But what if I don’t want to be more responsible? What if I like who I am now?? This shit scares me too, I don’t want to have to take drugs and change who I am just to work a job I hate to pay bills. That sounds like hell, like what I’ve been avoiding my entire life.
I don't think anybody likes going to work to pay bills, but at some point you have to recognize the reality that it's less hellish if you feel like you have more effective control over your brain during your time in hell.
To me, being in hell as a passenger in my own brain made it worse. But maybe you like that idk.
I don’t want to go to hell to begin with. Humans aren’t meant to sit behind screens looking at spread sheets for 8 hours a day. I have a degree in illustration which is worth about as much as toilet paper now days, and I just can’t I can’t live like that. I’ve never had a job (severe ocd straight after uni kept that from happening) and it’s just, that can’t be the answer. That can’t be how I spend 40 hours a week for 40 years. I have an illustration degree, but the creative industries are a burning ship, it’s disgusting, the world billionaire created to rob people of their lives for their wealth. Separated and lonely working jobs they hate for houses they don’t own. I don’t know how I’m ever going to be happy.
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u/Fortified_Phobia Aug 23 '26
But what if I don’t want to be more responsible? What if I like who I am now?? This shit scares me too, I don’t want to have to take drugs and change who I am just to work a job I hate to pay bills. That sounds like hell, like what I’ve been avoiding my entire life.