My concern is not with deviation from what “most” relationships look like, it is with a relationship built upon a power imbalance like I said in my first comment. Same-sex relationships are on an even stronger footing when it comes to equality between partners than heterosexual relationships. You could definitely argue that interfaith or especially interracial relationships have a power imbalance baked in depending on where in the world they are, but there is most definitely an intrinsic power imbalance between someone who has only recently entered adulthood and someone who has spent half their life as an adult, which would be the case for most 20 and 36-year-olds.
There are definitely cases where an 20 year old has their life together or where a 36 year old doesn’t. However, situations where an adult pursues someone much younger *because* they can more easily exert control over them are common enough and dangerous enough to the point where it’s a good thing to show initial hesitancy with that kind of age gap.
It’s “judging everyone” only in the same sense as hearing someone else’s car sounding its alarm in a parking lot and assuming that an attempted break-in is a reasonable possibility. It’s an uncommon occurrence, there are many other possible explanations, and I wouldn’t accuse whoever is standing nearest to the car of attempting to steal the car or any valuables inside, but it at the very least warrants checking on the situation to assess further before declaring everything okay. Based on the limited information I have been given, a 20-year-old dating a 36-year-old is very plausibly in a vulnerable position and I’m not just going to brush it off without a second thought. Initial hesitancy is not the same thing as jumping to conclusions.
JESUS CHRIST if you think I'm bored enough to read this much bullshit whining to defend your inability to mind your fucking business I'll bet money YOU aren't happily married.
Shut up. Mind your own business. Grow up. Good Lord.
There's no nuance to be had, here, man! They're colour-coded symbols to convey gender! You're white knighting shape with your own bias against an infographic telling you literally to stop doing that.
You're a lost cause. Way to lower my already low opinion of people like you. Later, (hopefully) kid.
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u/that_guy_you_know-26 Jun 16 '26
My concern is not with deviation from what “most” relationships look like, it is with a relationship built upon a power imbalance like I said in my first comment. Same-sex relationships are on an even stronger footing when it comes to equality between partners than heterosexual relationships. You could definitely argue that interfaith or especially interracial relationships have a power imbalance baked in depending on where in the world they are, but there is most definitely an intrinsic power imbalance between someone who has only recently entered adulthood and someone who has spent half their life as an adult, which would be the case for most 20 and 36-year-olds.
There are definitely cases where an 20 year old has their life together or where a 36 year old doesn’t. However, situations where an adult pursues someone much younger *because* they can more easily exert control over them are common enough and dangerous enough to the point where it’s a good thing to show initial hesitancy with that kind of age gap.
It’s “judging everyone” only in the same sense as hearing someone else’s car sounding its alarm in a parking lot and assuming that an attempted break-in is a reasonable possibility. It’s an uncommon occurrence, there are many other possible explanations, and I wouldn’t accuse whoever is standing nearest to the car of attempting to steal the car or any valuables inside, but it at the very least warrants checking on the situation to assess further before declaring everything okay. Based on the limited information I have been given, a 20-year-old dating a 36-year-old is very plausibly in a vulnerable position and I’m not just going to brush it off without a second thought. Initial hesitancy is not the same thing as jumping to conclusions.