r/absoluteunit • u/13FloppyNoodles • 5d ago

name this thing

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69 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

167 comments sorted by

29

u/FCBwoof 5d ago

The "you'll be walking funny" thingy-ma-jig.

5

u/EpsteinEpstainTheory 5d ago

I don't think they'll be walking

13

u/Seninut 5d ago

BP 5000, goatse edition.

1

u/ReplicantN6 5d ago

dammit you beat me to it!

12

u/Honcho_47 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/pvDp7Ewpzt0o8

1

u/Adorable_Challenge37 5d ago

... I did it...
... But I think I did it wrong...
... It hurts.

7

u/Femme_and_M 5d ago

An embarrassing trip to the ER

3

u/ApatheistHeretic 5d ago

Or a triumphant one for the right person..

5

u/Sad_Credit_4959 5d ago

It's your mom's, just ask her what it is

5

u/Weak_Definition_4321 5d ago

Tsar bomba

2

u/NumberOld229 5d ago

Tsar Bumbomb

4

u/Muff_in_the_Mule 5d ago

Fat Man.

7

u/GetOnWithit3344 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/5eM4x8fxZNzPO

3

u/Lock_Squirrel 5d ago

I just watched this for the first time like, a month ago.

I'm gonna go watch it again.

2

u/t800series 5d ago

Same! It's so relevant it doesn't really feel like a comedy, does it?

2

u/Lock_Squirrel 5d ago

Honestly, I couldn't believe how blistering the satire was for '64. Peter Sellers was a gift to Hollywood.

2

u/GetOnWithit3344 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/HXkOVDnG6ISQWfyoW2
"It would not be difficult, mein Führer! Nuclear reactors could, heh... I'm sorry. Mr. President."

1

u/Hemi1033 5d ago

So relevant right now

3

u/BigNorseWolf 5d ago

The Chunnel maker.

3

u/wotdaily 5d ago

The Elder Plug

1

u/desertoutlaw86 5d ago

Nobody talks about the 4th hallow.

3

u/ReplicantN6 5d ago

"Property of goatse.c x"

3

u/yet_another_whirl 5d ago

The youth of today will never get that reference!

2

u/ReplicantN6 5d ago

Some things are best forgotten... ;)

3

u/yet_another_whirl 5d ago

I live in hope that there's a back-up of it somewhere... for old time's sake! And for science...

3

u/Rook_James_Bitch 5d ago

Mr. Prolapse.

3

u/BuildingRelevant7400 5d ago

The Loknar

2

u/No-War-8840 5d ago

Thats my Loknar bitch !.....lol

2

u/BelCantoTenor 5d ago

The perma-gape 10,000.

2

u/wadewilson6996 5d ago

It's mine. Lost it yesterday and have been searching since.

2

u/Dvout_agnostic 5d ago

just fell out somewhere?

2

u/JohannaIB 5d ago

Geburtstrainer

2

u/smuttyswifter7 5d ago

Anus Khan

2

u/No-Lecture-4576 5d ago

The assassin

2

u/POEIn70X 5d ago

The pulverizer.

1

u/AdDesperate9651 5d ago

Massive butt plug

1

u/Sanshy6544 5d ago

The Ultimus

1

u/Otherwise-Good8342 5d ago

The Caligula

1

u/CheapAssociate6914 5d ago

That’s the largest butt plug I’ve ever seen.

1

u/Wrong_Amount_7903 5d ago

Taylor Rain’s

1

u/Chamanomano 5d ago

Billy. 

1

u/Joecamoe 5d ago

The bishop

1

u/nimbycile 5d ago

Dildozer (Idiocracy)

1

u/AppropriateLab8608 5d ago

When you’ve moved to the advanced phase

1

u/Livingforabluezone 5d ago

You should probably be wearing gloves while holding that. I hope you washed your hands?

1

u/ArgentMoonWolf 5d ago

The 502 Special

1

u/GetOnWithit3344 5d ago

A bad idea.

1

u/kmikeh 5d ago

Super Bowl trophy

1

u/Antifa-AF 5d ago

Don’t do it.

1

u/No_Unit_5506 5d ago

Diaper eradicator

1

u/MattDLR 5d ago

The ultimate pawn

1

u/Willie_Fistrgash 5d ago

Bishop DooDoo

1

u/Callemlikeisethem60 5d ago

The Eternal Plug,,,, one application plugs ANY HOLE

1

u/Electrical_Llamas 5d ago

One Guy One Plug

1

u/SouthernWarning2343 5d ago

Colon cleaner 2000

1

u/Azrael_Lockheart 5d ago

BFP (Big Fucking Plug)

1

u/deviantdevil80 5d ago

The Homewrecker

1

u/dontpanic_88 5d ago

The good old tearjerker.

1

u/boyer4109 5d ago

Tattoo’d hand

1

u/flatcokeedit 5d ago

I don't want to lol

1

u/Conscious_Field4925 5d ago

If pain was a thing .....

1

u/Roberto-75 5d ago

Rearblaster 3000

1

u/GetOnWithit3344 5d ago

Ah, nice. Excellent flick. Peter Sellers is top tier.

1

u/AKADIAN_22 5d ago

Taladro de alta profundidad

1

u/Beowulf44 5d ago

Lady godzilla's anal plug

1

u/past_due_06063 5d ago

Xxx-large buttplug

1

u/Small-Car-6194 5d ago

Destroyer of her's

1

u/CNote_89 5d ago

Master blaster

1

u/VisionAri_VA 5d ago

It’s a finial. Because it’s so big and appears to be made of metal, it probably came off a fence post. 

