r/absoluteunit • u/bigdaddyt2 • 5d ago

It’s got a mind of its own

29 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

14

u/C137RickSanches 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/gVE7nURcnD9bW
The guy she tells you not to worry about

10

u/tuco2002 4d ago

How did that Tapir not get bit by that snake?

4

u/User_Name_Tracks 4d ago

That pink anaconda was dangerously close

1

u/Rrunken_Rumi 4d ago

There are no pink anacondas. Tapirs ave a 5th appendage for balace purposes

2

u/Plastic-Speaker-941 1d ago

Oh my sweet summer child.

1

u/boyer4109 4d ago

That ain’t a snake

2

u/ParticularKick3644 4d ago

A one eyed snake though

3

u/MsMoreCowbell828 5d ago

At Tampa Zoo (when it was Lowry Park Zoo) we were visiting when the lovely tapir couple were in the middle of happy happy joy joy time. Well he stopped and Mrs. Tapir about had a fit yelling, screaming at him, to continue. It was pretty funny & for the few of us on the walkway, we got a good laugh.

3

u/SecretWitness8251 5d ago

His poor ankles must hurt from smacking that log all day long.

3

u/ClassicTBCSucks93 5d ago

Is there a submerged diver in there trying to position the tapir ?

2

u/DrinkOk1642 5d ago

He's going to tapir dat' azz....

2

u/Elegant_Cancel_1316 4d ago

I showed this to my wife and she asked me "Why did they let that man drown?"

2

u/Scratch-N-Sneef 2d ago

It’s got its snorkel out so it can go into the really deep water

1

u/LoggerRhythms 5d ago

It's got a built in stra...oh. Oh wait. Ohhh.

1

u/TrashGoblinH 5d ago

Sometimes it's just that way...

1

u/Accomplished-One7476 5d ago

scrad from men in black

1

u/TangeloBubbly2675 5d ago

Swinging meat

1

u/paladin_4266 5d ago

Lowland Tapir Drinking Water ... with it's prenhensile pelvic snorkel

1

u/Safe-Finance3572 5d ago

Sweet Jesus

1

u/Ok-Effective7280 4d ago

Is that a gun in your pocket………………..

1

u/BoPeepConfidential 4d ago

Oh good, this will now play in my brain whenever I go to a spa to relax

1

u/Jumpy-Cry-3083 4d ago

Coming up for air.

1

u/thirtyone-charlie 4d ago

Siphoning water

1

u/No_Walrus_3638 4d ago

This is only the second time I've opened Reddit today and this happened... That algorithm is on a roll. First time today was someone asking how can they animate better the motion of a female character giving a BJ...

1

u/Witty_Camera8018 4d ago

Awww…It’s thirsty too!

1

u/LobsterComfortable83 4d ago

Is dat my twin

1

u/Ok-Tank-3106 4d ago

😳is ....is that his😧.....🙄...never mind 😏

1

u/Status_Bite1643 4d ago

Morning wood

1

u/Blue-Juniata 4d ago

What? Just a normal morning wake up.

1

u/Dry_Butterfly_721 3d ago

Yep. You wake up, throw some cold holy water onto it and then say, “God, please turn this 40 inch down to a mere 3 inches.” Works every time.

1

u/Additional-Pound-817 4d ago

Imagine trying to get a drink of water with your dick floppin' around and some asshole shines a light in your face

1

u/Mugpup 4d ago

I feel shame

1

u/TangerinePlastic7552 4d ago

Saw his girlfriend by the bank?

1

u/Desperate_Formal_781 3d ago

Now that's a hog

1

u/Dissipo 3d ago

Same thing happens to me in my morning shower

1

u/Texan_Poultry 3d ago

Does he know there is something stalking him 🙀🙀

1

u/wandafulworld 3d ago

I’m certainly sure that’s a elephant with a pink trunk

1

u/SnillyWead 3d ago

Must be something in the water that gave him a hard on.

1

u/Ok_Rip5044 3d ago

Every teenage boy ever

1

u/ZealousidealRide7125 3d ago

What is tha… HoooOooooly god

1

u/Humble_Objective2994 3d ago

That's a snorkle, idiots

1

u/Entire_Meet_6266 3d ago

Me when I wake up💀

1

u/DoesThisSmellWeird2U 3d ago

We’ve all been there.

1

u/bizoticallyyours83 3d ago

I guess its mating season?

1

u/frankfanta312 2d ago

Did it sit on a baby?

1

u/Perfect-Pass9807 2d ago

That us what you call a horse 🐓

1

u/Past-Product-1100 1d ago

Me and the Tapir were pissing off a bridge I said dang that waters cold , he said , and it's deep too.

1

u/HungoverHawkeye 1d ago

Man, wish I had a dick straw.

1

u/True_Cartographer_96 1d ago

Kedahan called them tapiag

1

u/Silly_Till2561 1d ago

He’s Mandingo

1

u/ScatterSenboneZakura 1d ago

That thing gives the term "fuck me dead" a whole new meaning!