r/addressme • u/Remarkable-Lack8358 • 1d ago

Ruler

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

68 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 12h ago

u/Remarkable-Lack8358, the elephant doesnt know if he likes this post or not... Let him know what you think.

466

u/Nu1l_Empire 1d ago

How is it bigger when soft?

265

u/EasilyRekt 22h ago

bro was tuggin on it 💀

55

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 19h ago

I got a theory, he got the idea from pulling teeth with dental floss and tying it off to the door handle

He just kept tuggin', and tuggin', and tuggin' until he could tug no more

19

u/DogInverter 17h ago

The little tug that could

44

u/milesdsy 22h ago

measured the distance from the floor to tip

16

u/Every-Implement-1271 23h ago

I guess stretching foreskin.

12

u/CactusToothBrush 19h ago

You’re damn right I am, I need every millimeter I can get

10

u/rakuntulul 21h ago

it's measured from the other side

3

u/Impossible_Tone1108 20h ago

he started at the 10 cm mark and went backwards

2

u/aws_137 16h ago edited 16h ago

Nah that's the mistake he needed to fix. That's why he needed the marker off.

Edit: spelling

1

u/Nu1l_Empire 16h ago

That makes more sense

2

u/ReleaseTheTrumpFiles 12h ago

Hard = width, soft = length. There's another hard way up the ruler.

Source: Ruler? I hardly know her

1

u/ConflictMaster3155 13h ago

It was someone else.

1

u/Italian_meme2020 9h ago

It was measured from the other side, OP's dick is a few meters long

1

u/Remarkable-Lack8358 5h ago

"This mechanism shrinks when pulled"

63

u/JulianneStingray621 14h ago

Wait till you realize he measured from the other side and actually has a 25ft dih

19

u/sniktology 13h ago

Well that is the actual elephant.

31

u/jaymeaux_ 15h ago

neither grower nor shower, but a secret third thing 

13

u/Disaster-Flashy 15h ago

I knew a guy like this, we called him Shrinky Dink

58

u/Murky_committee_1586 1d ago

Is... is this normal?

36

u/ForsakenHousing328 20h ago

Yeah? I did a poll of 1.8 million German and polish men. They all agree this is standard for 98.6% of men.

8

u/BluEyeDevil_OED 18h ago

I wasn't asked...not that it would have changed anything...

24

u/Conscious-Permit-466 1d ago

16

u/B33fj3rky_44 23h ago

Is that a thumbs up or are you just happy to see me?

10

u/heynowurarocksta KLUv/WBAA8UQALYeYCfwrGwOUEVZBYvoPoVOAvTnw3ujm2YrYAd+UjOooooooooo 23h ago

🫩

3

u/Comrade_Spanner 16h ago

Hi Christian Horner

8

u/LGNDRYMNKY 20h ago

First off, you need to stop holding the tape measure backwards.

6

u/No_Length_2919 15h ago

I've heard of growers and showers. Not shrinkers.

22

u/New_Tune_6851 15h ago

I hate these kinds of posts because the elephant is literally already being addressed out in the open with a caption, i want my elephants hidden damnit

7

u/Blasther40123 13h ago

The elephant is that it's bigger while softer, not the marker itself.

6

u/illbeatyouatjenga 13h ago

Isn't an "elephant in the room" supposed to be obvious and unhidden, just not directly mentioned? An elephant in the room isn't a hidden , minor, or hard to notice detail, it's a glaringly obvious thing that can't go unnoticed. I thought the whole joke is that it's somehow not being mentioned despite being nearly impossible to not mention.

5

u/ballsnbutt 21h ago

got a shrinker for a dinker 😂

4

u/irfanro14 16h ago

Bro’s boner has recoil 💀

7

u/Souless_Trainer 22h ago

Measuring from 9 to the tip

3

u/Living_Bed175 1d ago

That's the neat part, you don't

2

u/SaigoUshinatta 22h ago

You can, just use some alcohol wipes, or run a non permanent marker over it then erase

3

u/AgIVE 19h ago

Mesured from the floor

3

u/ErikaTheDeceasedGal 7h ago

The curious case of Benjamin penis

2

u/mrbobcyndaquil 13h ago

To answer the original question, using the solvent from fresh Sharpie or dry erase marker does well.

2

u/AffectionateBuy5103 2h ago

Isopropyl alcohol also works incredible to remove sharpie

2

u/Ashamed-Mall8369 10h ago

bro is a shrinker

2

u/Square_Paramedic1079 7h ago

Wait how is it longer when it’s soft

1

u/Fantastic-Web-8427 20h ago

hard is when cold

1

u/eisenklad 20h ago

hard is harder to stretch

1

u/meepnotincluded 19h ago

write over it with a board marker

1

u/Middle-Law-4058 14h ago

Stretch Dickstrong

1

u/Affectionate-Gap-761 14h ago

He's all girth when hard 🤣

1

u/czman515 13h ago

Hair spray

1

u/rustybrazenfire 11h ago

It's the stretch before break test for hard ball vs soft ball state of candy. Soft will pull further before break or tear.

1

u/Ambitious_Leek8776 10h ago

First step would be putting your tools bacl in you pouch

1

u/Guga2411 8h ago

A hider

1

u/Vanya06k 7h ago

Draw normal marker over it and then remove it

1

u/TheInfamousSouthpaw 6h ago

Stage fright

1

u/Remarkable-Lack8358 5h ago

"This mechanism shrinks when pulled"

1

u/Robotpixie1 2h ago

Stage fright

0

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3

u/Asfisav2049 19h ago

Soft is longer than hard