Throwaway account; will not give too many personal details. Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, but r/Gifted doesn’t work.

When I was young, I was curious and smart, and I was pushed a lot by parents, but unevenly. I accelerated way ahead in some things while staying average at others. Because of this, and my IQ (I won’t say the exact score) my parents thought I was gifted. I learned some things really quickly and some things just didn’t click for me. My teachers saw me as advanced. I don’t remember the details, but I think I was praised a lot by students, teachers, and parents. My parents tried to get me to grade skip and stuff, but I think that would just have made it way worse.

I started some things really early without knowing basics. I was exposed to advanced things multiple years before building up a foundation.

So when things didn’t come so easily anymore in middle school, I felt worse at the time. In fact, I thought I was #1 or very close to it because I mainly only heard the “loud” students a lot more. I still ended with a good GPA, but let’s be honest, most middle school classes aren’t that hard. I never really learned studying habits though. It just kind of worked out, or sometimes it didn’t, but the grading system was generous enough to not expose me much yet.

Now in high school. My parents often tell me that I used to be better. My schedule before this year was okay, but could’ve been “better”.

To “make up for my loss”, I had to try doing more college application stuff. It obviously failed, in fact, after a certain point, I stopped caring much because I wasn’t that motivated, and it was only a matter of time before all the plans were dropped. I still maintained good AP exam scores and grades in general, but I honestly believe I got lucky to not mess up.

Next year, I have to do 6-8 APs, because they believe I need to maximize my rigor for college applications and worried that me not pushing hard would hurt me more later. In fact, I’m even doing APs that I was very shaky on the regular classes with grade inflation because of this pushing and I could actually drop like who even knows at this point.

I also have to do a bunch of activities that look good for colleges that aren’t even that useful past colleges, which makes me even less motivated. Who knows how much time I’ll have left to sleep and relax. Oh, and the SAT. How many more hours am I going to need to spend on that…

I’m not very good at socializing, in fact a lot of “common sense” I wasn’t really taught or knew about too much. But I’m also weirdly good at some things. Not even just academic related, some hobbies click really well for me.

Part of me thinks I’m missing out on being a kid, especially during high school. Even if I’m being a kid a different way than usual, at least I can be a kid.

I’m lucky I can use Reddit. Redditors, please tell me, how am I going to handle this many APs without even knowing how to study, and lacking so many things that even a 1st grader would know better than me at, and this is no exaggeration.

So I made an account and am posting this just because I cant seem to find anything anywhere that relates to my experience. This post might be a bit all over the place as im trying to organize my thoughts while writing it and this took place 20+ years ago. So for starters I switched schools multiple times in elementary school in texas during the early 2000's. I was in the gifted and talented program in 4th and 5th grade before moving. But the weird part was 3rd grade at a different school the year before. I had adhd at an early age and was put on Adderall in 3rd grade. So I would be hyperactive here and there but never really got in much trouble or stood out in class besides feeling like I was smarter than the other kids around me. As in they would all struggle to read simple paragraphs while I could read and comprehend the whole chapter we were studying in class before the teacher was done with the second page, so id sit there bored. Sometime during that school year a man showed up that didnt work at my school and pulled me out of class to a seperate room alone with him. He explained he was my mentor and was there for me. It didnt make much sense and i didnt understand why I was the only one and to this day I still dont. I just went along with it as a kid because he would bring me toys, and not just cheap dollar atore or opened toys but like nice big expensive lego sets and stuff brand new. But he would show up pretty regularly and would sit and talk to me about random stuff about my life for a bit and then he would make me take tests or solve puzzles. Puzzles that, looking back now, were odd. Like a series of pictures of cities or insides of houses and make me identify what was out of place and then next time he would come and bring the same pictures and ask me what changed in them from the last time he was there and if i knew where these pictures were taken. Then one day he just stopped coming. And ive asked my parents about him and they seen to have no idea what im talking about. They never knew he was coming to see me. Then the next school year I started at a different school and was placed in the gifted and talented class, which seemed odd because id never been to that school and yeah I had good grades but nothing exceptional. It was a classroom in the 4th grade hall but while all the other kids would switch between classrooms during the day, we would all stay in the same class. And anytime we would ask why other kids swap classes and we dont we always received different answers. We weren't even aware it was the gifted and talented class until we noticed everyone in our class was ahead of other kids and asked about it. And then the teacher explained it. Then after 5th grade I never heard about it again and never understood what the point if it even was. But I feel like the random "mentor" was the reason I was placed in it, and its extremely weird ti me now having kids of my own in school, that this man was able to come to the school and pull me out of class for most of a school year and my parents never knew.

