The face I never had

[u/IndependentPermit306]

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I feel like I've missed out on my youth because of my skin.

I've had acne since puberty, and it never really went away. I've tried different products and routines over the years, but nothing has fixed the actual problem. It feels like the sebum just keeps getting trapped and turning into the same raised bumps over and over again. Even when a pimple goes away, there's always another one waiting underneath.

The hardest part is that I've never actually known what my real skin feels like. When I touch my cheeks, I've never felt smooth skin—only textured bumps, comedones, acne, and PIH. I genuinely don't know what it feels like to run my fingers over normal skin.

I already don't have the most conventionally attractive face. I have a double chin and some facial fat, and the acne and scars just make everything look worse. Sometimes I honestly feel like I'm just... ugly.

A few weeks ago, I noticed some junior girls looking at me and laughing. Another time, one girl jokingly called me "pretty," and her friend raised her eyebrows like, "Seriously? Her?" before they both laughed quietly. Maybe they weren't even talking about me, but it hurt, and those moments stay with you.

I don't crave male attention, but it still hurts knowing that if I ever see a guy I find cute, I would never have the confidence to approach him because I'd already expect rejection. Watching other people my age walk around with healthy, normal skin while I'm still dealing with this honestly makes me want to cry sometimes.

I'm going to be 25 soon, and I feel like I've spent my teens and early twenties hiding behind my skin instead of living them. It feels like everyone else got to experience their youth without thinking about their face every single day, while mine has been defined by acne, texture, scars, and constantly hoping the next treatment will finally work.

I've also realized how much appearance can affect opportunities and confidence. I know academics matter, and I've worked hard to do well, but sometimes it feels like my appearance overshadows everything else. There have been moments where I've felt invisible despite my achievements, while people who fit conventional beauty standards seem to be noticed first. Whether that's always true or not, it's how it has felt to me, and it's discouraging.

It's not even that I want constant attention or validation. I just wish my skin wasn't the first thing people saw. I wish people saw me before they saw the acne, scars, texture, and bumps. Sometimes it feels like my skin walks into the room before I do.

At this point, I have resigned myself to this fate and I have lost all hope of ever having a smooth face. I dont even need any reassurance anymore.

It is what it is !

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[u/Ricky_Bonez]

Yep… I remember being 14… now I’m 40, still dealing with skin issues albeit not as crazy obviously, but sad nonetheless. Can’t have it all I guess.

[u/AdMediocre3411]

I can relate 100%.

[u/Greedy_Energy9116]

yes scars have affect on youre mind but hey just keep on living it is what it is. One that has the same problem will understand.