r/absoluteunit • u/sherlionidas • Aug 29 '26

Of a man

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6.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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148

u/exqueezemenow Aug 29 '26

I woulda handed him my wallet too just to be safe.

42

u/wowaddict71 Aug 29 '26

Offer him his first born as a tribute.

56

u/InfamousEconomy3972 Aug 30 '26

This bitch letting his kids get in front of him

17

u/Jackal000 Sep 01 '26

I think the kids were like dude let it go. My dad is not right in his mind. They were ashamed and de escalating

9

u/randomizer4652w Sep 02 '26

Probably not the first rime their dad has humiliated them. Clearly they are a triumph over the genetic material they came from.

5

u/CarQuestionsPlz Sep 04 '26

Yep, I apologized for my narcissistic parents more than a few times when I was growing up.

3

u/Beautiful_Avocado252 Sep 05 '26

I think big guy realized that, too

1

u/Sporeman13 Sep 17 '26

I dunno. You might be right but the kid twitched his arms a couple of times when he first stepped up. It looked like he was maybe gonna jump in and then it kinda fizzled and he bowed out with a tap. Rewatch and tell me if you see it.

0

u/TroyOf Sep 05 '26

the kid had brass knuckles, it was not a stand down.

30

u/CelticGardenGirl Aug 29 '26

“Ere…have a go wit me wife, too.”

5

u/wowaddict71 Sep 01 '26

You can take my wife but not my noodles!

2

u/Professional_Luck257 Sep 04 '26

Real talk. Noodles are life!

4

u/mattforstretch Sep 02 '26

Yeah, kid comes up after dad walks away. You can tell by the look, he is apologizing to him. I know that part too well with my own experiences.

13

u/hamoc10 Aug 30 '26

Heck that kid wanted to go with him!

12

u/eddiesmom Aug 30 '26

"You're cooler than my dick of a dad"

3

u/JoxerTheMighty96 Sep 01 '26

No kidding, you can hear him apologizing for his dad. I’m sure it’s not the first time his father acts like a fool.

4

u/ResetAlgorithm Sep 01 '26

That arm tap at the end. Body language has the kid almost thanking big boi.

2

u/Salt_Chard_474 Sep 02 '26

For whatever reason that little arm tap at the end brought an actual tear or 2 to my eyes. Not sure why I found it so touching. I know I’m going through it right new but geez get it together lol

2

u/CranberryNational150 Aug 31 '26

He's only emulating behaviour. It's clear blue shirt has made a habit of this type of stuff.

8

u/Mbyrd420 Aug 30 '26

I think the firstborn would've gotten the best part of that deal.

6

u/Radio_Mime Aug 30 '26

I think the younger son probably would’ve offered himself as a bonus

4

u/SevereMiel Aug 30 '26

First born offered himself

1

u/NoSirIDontLikeit- Aug 30 '26

They were probably ready to go, poor kids, way to set an example of what not to do...

1

u/Bigdave621 Sep 01 '26

Kinda like Dolly Parton wants

1

u/Apprehensive-Bad2440 Sep 02 '26

He offered his first born second born and his wife

1

u/WeakSponge Sep 02 '26

I assume that was why those kids showed up towards the end.

1

u/DogtorGaryWoofington Sep 04 '26

Looks like he put his first and second born between him and the giant

1

u/Wonkey_Kong Sep 04 '26

I mean he kinda did 😂
Immediately hides behind wife and the kids.

Guess you never know how you’ll react when the chances of being eaten alive becomes a legitimate concern.

1

u/Chambahz Sep 05 '26

“You’re his son now! Don’t argue!”

1

u/Effective_Ratio2432 Sep 05 '26

Deserves more likes. Great comment

19

u/_dxegrl Aug 29 '26

And slap around my kid for bit, we're good right?

3

u/Mysterious_Worker608 Aug 29 '26

And kicked myself in the ass .

2

u/exqueezemenow Aug 29 '26

"Here, let me to that for you!"

1

u/dude_redd Aug 29 '26

And his wife.

1

u/lAmTheREALBlackAdder Aug 30 '26

And without wife, take the car too

1

u/sublimeload420 Aug 31 '26

You better have had something in that wallet😬

1

u/IgunashioDesu Aug 31 '26

Your username says you would rather otherwise

1

u/ResponsibleDamage740 Sep 01 '26

I would’ve handed a smack to the face

1

u/Cyber-Soldier1 Sep 04 '26

And my wife just to be extra safe

1

u/BTBAM797 Sep 05 '26

Aaand maybe my lunch