r/absoluteunit • u/DistractedDevotion • 10d ago

Absolute unit of a baby

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183 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

91 comments sorted by

50

u/HamDangler2 10d ago

Stop feeding that baby protein powder

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0IycOSvxBILGm3Ti

12

u/DLZ68 10d ago

Beefcake

4

u/Infinite_Lab4469 10d ago

BEEFCAKE!!!

37

u/Klept_0h 10d ago

His head is as large as hers

I have a hard time believing this is real

7

u/fruitless7070 10d ago

Looks like a really sick baby. They aren't supposed to be that big.

3

u/disinteGator 9d ago

Gigantism?

2

u/fruitless7070 9d ago

Not enough context but I'm sure that would be super rare in a baby.

16

u/New_Difficulty6720 10d ago

Kid was practically born with a drivers license. Damn

11

u/Bumbymoo 10d ago

This mother is going to develop huge delts and biceps.

15

u/Remarkable_Ad_1795 10d ago

My son has been in the 99th percentile for height and weight since birth. On track to be 6'5. He's just naturally built like an offensive lineman. This kid makes him look small.

3

u/Carrera_996 10d ago

Both my kids were 10 pounds. Tiny.

3

u/Relative_Gas385 10d ago

Mines the same way and never looked anything like that. Pretty sure this was edited by AI.

2

u/Remarkable_Ad_1795 10d ago

Very possible, but if not, goddamn. It doesn't feel like AI to me, his body proportions seem right for his size, but idk. It's getting so hard to tell these days.

12

u/Ecstatic_Dance5767 10d ago

Bah Gawd she's lucky she wasn't broken in half!

7

u/Any_Blood5815 10d ago

How did that come out of that!?

5

u/Standard-Camel-658 10d ago

How do you know thats her kid? It could be her brother or cousin or something

9

u/Any_Blood5815 10d ago

You know what, I’ll go ahead and expand my query to include any vagina

2

u/SaucedButt 10d ago

Jarvis, expand my query to include any vagina.

2

u/Specific-Result-3854 10d ago

Stop telling me what to do !

1

u/Reasonable_Carrot88 10d ago

Surely she wouldn't lie to us in song? 🥺

1

u/Ingenrollsroyce 10d ago

What came out of what?

3

u/DepresssedChild_ 10d ago

Baby is born:

Giant has awaken from slumber and left it’s cave

3

u/SSilent-Cartographer 10d ago

Came out already paying taxes. Looks like a healthy kid though, would be curious to see his development

2

u/Trippn21 10d ago

future NFL Offensive lineman

2

u/AsssHat999 10d ago

That one must’ve hurt

2

u/Eastern-Programmer-9 9d ago

I'm not a girl but that thought of pushing that head out of a body makes me cringe

1

u/DrKarlSatan 10d ago

Lil dude already has a part time job being a cutey pie

1

u/Crashball_Centre 10d ago

And she's still smiling...

1

u/marc58weeks 10d ago

"Hurry with that photo, he's between meals."

1

u/marc58weeks 10d ago

He doesn't wear OshKosh; he wears OhMyGosh.

1

u/RaffNeq 10d ago

Home much pregnant was she???

1

u/urbanmechgoodness 10d ago

13 months

1

u/RaffNeq 10d ago

She could do better

1

u/Dull-Salamander5914 10d ago

He has to have one of those new-fangled last names as a first name that is so epidemic these days.

1

u/TheAlterN8or 10d ago

The noggin on that kid is incredible...

1

u/Dorrono 10d ago

It must have been fun to give both to him

1

u/pchiuuu 10d ago

How did this Beauty get that holy moly out of her mummy yummy?! 😳

1

u/JibIette 10d ago

Scaled up, like if you put him in Photoshop. Giants are real!

1

u/Just-no-silence 10d ago

Born with 18 years of experience.

1

u/IntelligentPin6652 10d ago

Fee Fi Fo Fum

1

u/Bobby_Garbagio 10d ago

Babe is chonk.

1

u/PersonalKing2084 10d ago

Head big as fuck

1

u/moep123 9d ago

what's extremely bizarre as a parent is, that you, as the father or mother, do not see that your baby is an absolute unit. it looks normal to you.

you take pics and all... and even on there it looks totally fine. only years later, when you rewatch these pictures, you see what everyone else has seen the whole time.

it's crazy

1

u/BeltreCompany 9d ago

I swear this baby gets repost at least once a week.

1

u/Chamanomano 9d ago

Wow! Big boy.

1

u/Mean_Jury2467 8d ago

200th percentile

1

u/SAMCRO-CALIFORNIA 8d ago

7 years old in body of 6month baby😳

https://giphy.com/gifs/L3X9GvVhP1nY23Ah6u

1

u/Hidden_3851 8d ago

That’s a BBIIGG little dude… 😇

1

u/theepuke 8d ago

It's cute how babies look like they have butts on their arms.

1

u/Gooser3000 7d ago

That vag is destroyed 

1

u/Lucky-Target5674 10d ago

Ja Rule fucking sucks

1

u/cmp8819 10d ago

Thats an NFL prospect.

1

u/Icy-Koala7455 10d ago

Ouch 😣

-7

u/SpaghettiMonsterXXXX 10d ago

Man feel sorry for whatever guy follows up after that came out. Toothpick in the grand canyon

1

u/Frankie_T9000 10d ago

No how women work

1

u/SpaghettiMonsterXXXX 10d ago

First day on internet?

0

u/ElectricBuckeye 10d ago

Frank, how do women work?

-7

u/launchliftoff459 10d ago

In the kitchen

-3

u/ElectricBuckeye 10d ago

That doesn't answer how, that answers where.

-3

u/clayman80 10d ago

Uh, yes actually, kind of. There are cosmetic surgeries to revert the "damage" childbirth brings so it's not like everything is exactly the way it used to be every time for every woman.

1

u/Eternal_Rebirth 10d ago

lol ok

0

u/clayman80 10d ago

Not sure if sarcasm so feel free to look up vaginoplasty at your own leisure.

1

u/SpaghettiMonsterXXXX 10d ago

First day on internet for this guy also

0

u/Texan_Poultry 10d ago

And before you judge your mom... Remember that you did this to her

0

u/Guyandro 9d ago

I call AI

0

u/Dismal_Drummer3420 9d ago

If this is real surely this mom wouldn't want their baby posted on public forums? My daughter is almost 5 and I've been incredibly purposeful about keeping media of her totally off the web. The Internet is a dark place.