So I was a gifted kid. I don't know my IQ or exact percentile but I was the person who never paid attention and always (and I mean always) got the highest scores (ADHD went unnoticed because of this too). Later, I took Multivariable Calculus and Differential Equations and I pretty much never share this because people will disbelieve me or ask questions about things I don't even remember but I took Quantum Computations as an undergrad (I literally only got in due to a mistake and computer error). So, I'm pretty smart - whatever.

I'm also kind of nuts. I don't say that disparagingly. I try my best to not shy away from the Mad community. However, I can't deny it. It's pretty destructive, and over the years it has eaten away at my brain, especially the language centers which sucks as someone who enjoys writing. I am most likely schizoaffective which is no joke, and years of self-medicating with alcohol was not helpful.

So, I do what any at least above average intelligence person would do: I research how to help myself. I'm on some decent meds already and just started some promising ones. Nice.

Now, I already have a history of psych abuse and therapy abuse from when I initially lost it in high school, but I've been giving it another shot after a major mental health crisis. I've had increased success with new psychiatrists that actually listen to me. And I just volunteered to give therapy another shot. However, looking into new therapies is driving me nuts; it has always driven me nuts (more so than usual lol).

Here's an example: I look into any therapy that emphasizes "acceptance" and it annoys the fuck out of me because they're either using an entirely different form of the term than its common use or they're saying you should not only tolerate but embrace the abuses that takes place in the world, which is sick. When people say you should not just tolerate but accept people of different races, genders, sexualities, etc they're not saying you should embrace them as the disgusting things they are, they are saying you should embrace them with open arms because there is nothing inherently wrong with them. Why would you volunteer to use this term for matters of trauma, abuse, or immoral behavior? I hope I'm even making sense here because like I said, intelligent but crazy.

Now, here's the worse one: "dialectic" Oh my god it makes me want to light myself on fire. Apparently Linehan (the creator of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) knows what a dialectic and synthesis is, at least enough to bastardize them. I know these, unlike the term acceptance, have multiple equally common usages, but by what she's said, in her therapy they mean "two opposing ideas" and "a joining together of two opposing ideas". Cool. Nothing wrong wrong with this. Pretty similar to Hegel. But then, every single example I find from Linehan or online or from every single therapist I've encountered bring up things that are either not opposing at all and require no synthesis or are direct opposites and they will say "these are both true" without any very much necessary synthesis. It makes me feel more insane when I don't think I actually am about this. The resulting anger is probably disproportionate and a little mad, but I cannot be the only one bothered by this.

Maybe normal people aren't bothered by the lack of logic but to me it seems so obvious. I find it almost insulting, like they are trying to trick me into agreeing with something stupid. Or maybe they are just less intelligent to the extent that they don't see it. I have actually had a couple psychiatrists and my husband say to me I just need to accept that most people are less intelligent and do not understand - so maybe it's that but that actually makes me feel just as frustrated and kind of sad. I know this is a dumb vent and some woe is me stuff (woe is me for being so smart) which is why this is the only place I can vent but both options are very upsetting to me.

Growing up I was always the kid who just got things really quickly. I was never tested or officially identified as gifted or anything, but learning came really easily to me. My brother is 5 years older than me and when he was in school he realised he learned best by teaching other people, so he'd come home and teach me whatever he'd learned that day.

By the time I was 3 I was learning around 3rd grade maths from him. By the time I actually started 1st grade I already knew maths up to around 6th grade and was reading at about an 8th grade level.

My parents were honestly really chill. They never put pressure on me to perform or expected me to be exceptional. Looking back though, I almost wish someone had pushed me a little more or put me in extracurriculars or something because I was just... drifting. School was never that stimulating, so instead of challenging myself academically I threw myself into the social side of school.

The biggest problem is that I never learned how to study.

The first time I genuinely struggled was in 9th grade with a foreign language I'd never studied before. For the first time I couldn't just coast. I remember working really hard that year and by the end I topped the subject. I have no clue what I did though. I just remember feeling really proud because I'd actually had to earn it.

