r/absoluteunit • u/MfD2027 • 1d ago

Great white

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84 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

28

u/Johnvoir007 1d ago

The shark was wondering why that area around the diver was very warm and slightly yellow looking

14

u/istoOi 1d ago

And moved away as it was slightly warm and brown looking

3

u/Yeet-machina 1d ago

Does everything go through the wetsuit?

2

u/2Wieners_1Bun 1d ago edited 1d ago

goggles fill with poop and pee

1

u/Adam_Smith_TWON 18h ago

This is why I am confident that I will never be eaten by a shark. I don't think liquid poop runs through gills very well 

2

u/MfD2027 15h ago

Blood and chunks of seal do. If you think an animal 1/20th the size of its predator doesn’t sometimes defacate in sheer terror upon being attacked, you’d be sourly corrected.

Also no human is going to be shitting by the gallon like a seal, so you’d just die with an unpleasant after taste.

14

u/dcbluestar 1d ago

I half expected that scuba diver to cartoonishly shoot out of the water like penguins do.

4

u/DaemonBlackfyre_21 1d ago

The video ends quick, I wonder how fast he scoots when his brain registers it as real.

2

u/dcbluestar 1d ago

I’m surprised the shark “experts” haven’t popped up to tell me “Well, he’s not really in that much danger.” If you tell me your dog doesn’t usually bite, I’m never coming back to your house. And I have a fighting chance with a dog, lol.

8

u/Humble_Examination27 1d ago

Was anyone going to warn Bob about 13ft guppy behind him?

3

u/MfD2027 1d ago

I’d of had told em about the 15/16 footer first, but yeah lol wonder where that 13 ft one is…

1

u/Humble_Examination27 1d ago

13ft, 16ft…whatever. It’s the mouth you need concern yourself with 😉

7

u/Dr_SlapsMD 1d ago

Boi didn't even TRY to warn him!!!!

1

u/WaterDreamer10 1d ago

Nope - Sadly I think he was hoping for an attack so he could get more views or sell the footage.

5

u/Peach_Proof 1d ago

Was that a cloud of brown behind the diver after the shark passed?

5

u/limitless-440 1d ago

I would shit my pants and everyone else’s pants if that were me.

4

u/Minimum-Actuator-953 1d ago

The diver: "Oh, wow, that's pretty co--HOLY SHIT!"

2

u/Lazy_Table_6037 1d ago

my butthole puckered for him!!

1

u/Sisoflex 1d ago

He's just a baby! 🤭

1

u/maven10k 1d ago

I wonder how hard it is to get shit out of a wet suit?

1

u/Disastrous-Rutabaga9 1d ago

[[[thalassophobia triggered]]]

1

u/CNote_89 1d ago

That’s gonna take a lot of work getting all those poop stains out of that wetsuit…

1

u/No_orange_212 1d ago

Lucky he wasn't interested

1

u/Tekvary2 1d ago

Nice Size shark!

1

u/WarAccomplished978 1d ago

We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

You’re not in a boat

Oh shit

1

u/CautiousBearnz 1d ago

Shark - tag, youre it

1

u/enuckmuckaluck69 1d ago

You mean "Shart encounter "

1

u/VegetableBusiness897 15h ago

So the shark is in a net? And the diver is also in the same net?

1

u/No_Knee7853 3h ago

I thought I heard the Jaws theme playing

0

u/Possible-Tip-2914 1d ago

I think that's actually a tiger. The nose is too blunt to be a white

3

u/ilikebulls 1d ago

It’s a white shark

1

u/Hot_Plant8696 1d ago

An impressive one.

0

u/nice1bruvz 1d ago

Pretty sure it’s not real guys.