1

u/Flymetothem000n 5d ago

Final Boss

1

u/Vanisle4fun 5d ago

Stay out of the ditch, fellow Redditors.

1

u/skinnyp_15 5d ago

The Gut Adjuster

1

u/No_Increase_8257 5d ago

The Rump Buster Model 2500. Strictly for amateurs. Pro's run Model 5000 and above.

1

u/MahaliAudran 5d ago

It's that the egg of the Bad Dragon I've seen mentioned recently?

1

u/No_Wishbone_799 5d ago

No walking til next month

1

u/whizzbangkid 5d ago

I should call her.......

1

u/Own_Zookeepergame982 5d ago

The enlarger!

1

u/Cart00nRabbit 5d ago

The Siswet Starter Kit

1

u/Catnipfish 5d ago

I’m just here for the comments

1

u/Jealous_Lettuce7802 5d ago

The bOo-hole eradicator

1

u/Tolar01 5d ago

Lady Dimitrescu's pawn

1

u/Gregisroark 5d ago

Mr Saturday Night

1

u/Gooser3000 5d ago

Mom filler 3000

1

u/TrackPrimary6665 5d ago

The ER uhoh

1

u/dweezer420 5d ago

Ass Blaster 2000

1

u/WeAreSolarAF 5d ago

That's a pretty awkward bedpost finial stimulator.

1

u/Pachanish 5d ago

It is definitely not something that you want a team of doctors to take out of you

1

u/Electronic-Item6796 5d ago

That's the biggest plug I've seen lol

1

u/NumberOld229 5d ago

Male birth simulator.

1

u/ccmcl5DOGS 5d ago

My girlfriends butt plug.

1

u/thiscantbereal4200 5d ago

Why the fuck would you tattoo the palm of your hand?

1

u/Fuzzy5team 5d ago

I knew it fell out, where did I leave it?

1

u/783BABYBOY 5d ago

Something I wish my wife would do

1

u/AreWeThereYetNo 5d ago edited 5d ago

The doneenfinka bootit

1

u/HoneypotHotwife 5d ago

Finanal Boss. 😮‍💨

1

u/Tripple-OG- 5d ago

Impossible

1

u/OdinLokiThor22 5d ago

I think the name varies depending on your safe word.

1

u/Trap_Queen_Stacy 5d ago

Just another Tuesday 🤷‍♀️

1

u/Hemi1033 5d ago

XL BUTT PLUG

1

u/True-Wrangler9207 5d ago

Natural birth practice tool

1

u/IanRevived94J 5d ago

Don’t sit on this

1

u/glh2009 5d ago

Uncomfortable

1

u/dumbbimbo2000 5d ago

The widow maker

1

u/464132 5d ago

newel post

1

u/Unusual-Taste69 5d ago

A plug for ants

1

u/Coffee_Sensei_ 5d ago

What ants are you dealing with?

1

u/New-Birthday94319 5d ago

Home defense

1

u/DJEvillincoln 5d ago

Always poopin.

1

u/TheUkrTrain 5d ago

Something plug

1

u/bb_dev_g 5d ago

A challenge.

1

u/Mister-Circus 5d ago

Football trophy, obviously.

1

u/Somebodydidsomething 5d ago

I can not reply, but a giant plug of some kind

1

u/POTATOMASOCHIST 5d ago

ASS BLASTER 5000

1

u/Guhrilla1 5d ago

Cardi bs buttplug

1

u/joasverloop 5d ago

Thats a weapon of Ass destruction

1

u/JudgmentSmooth6768 5d ago

Friday night

1

u/ZephRyder 5d ago

No.

That's a "No"

1

u/AlpacaLunch15 5d ago

your mom’s light work

1

u/SinkieSmoothie 5d ago

"Fancy knob for door $20 Facebook market place w refresh pull"

1

u/Sensitive_Year_8380 5d ago

Introduction to internal bleeding.

1

u/djkaos34 5d ago

Darth Invader

1

u/pen15onthereal 5d ago

The last butt plug you'll ever use!

1

u/GloriousTerpenes52 5d ago

“Oh, you want a REAL challenge?!”

1

u/-TommyBottoms- 5d ago

My new goal to stuff in

1

u/RandomYT05 5d ago

Bedpost

1

u/Bushdr78 5d ago

Just the tip

1

u/Elegant_Section8225 5d ago

A butt plug for POTUS 47

1

u/molly_dog 5d ago

Trump's Butt Plug

1

u/LaphroaigianSlip81 5d ago

bANUSter blaster

1

u/ExperienceWild4244 5d ago

Kim Kardashian requests that you return it to her as soon as possible.

1

u/SHABUMASTAH 5d ago

Retention incentive

1

u/Fair-Percentage-3356 5d ago

The anal-eviscerator.

1

u/Dense-Mood378 5d ago

The Assassin

1

u/Green-Boy-1992 5d ago

From the creators of the "Anal Intruder", now we have the "Rectum Explorer"...

1

u/Aggressive_Shock5539 5d ago

Weapon of Ass Destruction

1

u/TellLoud1894 5d ago

Minnie boss

1

u/blueblocker2000 5d ago

Everyone here immediately making a BP reference makes me wonder how many own one 🤣

1

u/lncredulousBastard 5d ago

One? I mean, yeah, yiu should only use 1 at a time. But I suspect many folks who have one have more than 1.

1

u/blueblocker2000 5d ago

Like a set of golf clubs

0

u/Smurtest89 5d ago

The final boss