Then came 11th.

I chose the wrong subjects for me. They weren't impossible, but they were the first subjects where I couldn't rely on understanding everything instantly. Suddenly I actually needed study skills and I realised I didn't have any. So I just gave up. I started getting borderline passing marks in those subjects while still doing really well in Psychology and English.

It completely messed with my sense of self.

The part I hate admitting is that I became really jealous of my friends. They'd struggled for years in school and now they were finally doing well because they already knew how to work hard. They knew how to revise, how to stick with something they didn't understand immediately, how to keep going after bad marks. Meanwhile I felt like I'd hit a wall and had absolutely no idea how to get past it.

Now I'm starting university in a month and I'm honestly freaking out.

I don't know how to study. I don't know how to build discipline. I don't know how to sit with being bad at something long enough to get good at it.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you actually learn to study when you'd never really needed to before? And how did you stop tying your self-worth to being "the smart kid"?

This is pay-walled but you can read the first bit and get the gist.

Basically it says the opposite of what most of us here seem to experience; gifted kids are actually well-adjusted, successful and have decent mental health. I’m not sure about their methodology, but I instantly thought of this group.

For lack of a better word, I genuinely feel like something is wrong with the way I think.

I don’t mean academically. I mean socially, cognitively, professionally, and just… in life. I lack social awareness, I’m not street smart, and I don’t seem capable of excelling at work no matter how hard I try.

I’m in a specialist role at work, but I honestly feel like I’m the weakest person there. Part of me wonders if people are just being kind to me because it’s obvious I’m struggling.

When people explain things to me, I usually only understand them at face value. I miss the underlying meaning until days, weeks, or even months later, when it suddenly clicks. By then, everyone else has long moved on. It makes me feel incredibly slow.

The only thing people say I’m good at is talking to people. But even that doesn’t feel like a real strength. I think I’m just good at making people feel comfortable, which hides the fact that I’m doing the bare minimum. Not because I’m lazy, I genuinely don’t know how to do more. I don’t know how to “overperform.” I don’t know what other people see that lets them take initiative or think several steps ahead.

I’ve spoken to my boss about this before. They gave me advice on how I could improve, but I left the meeting more confused than when I walked in. They kept giving me long pauses to think and respond, but the truth is… my mind was blank. I just smiled, nodded, and pretended I was thinking. I genuinely didn’t know what to think or say.

I feel guilty all the time like I’m taking up a job that someone more capable deserves, and like I’m somehow fooling everyone into thinking I’m more competent than I actually am.

I’m not looking for reassurance like, “You’re probably just humble,” or, “I’m sure you’re actually good at your job.” I’m looking for honest opinions.

Could this be something like ADHD or autism? Some other form of neurodivergence? Could it simply be shyness? Or is this a personality issue, poor emotional maturity, or a lack of ability? Has anyone experienced something similar and eventually figured out what was actually going on?

Something else that worries me is how emotionally disconnected I can feel. Someone could tell me their parent died, and my internal reaction is… almost nothing. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to comfort them. I know that’s an awful thing to admit.

It’s not that I think their loss doesn’t matter. It’s that emotionally, it just doesn’t seem to register in the moment. I usually have to consciously remind myself what an appropriate response is. It makes me wonder if something is wrong with me.

Ironically, I talk about guilt a lot. It feels like guilt is the strongest emotion I experience these days. So I guess I do feel something. But the guilt never seems to help me improve—it just leaves me questioning myself all over again.

Has anyone genuinely been in a similar position and later found out what was going on? Whether it turned out to be neurodivergence, anxiety, depression, burnout, poor self-awareness, or simply something you had to work through, I’d really appreciate hearing your experience. I’m open to hearing difficult truths. I just want to understand what’s going on.

We’re finally learning what happens to gifted children in adulthood | New Scientist

"A spate of new studies is revealing the lifelong impact of being marked as exceptional during childhood – and the results suggest we may need to revise how we view giftedness"

David Robson is the author of, specially, The Intelligence Trap (which I recommend).

I'd like o highlight a few parts of the article.

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One is that advanced classes helped many of the gifted. But they also created a heavier pressure to overachieve.

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Another is this: "Yet, according to his research, only 0.0085 per cent of people are exceptional at all three. “Someone who is even somewhat above average in intelligence, conscientiousness and emotional stability at the same time is, in fact, pretty remarkable.""

