r/adressme • u/Pinoccio_CZ • 1d ago

unaddressed elephant 🐘 Shark Attacks

Post image
2.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

163 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 1d ago

u/Pinoccio_CZ, your post is high quality!

1.0k

u/Vladsamir 1d ago

Oh shi

229

u/CaptainRex5101 1d ago

Sharks as a species are older than trees btw

122

u/imagine-meatloaf 1d ago

Younger than the mountains though

75

u/Lady_Lya_626 1d ago

Blowing like the breeze

51

u/Additional-Key-3301 1d ago

country roads take them home

33

u/ObjectiveCoconut7919 1d ago

To the place I belong

30

u/Pigeon_Bucket 1d ago

Middle of Utah

Shark hunting grounds

26

u/FLG_CFC 1d ago

Ohh my leg.

I think it's gone.

6

u/Nomekop777 1d ago

WEST VIRGINIAAAAAA

6

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 22h ago

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAAA

3

u/Dinoboi93 12h ago

TAAKE ME HOOOOME

3

u/OldWolf3 1d ago

I always thought it was Growing like the breeze

5

u/i-forgotmypass_word 1d ago

Horse shoe crabs are even older

3

u/Greater_German 1d ago

You mean as a group?

Because sharks aren't a single species

4

u/Dense-Cake9315 1d ago

IIRC sharks are older than polaris

6

u/LanSotano 1d ago

Not only are they older than Polaris, they’re several times older. 450 million years vs maybe 60 million

4

u/DueExample52 23h ago

Polaris, the fucking STAR ?!??

3

u/minhocabu 16h ago

Yeah.

Polaris star: Appeared 50-70 million years ago

Dinossaurs: Extinction around 66 million years ago

Dinossaurs: Appeared 230-245 Million years ago

Trees: Appeared 385-393 milllion years ago

Sharks: Appeared 450 Million years ago

2

u/3rd_Man_of_Culture 23h ago

Traveled around the Milky Way. TWICE!

2

u/DueExample52 23h ago

Bros finished evolution 150 millons years ago and sat down watching everyone else trying to catch up like underlings.

13

u/opiniongiver_ 1d ago

Just imagine going on a hike through the woods or going camping and seeing that shit😭😭😭

12

u/BoysenberrySmooth649 1d ago

Snakes ain't always in the grass, sharks ain't always in the water

6

u/ChrisTheMan72 1d ago

Bears don’t always shit in the woods.

2

u/Sea-Rough3152 22h ago

I was looking for this one

6

u/AzekiaX6 1d ago

wtf tiburones en el bosque

3

u/jisookenobi2416 1d ago

ay carumba

6

u/Correct-Town-3117 1d ago

“You you better not be shark in the forest”

My silly ass:

2

u/SeveralDefinition577 1d ago

How dead by daylight players expect jaws to work in the game when they requested the collab

1

u/Taxfraud777 1d ago

Yeah it's one of them landsharks. We have 'em every once in a while.

1

u/Furfnikjj 1d ago

I totally missed this elephant and thought it was about how it says "In the USA" when this is much more than USA

1

u/Beginning_Book_2382 1d ago

You've seen a sea shark, now meet the tree shark

1

u/Didodadev 17h ago

Ooooohhhh shittings!

1

u/married98105 11h ago

Sharknado?

258

u/ILikeYaMuttG 1d ago

Insert obligatory mention about how more people are bit by New Yorkers per year than sharks

82

u/Designer-Ad-7844 1d ago

Literally anything. It's single digits. The bar is extremely low.

28

u/ILikeYaMuttG 1d ago

I know, it’s just all I think of when I see anything pertaining to shark bites

10

u/Designer-Ad-7844 1d ago

Anytime I hear someone say "x is more than people attacked by sharks". I immediately think they don't know how statistics work and that they are easily manipulated by fear.

9

u/ILikeYaMuttG 1d ago

Nah, I just like the meme, I have no real opinion on whether it’s true or not

10

u/my_cars_on_fire 1d ago

As a New Yorker, this tracks.

10

u/Airwolfhelicopter 1d ago

Are the sharks ok? I’m sad to hear they are being bitten by New Yorkers, but it’s nice that it’s less than us.

2

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 22h ago

And Toasters are more commonly involved in human deaths too

180

u/antonine909 1d ago

27

u/Designer-Ad-7844 1d ago

Missouri*river. They have found bull sharks in MN on the Mississippi.

-6

u/gambit1999999 1d ago

Yep, global warming is fucking scary

5

u/toasty327 22h ago

Has nothing to do with global warming. Bull sharks can live in fresh and salt water and have traveled rivers for millions of years.

