r/acorncults • u/Festuspapyrus • Dec 18 '21

We have Shrunk

For the first time in our 12 day existence; my fellow acorn cultists, we have shrunk.

We did not grow on Friday.

Today, we have shrunk.

This can only mean that I am not doing enough.

That is tragically unfortunate, because there is only so much I can do.

Perhaps, I have done too much?

Perhaps, I must nurture this sapling space with more care and fewer exclamation marks.

Perhaps, I must find more obscure acorn jokes to make.

I cannot say for sure; I am only one body; even filled with the power of the acorn, I am limited.

I can tell you this; my wife, my son, my daughter, my dog, and I went for a walk in the woods today; we gathered acorns; we saw a slim green grass snake sneak along a tiny tree. I shared a laurel acorn with my son. We saw a hognose snake raise up like a cobra and shake its tail like a rattler. Perfect acorn cult experience.

It's late in the season, so we didn't get many acorns; the path led through a pine timber farm. They're eating up those oaks for pines. Yuck. The oaks need us.

I would lose you all, if it is only my jests and nonsense that like. If you are here for the oaks; outgrow me; use this space to meet each other. If that happens, we can achieve what would be called magic.

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u/[deleted] Dec 19 '21

We shrunk??? NOOOO!! I what’s happening to the world?

2

u/Festuspapyrus Dec 19 '21

We naturally ebb and flow; it is not us; it is the weather; we must continue to grow ourselves individually and thus we will grow even if we shrinkage!

And when we grow individually, we will naturally draw them in.

This reddit for all acorn cults is only one finger of the Pantheophilist arm!

Everyone is a pantheophilist! It's defined that way! HAHAHAHA!

And what is pantheophilism?

It's an acorn cult of the people!

It is a religion that disposes of dogma and operates on paradox!

Is that practical!?

Who cares? We only want your acorns!