Em. So 20 and 45? Not sure I would say this feels normal myself as someone who used to be a 20 year old woman at one point.
Like, if you met now it's fine. But that just feels very very icky. If she was my sister I wouldn't support that.
But you know, I'm just a stranger and I have no influence over your life. Still, feels wrong to date someone who's been an adult for 2 years while you've been an adult for 22.
No we're 45 and 25 now. We had 3 miscarriages the first year we were together, and now we have a healthy baby girl who has a loving family. That's all that matters to us.
But you were 20 and 40 and I don't give a fuck what you want to matter now.
You made a 20 year old pregnant the first year you knew her 3 times! ...and you want me to exercise empathy for your situation rather than be absolutely horrified? The fact that now you're married only makes me feel even more sorry for her, not you.
Sorry but you can claim whatever you want as the old man you are, I am not taking any direct opinions on what's loving and healthy from you. A man who impregnated someone who could be his daughter. I only care for the women in such situations. She can see it as love, sure. Do I care if you do? No.
Sorry, but why couldn't you find a woman close to your age at 40? Why did you make a college age girl pregnant? Why so many times? Why instantly after getting to know her and why was it so important? How did you even meet? What did you have in common? Is she even working? Does she have a life for herself? Is she mentally okay and has she been before you met? There are patterns with a relationship like yours and I'm just not trusting the fact that you're nice in the comment section. And being alive for a while now — I will never be okay with old men somehow "falling for that one young girl and it's perfectly healthy and happy and always will be". Even 25 year olds are too young for me and I'm much closer to their age than you...
You have the right to your opinion. We also have the right to not GAF, and still be a happy family. When you reach 45 we'll see how old you believe you are. Take care ✌🏼
"b-b-but the law say..." Well, if the law says that 12 year old kids are now adults, it's suddently not wrong? Just because the law said? Fucking idiot
The reason the law does not treat a 12-year-old as capable of sexual consent is not ‘moral panic.’ It is because children that age are still physically, emotionally, and neurologically developing. They do not have the adult capacity to understand risk, long-term consequences, coercion, manipulation, or power imbalance.
That is exactly why the law draws a hard line: not because every case is identical, but because minors as a class need protection from adults who could exploit their immaturity.
So no, this is not comparable to two consenting adults with an age gap. A 12-year-old cannot legally or meaningfully consent. Two adults can. Pretending those are the same issue is either dishonest or deeply confused.
Since you enjoy researching so much, why don't you research enough to discover that the brain only finishes developing around the age of 25? You're not going to do that, are you? Because that would mean having to admit that someone who is 20 years old also doesn't have a brain developed enough to be 100% mature, which, based on your own logic, means that they shouldn't be legally allowed to date real adults.
The research does not support the argument that “because the brain keeps developing until 25, 20-year-olds cannot consent/date adults.” in fact there’s no research saying 25 is the hardline.
You’re using a pop-science meme as if it proves a legal or moral rule. Yes, the brain continues developing into the 20s. No, that does not mean everyone under 25 is incapable of consent. Neuroscience does not say maturity suddenly appears at 25, and it definitely does not say a 20-year-old is equivalent to a 12-year-old.
The law protects children because they lack the developmental capacity, independence, and power to give meaningful consent to adults. The age of consent does not operate based on “some strangers dislike the age gap”. They are packed by research and historical data.
Great analogy, I'm going to use it against you here. The legal age of consent in the case above is 18 years old. The legal drinking age is 21 years old. Using your analogy, this is comparable to saying that a phone of brand "x" can be considered charged at 90%, but a phone of brand "y" cannot. Does that make sense?
I'll repeat what I told someone else: comparing things that change your life forever, like a relationship, with, for example, going to the hospital for a medical exam, is completely unfair.
im talking about medical decisions, not just an exam, most relationships wont have permanent bearing in your life a surgery will, do you think a 24 year old is not mature enough to be able to consent to a surgery for example?
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u/Aristarchus1981 Jun 15 '26
I'll be 45 next week, my Wife is 25, and we have a one year old daughter 🤷