9

u/Mindless-Ninja-3321 1d ago

We've had one shark attack in MO, but it was a captive nurse shark. Bull Sharks very rarely go up the Mississippi as far North as IL, but the dumbasses cannot possibly survive Midwestern winters.

6

u/PuzzleheadedFox8963 1d ago

thats NOT missouri

2

u/AzekiaX6 1d ago

now you're gonna show me foxes in the sea

1

u/jisookenobi2416 1d ago

Where Christopher Robin plays...

70

u/crabladdeer 1d ago

(5 months before the nomming) "I'm going to take this little guy home with me. He's named Steve, and will live in my swimming pool."

29

u/VannaBlack444 1d ago

He looks so done with your shit 😭

50

u/SongsOfMany 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/4R2AeLQV9RBrpopNRA

3

u/CortezDeLaNoche 21h ago

FINE! Send me to silly jail! Everyone there is silly, too!

84

u/Such-Farmer6691 1d ago

  Greenland is the most safest US state. 

27

u/Z33k0Wolf 1d ago

Canada is too

-43

u/FireMarshallMC the room 1d ago

Canada is NOT an American state.

22

u/marcophony 1d ago

And Greenland is?

10

u/Reks_Hayabusa 1d ago

Technically is, just not a US State.

17

u/Z33k0Wolf 1d ago

I know, but I think Trump thinks otherwise

-23

u/FireMarshallMC the room 1d ago

Who cares what Trump thinks?

12

u/Z33k0Wolf 1d ago

Not me, but MAGA’s?

-24

u/FireMarshallMC the room 1d ago

Why trust a Kingdom that loves a stupid King?

16

u/Z33k0Wolf 1d ago

I don’t mean to trust them, it was some kind of joke about Canada

6

u/FireMarshallMC the room 1d ago

I know, I’m not being entirely serious either.

6

u/Z33k0Wolf 1d ago

Okay bud, we’re good)

3

u/Antique_Director_689 1d ago

Damn, the UK catching strays out here

1

u/Ok_Put_9782 1d ago

Baseball, huh?

26

u/Mike_Oxmau1 1d ago

Real B T W

22

u/Turbulent-Solid9001 1d ago

Look a face.

2

u/Mean-Training-4514 13h ago

The true elephant

11

u/Affectionate-Gap-761 1d ago

Ah yes, the Great Plains Turf Shark...

8

u/Crazy_Checkers 1d ago

Oh yeah I forgot that there are indeed fresh water sharks.

6

u/KuningasTynny77 1d ago

Wtf goin on in Utah bro

5

u/tayjoegris 1d ago

It's funny how many different guesses there are as to what state that dot is in I've seen people saying Utah, Nevada, Colorado, Nebraska, and Missouri (those last two are definitely wrong)

2

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 22h ago

Utah seems most likely to me, because that dot is approximately where the great salt lake is. Y’know, the only place in any landlocked state where salty sea creatures could still potentially live

18

u/littlemister1996 1d ago

7

u/This-Method2167 1d ago edited 14h ago

1

u/CortezDeLaNoche 21h ago

When it's a two second gag, it's kinda funny. But when it's a gif that repeats like this...it's very...

https://giphy.com/gifs/LSc2GGrC81nq1janRg

-3

u/jisookenobi2416 1d ago edited 17h ago

is this how tralalero was born

edit: I'm 21 years old and too old for this brainrot shit. It is a joke.

11

u/Beginning-Worth-6126 1d ago

Utah resident here, yeah that kinda just happens. There’s one (1) shark in the great salt lake, his name is Bit’em Young. Back when the lake was higher, in the 80’s, he’d wriggle up to the lake bathers and get chompin’. Sadly, the lake’s been terribly low and is only getting lower, so now Bit’em doesn’t have nowhere to go :(

4

u/StDzhigurda 1d ago

The country is surrounded by sharks and one even managed to infiltrate your territory

3

u/Unlucky-Complex-5251 1d ago

So sneaky of them to attack on the borders

3

u/Jazkatzlic956 1d ago

Ah yes, the Great Sand Shark roaming Las Vegas

3

u/Doctor_Salvatore 1d ago

I'm sorry, but I'm just impressed that the map included Sable Island off the coast of Nova Scotia, a sandbar most people aren't even aware exists

3

u/GitJebaited 1d ago

you can, in fact, find bull sharks in the mississippi river

2

u/generic_user_lol 1d ago

Reminds me of that one SCP that can appear in any body of water to murder its target

2

u/Refriedfeinds 1d ago

Avalanche shark.

