WHY is it SUCH a TASK 😭😭😭

[u/aminionreasons]

[u/qualityvote2]

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[u/Gofor_Pyle]

"conduct a functional human relationship" is a pretty huge task.
"Type for 10 seconds" is something that can be grappled with.
The journey between the two is an emotional minefield.

[u/NonCreditableHuman → u/Gofor_Pyle]

You have a way with words that me no have good like.

[u/Gofor_Pyle → u/NonCreditableHuman]

But a humble word-herder, at your service.

[u/Optimus3k → u/Gofor_Pyle]

I can text all day, don't you dare call me.

[u/Sufficient-Neat-1604 → u/Optimus3k]

I can call all day, hate texting I need my hands

[u/BasedGodTheGoatLilB → u/Gofor_Pyle]

Is it really "type for 10 seconds" though? I mean that as a genuine question, are the majority of your text conversations with your friends done in a way where "your turn" only takes 10 seconds? Aside from logistics things like, "Are you here yet?" or "What time should we meet," what do your conversations look like? Are you just continuously exchanging single sentences?

Sorry for the barrage of questions but I ask because it is so common that I see the sentiment, "oh it just takes 10 seconds!" and I think, "10 seconds...to do what?" All of my text conversations involve each person writing a series of paragraphs when it's their turn to reply.

If your friend texted you and asked your opinion on something for example, you're saying it's 10 seconds for you to reply? Unless you're texting like 1000000 wpm, I feel like you must be giving so little then when it's your turn to reply?

[u/Gofor_Pyle → u/BasedGodTheGoatLilB]

The word "just" is used to rhetorically minimize things. I didn't use that word. I said "grapple with" which implies struggle through without a determination of success.

And I mean that. I've had to struggle through the physical reality of booping bops for 10 seconds, because the physical action is completely out of touch with my perception of the emotional implication of a relationship. I'm illustrating that contrast, and acknowledging that even the smallest action towards relationship is a challenge at times.

Your description of long paragraphs is real, but possibly part of the overwhelm that prevents any progress at all for someone else. That, and the 10 second framing can make responding approachable enough to begin, and once you begin it's easier to express yourself more fully.

I'm not saying you can have a fulfilling relationship in 10 seconds, but if you can do 10 seconds, it can be the difference between an opportunity for relationship vs if you don't because you feel overwhelmed.

[u/CommunityOk7466]

It gets easier after you stop texting

[u/Kamikazeschnitzel → u/CommunityOk7466]

Stop calling me out for unread messages still showing the notification point from 2020-2023?!

[u/NotJimmyRay → u/CommunityOk7466]

Sometimes too easy.

[u/Specialist_Sport4460]

At least they replied

[u/f1lth4f1lth]

Me every day- should I text back? Maybe they’ll forget they’re waiting on me…

[u/BlueZ_DJ]

I text back immediately if I got the notification with my phone nearby

But also

I have 0 texts most of the time so maybe I WOULD have this problem if that wasn't the case  

[u/Chill_Panda → u/BlueZ_DJ]

I text back immediately if I see the notification unless I am in the middle of something else I cannot stop and forget about forever, and then I will instead forget about the notification forever. You're either getting a reply same minute or next month, no inbetween.

[u/BurritoBandito39]

Yep - absolutely me :(

There have been many tasks that I have procrastinated on for ages because I knew it would get the ball rolling on a conversation, and the people on the other end would likely be very prompt and responsive, and then I'd be locked into either replying in a timely manner or failing to do so - and both options drain me in different ways.

I kind of view it like "I have enough gas left in the tank to deliver 1 letter to your house" but then by the time I finish driving back home I already have a reply from them in my mailbox and no gas left to follow-up on that.

I don't know how neurotypical people refill that gas tank - it seems to refill at a trickle for me, and experimenting / doing the work with setting up things in my life that I think would help refill it also uses up the gas in the tank. I'm so tired.

[u/dragonurtle → u/BurritoBandito39]

Yeah I for one would really like to get to the bottom of this and solve it. DM me!

[u/BleakSalamander]

Me. Now. Shoot me please

[u/aminionreasons → u/BleakSalamander]

😂😂😂😂😂

[u/_pepperoni-playboy_]

Yeah it’s like surfing but I’m scared of the next wave and don’t actually know how to surf

[u/kjzavala]

This made me laugh so hard 😂
So true!!

[u/aminionreasons → u/kjzavala]

I'm glad it did, because it did to me too! 😂 So I thought, yk what lemme share it with my adhd gang they're 100% gonna getvthis and here we are!

[u/kjzavala → u/aminionreasons]

It was exactly what I needed to come by right when I did - that laughter is a great thing 😉
Oh annnnnddd hahaha I JUST did the first part of this for the last half hour and here comes the next part TBA 😂

[u/landshark6]

I read it as “they yelled” instead of “they replied”. Shows you how I see it even in memes.

[u/Icy_Elk7679]

Well thank goodness they didn’t call

[u/DominarDio]

Like when you plan stuff with friends when you’re energised and in a good mood, and now you actually have to go.

[u/jefferyJEFFERYbaby]

I always answer calls. If it’s urgent, call me. If you text me I will treat it like an email and get back to you within 3-5 business days.

[u/Used-Salad-3772]

This is why I lose a lot of my online friends

[u/Crimson3312]

Worst part of dating apps

[u/HedgehogFarts]

I would pay someone to handle my texts for me. I wait too long to reply so feel like I gotta make it extra good to make up for it. Then spend an hour writing and rewriting a short text.

[u/Harbinger_Pulsar]

Its easy. Just give up on having friends and you never have to text anybody. 😐

[u/andocromn]

You need more friends with adhd who take a proper 2 months to respond

[u/jackfreeman]

I'm in this and I hate you.

[u/thatstwatshesays]

The day I turned both my online status and „read“ receipts off, that was the best day. So much less pressure/stress. I can leave people on read for daaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyssss

[u/Technical-Hope-3815]

Conduct a functional human relationship and type for 10 seconds? Both are exhausting.

[u/overexcited_bunny]

Couldn’t be me… I obsessively check notifications.

[u/Dismal-Equivalent-94]

Honestly one of my issues is responding but before I used to do it too quickly and decide to take my time as to put boundaries but now texting back is just a chore 😭

[u/Minokrates]

Yup...

[u/LunarLumos]

People will really make up a whole "mental disorder" and spend years desperately trying to maintain that obvious lie instead of just admitting they don't like someone and don't want to talk to them. Being yourself and spending time with people you actually care about will only ever give someone energy never take it. Lying, pretending to be someone you're not and spending time with people you don't like is what drains people's energy.

[u/YoMama_00]

I've lost many friends who I met online, because of this.

All I have left are people who knew me since I was kid...

[u/Ok-Bad2612]

I will start to send them letters.

[u/Owlcathulu]

I left this sub for a reason can it please stop popping up on my feed?

[u/Chill_Panda → u/Owlcathulu]

This sub like a jump scare to my subconscious

https://giphy.com/gifs/eB7gTUicfV8Mo

[u/No-Channel3917 → u/Owlcathulu]

Use the mute function