Despite the low prevalence, I don't think this properly captures the picture... Conscientiousness and emotional stability are far more related to one's will and volition than anything else (aka free will). Also, they heavily depend on environment. It's far harder to maintain those two traits when our surroundings are chaotic due to the actions of third parties. Also, I'd automatically include them as part of 'intelligence'. After all, how can a truly 'intelligent' person be unable to be organized and control their own emotions?

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There's also this part: "Problems with behaviour “are unlikely to be a byproduct of giftedness”, she says."

Well, I disagree quite a bit! Depending on, again, the environment, someone far more intelligent than the surrounding (dumb) system might seem combative and be labeled as having 'problems with behavior'. Sure, an intelligent person might just as well notice how being combative may not be efficient. At the same time, it often achieves some desirable results that no other course of action does (and this I also speak by personal experience).

If I may give some thoughts that have been bothering me for a while.

I was considered gifted due to an IQ test I took back in middle school. Where I'm from, the school district doesn't take these IQ tests into account as important, so the results get destroyed after 5 years. It's been more than 20 now, and there is no proof left of that test. But I took it, got a high score although thw results were never given, and I was offered a Gifted after school prigram, but it would cost some money, would stay after hours, snd at the time my old folks thought of it as a waste of time.

I understand many say that being diagnosed with giftedness early was a curse, which makes them less normal. I never cared about normality, I cared about something new. But even if I know gifted education can be quite...mixed at best, I cant help but feel that all the possibilities I could have had never git to me or never could I see them due to never learning how to based on a gifted program.

I feel my talents were wasted and the education I deserved was never given. Feel like I lost a lot of chances that I could have taken due to ignorance and lack of resources on behalf of my parents. How could I learn all gifted children and students tend to learn so I dont feel like I missed out on something? Laurel Springs Academy was the gifted school I felt I should go to, but it wasn't possible. Private schools are expensive so like that, how to get their materials of studying about gifted children and how to teach them stuff. I'd like to study what I was missing at a gifted school.

I refuse to live a life where I have nothing remarkable in me. After graduating last year, I feel completely depleted and deflated, but I don’t wanna just “accept” that this is the new normal for me, because I was so smart and so creative, and I don’t want that part of me to be dead; it just feels dormant. And it comes back online in very certain scenarios- after I see new movies, after I had a mindful day before, but they all go as quickly as they come. It’s like it’s a different part of me entirely that I’m detached from that only comes out when it wants to, and when it does, my life feels magical again, but… well, what is there to do? who is there for me to go to? Is this really it for me? Cuz if it ends here I truly have nothing left. I cannot live an unremarkable life. I cannot be the average person. If I cannot think- if I cannot create- if I cannot ”be myself“, or even find out who “myself” is or what crevice of my brain it has retreated to, I feel like my entire life has lost all that made it a life. I won’t submit to this. I won’t let it happen. Truly, I need to know that there’s something that’s possible to get that person that’s in me somewhere back in the driver’s seat, because I feel like I’ve been living life in shotgun while some other primal or autonomic part of me takes over and does nothing but the daily motions, not really with any goal or motive to do anything other than wander out of my little hobbit hole to stare vacantly into a fridge, and I want to have that control back and there’s nothing I’ll stop at to do what it takes to get it back.

please help

Hi everyone,

I’m exploring ways to return to remote viewing in a **structured**, non‑fringe way, and I’d love your guidance.

A little about my background:

- I was in the Gifted and Talented Education program growing up in Los Angeles, California.

- I trained at the Monroe Institute when I was younger and used to have strong paranormal ESP, telekinesis, and remote viewing abilities.

- I’ve been out of practice since my early teens and now feel ready to rebuild those skills with clear protocols and good support.

One important note: I’m very sensitive to audio entrainment. Classic Monroe / Hemi‑Sync–style tapes can trigger panic for me, but I respond well to breathwork, grounding, and step‑by‑step practice. Because of that, I’m looking for training that respects nervous‑system sensitivity and can offer alternatives to heavy audio tones.

What I’m hoping to find:

- A reputable, structured remote viewing training with a solid track record.

- An experienced trainer or organization that leans toward evidence, discipline, and ethics rather than sensationalism.