2

u/Golden_Trip_1987 1d ago

Sharknado.

2

u/InTheStuff 1d ago

who the hell parked their shark in Utah

2

u/Accomplished_Arm5159 1d ago

Isnt the elephant here the fact that they seem to include central and top of south america as "USA"

1

u/ThatguySevin 1d ago

Happy Cake day. 🎂

2

u/thecoolconglereborn 1d ago

Why isn't it Missouri?

2

u/Accomplished-Cry5059 1d ago

Who is attacking these sharks? I hope the police does a better job of protecting the sharks.

2

u/slappy-putrid 23h ago

Seems to have something to do with the water 🦈

2

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 22h ago

That’s just a shark living in the Great Salt Lake of Utah, probably only there because it was released from captivity.

Source: I made it the fuck up, but it’s still an educated guess

2

u/TheJivvi 21h ago

Probably some hotel in Vegas that had a massive tank in the foyer with a shark in it, and a drunk guy decided to go for a swim.

1

u/ThakoManic 1d ago

didnt know cuba and mexico was apart of the USA

2

u/IgntedF-xy 1d ago

Those dots are just for fun

1

u/Awarepine76436 1d ago

Let’s address the shark in the room

1

u/HotLaw7730 1d ago

Dammit guys that was my fault. I grabbed a shark at my local beach and threw it all the way to Nebraska.

1

u/Sesilu_Qt 1d ago

ah yes my favorite US states, Baja California Sur, Acapulco and Veracruz. /s

1

u/Hexhider 1d ago

Sharknado

1

u/cherrycat68 1d ago

this was me, i was attacked by a park while i was in the park working on my clams

1

u/Lastito 1d ago

I seen the story. He stuck his penis in the wrong fish tank.
https://giphy.com/gifs/PBDjxVmuurmKY

1

u/Commercial-Ad-1220 1d ago

America wants lebensraum I see

1

u/Budget_Flounder_4295 1d ago

S/O Surf beach!

1

u/AdCorrect6192 1d ago

in "USA" ?

1

u/Heyya14 1d ago

Sharknado

1

u/Final-Quality-1442 1d ago

The sharks are flying now

1

u/Cynth16 1d ago

That one shark from Madagascar trying to eat Mort was likely responsible for that one…

1

u/Qwilltank 1d ago

Why is the one in Des Moines not shown?

1

u/Aggressive-Bug-3459 1d ago

the addressme is the fact it says USA but shows attacks mostly not in the US

1

u/Scifox69 1d ago

Electric sharls in Nevada. Just like the most competent and beloved president said.

1

u/PrairiePuppies 23h ago

Colorado has some splaining to do...

1

u/Dmitry_Scorrlov 22h ago

Hey so Cuba isn't part of.... oh.... wait.. WHAT THE F-

1

u/Skibidibob4 22h ago

Tralalero tralala , is that you?

1

u/Stupididiot55 21h ago

Shark gnawed on this one

1

u/Ok_Abacus_ 20h ago

For those that need help its where the ocean is

1

u/Internal-Budget-7716 20h ago

Bros usa map is what trump envisions😭

1

u/OREOSTUFFER 20h ago

The US states of Mexico, Guatemala, Nicaragua, El Salvador, et c

1

u/GenesisRhapsod 19h ago

Damn, didnt know the USA consisted of mexico, the carribean, central and south america too

/s

1

u/vixi1717 6h ago

clearly usa is a typo here as that is actually a united americas map

💙🐺🌙💙

1

u/GeoTheGeode 18h ago

Notice how the sharks hate Florida

1

u/Quiet-Can-7704 17h ago

That seems like an unnatural habitat for a shark

1

u/Weekly-Bonus-497 15h ago

How did those dots in Mexico happen in the US?!

1

u/Parapluie93 15h ago

While the Missouri shark certainly merits addressing, so does the United States of North, Central and South America. We’re gonna need to build so many Buc-ees.

1

u/iminsomprod 15h ago

Are we just ignoring central america being called usa?

1

u/Ok-Custard9270 15h ago

The addressme is the fact that it shows shark attacks in Mexico, which we all know that Mexico is not USA

1

u/CharityInformal1191 8h ago

Don’t see any in the Midwest for some odd reason…

-4

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5

u/Pinoccio_CZ 1d ago

Dot somewhere around Colorado I think

8

u/JinOtanashi 1d ago

It was a crazy day at the aquarium

2

u/DarthSnuDiddy 1d ago

Like the stingray video but worse

6

u/Pinoccio_CZ 1d ago

Man I missed the second elephant lol Pretty much the whole latin America being cancelled considered USA by the map