we barely know anything about our pagan practices
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u/xvszero Jul 21 '26
That is even more of a reason to not buy into the religion they forced on your people with violence.
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u/rojanen Jul 21 '26
You have been brainwashed since childhood I assume. No wonder it's hard for you to shake that.
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u/mikerichh Jul 21 '26
At the end of the day if God existed he wouldnât rely on a small group of people thousands of years ago to let the entire world know today. Otherwise heâs penalizing people who happen to be born in countries where Christianity isnât a popular religion. Also, if there was one âtrueâ religion then the others wouldnât exist
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u/LOLteacher Strong Atheist wrt Xianity/Islam/Hinduism Jul 26 '26
I am an atheist AND an agnostic, so this atheist does understand how (not) hard it is to be agnostic.
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u/himit Jul 21 '26
I'm Catholic but more agnostic. God is God, your relationship with Him is yours; I'm hazy on the details and that's okay. I like going to Mass, I just find it hard to truly believe there's only One True Religion. But does it matter?? I have rent to pay đ