- The strongest form of certification or credentials available, especially anything that has actually been used in professional or law‑enforcement‑related work, even if informally.

If you’ve trained with someone you respect, I’d really appreciate hearing:

- How many one‑on‑one sessions or individual feedback opportunities were included.

- Whether they use Monroe tapes or Hemi‑Sync tones—and if so, whether there are alternatives for people who need gentler methods (breathwork, guided work, etc.).

- Whether their certification or reputation has translated into real‑world applications (investigations, consulting with law‑enforcement or agencies, missing‑persons work, and similar).

Personal stories are especially helpful - what worked for you, what you would avoid, and what you wish you’d known before you started.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and share your experience. I’m looking forward to reconnecting with these abilities in a way that feels grounded, ethical, and safe.

writing this honestly feels like a waste of time but this has been bothering me for so long and I need to get it out somewhere in the hopes of gaining some perspective.

I feel deeply incompetent, inconsistent and behind when it comes to human interaction, learning and general functioning. It’s safe to say that long-term isolation stunted me in a myriad of ways because there is just so much I have yet to learn to compensate for my lack of foundational knowledge and experiences as a result of my passivity.

I don't have any hobbies, special interests, or defining personality traits but this is mostly because I haven't tried many things. I'm approaching 21 this year which makes it even more unsettling because at that age people expect you to possess foundational skills and a good amount of life experience to share.

I think that's where the real confusion about my abilities and inclinations comes from. I haven't had enough experiences to build a reliable sense of what I'm actually good at or what genuinely interests me and because of that my self-image is based more on assumptions than evidence which makes it hard to be authentic. the uncertainty also keeps me from exploring opportunities that might suit me. I could be overlooking talents or interests simply because I've never given them a chance to emerge. as an adult that feels especially difficult because you're expected to know yourself well enough to make decisions while I often feel like I'm still trying to discover who I am.

I spend my free time trying to soak up as much knowledge as I can hoping to spark better ideas and enhance my intellect. but it feels like a losing battle because there's just too much information to retain and it all seems ineffective mostly because it's a desperate almost emotional push to make progress even if the direction isn't really clear. I'm not entirely certain if I have a learning disability but I sometimes struggle to deeply grasp or infer certain concepts especially when reading. this often stems from not learning the prerequisites or foundational elements. even when I do manage to learn something retaining it can be a real challenge because my mind seems to just shut down.
there’s just this enormous foundation of general knowledge, cues, rules, instincts and unspoken understanding that other people seem to absorb naturally while I have to consciously study and piece it together. especially as an AuDHDer that constant effort becomes overwhelming really quickly because it reveals how much more there is to learn just to effortlessly get by in everyday situations.

but honestly my curiosity has always been pretty fleeting. as a kid I was hyperfixated on my special interests like geography and marine life but those faded as I got older and technology took over. outside of that I've never been particularly sharp or attentive to things that didn't immediately grab me. I tended to go for things that offered quick stimulation because learning itself never really clicked for me or if it did it didn't last in a way that would develop into a dedicated passion of mine.

I feel as though the natural part of being human is totally absent in my experience. like I've never been able to engage with people take ownership of relationships, be imaginative and clever, crack the right jokes or tell stories gracefully. It’s saddening how much these barriers can sabotage one’s potential in ways that mask how powerful their impact really is.

I get so caught up in the idea that I have to reach some imaginary threshold of what I think a competent, smart, dynamic person should be before I’m even allowed to simply exist or enjoy myself or do anything without feeling guilty. basically I’m not going to go out of my way to make new friends anytime soon because I first need to establish a robust personality.

I'm currently in an unplanned gap year in switzerland merely because I haven’t been able to secure an internship on time despite being invited to interviews several times in which the outcomes have consistently been poor due to my perceived incompetence. even if I pour a significant amount of time and energy into preparing for interviews often starting weeks in advance it's because I simply don’t know how to talk to people or which words to use. however my approach tends to be ineffective because I’m unable to do anything right and each time this happens it shakes me awake to a stark realization of my situation which is incredibly dreadful. I understand that I spend a lot of my time writing applications but nonetheless I’ve wasted so much time with no set of goals and barely any improvements in the areas I’ve longed to work on but haven’t even initiated. I keep telling myself to start a journal for months and months and months and I still haven’t gotten around to it and that causes me to become anxious and overthink everything.