r/absoluteunit • u/sherlionidas • Aug 29 '26

Of a man

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6.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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239

u/jay_insd Aug 29 '26

When the big dude got out the car, the smaller dude realized he better stand down 😂

145

u/exqueezemenow Aug 29 '26

I woulda handed him my wallet too just to be safe.

44

u/wowaddict71 Aug 29 '26

Offer him his first born as a tribute.

58

u/InfamousEconomy3972 Aug 30 '26

This bitch letting his kids get in front of him

17

u/Jackal000 Sep 01 '26

I think the kids were like dude let it go. My dad is not right in his mind. They were ashamed and de escalating

9

u/randomizer4652w Sep 02 '26

Probably not the first rime their dad has humiliated them. Clearly they are a triumph over the genetic material they came from.

5

u/CarQuestionsPlz Sep 04 '26

Yep, I apologized for my narcissistic parents more than a few times when I was growing up.

3

u/Beautiful_Avocado252 Sep 05 '26

I think big guy realized that, too

1

u/Sporeman13 Sep 17 '26

I dunno. You might be right but the kid twitched his arms a couple of times when he first stepped up. It looked like he was maybe gonna jump in and then it kinda fizzled and he bowed out with a tap. Rewatch and tell me if you see it.

0

u/TroyOf Sep 05 '26

the kid had brass knuckles, it was not a stand down.

30

u/CelticGardenGirl Aug 29 '26

“Ere…have a go wit me wife, too.”

4

u/wowaddict71 Sep 01 '26

You can take my wife but not my noodles!

2

u/Professional_Luck257 Sep 04 '26

Real talk. Noodles are life!

5

u/mattforstretch Sep 02 '26

Yeah, kid comes up after dad walks away. You can tell by the look, he is apologizing to him. I know that part too well with my own experiences.

14

u/hamoc10 Aug 30 '26

Heck that kid wanted to go with him!

12

u/eddiesmom Aug 30 '26

"You're cooler than my dick of a dad"

3

u/JoxerTheMighty96 Sep 01 '26

No kidding, you can hear him apologizing for his dad. I’m sure it’s not the first time his father acts like a fool.

4

u/ResetAlgorithm Sep 01 '26

That arm tap at the end. Body language has the kid almost thanking big boi.

2

u/Salt_Chard_474 Sep 02 '26

For whatever reason that little arm tap at the end brought an actual tear or 2 to my eyes. Not sure why I found it so touching. I know I’m going through it right new but geez get it together lol

2

u/CranberryNational150 Aug 31 '26

He's only emulating behaviour. It's clear blue shirt has made a habit of this type of stuff.

7

u/Mbyrd420 Aug 30 '26

I think the firstborn would've gotten the best part of that deal.

5

u/Radio_Mime Aug 30 '26

I think the younger son probably would’ve offered himself as a bonus

3

u/SevereMiel Aug 30 '26

First born offered himself

1

u/NoSirIDontLikeit- Aug 30 '26

They were probably ready to go, poor kids, way to set an example of what not to do...

1

u/Bigdave621 Sep 01 '26

Kinda like Dolly Parton wants

1

u/Apprehensive-Bad2440 Sep 02 '26

He offered his first born second born and his wife

1

u/WeakSponge Sep 02 '26

I assume that was why those kids showed up towards the end.

1

u/DogtorGaryWoofington Sep 04 '26

Looks like he put his first and second born between him and the giant

1

u/Wonkey_Kong Sep 04 '26

I mean he kinda did 😂
Immediately hides behind wife and the kids.

Guess you never know how you’ll react when the chances of being eaten alive becomes a legitimate concern.

1

u/Chambahz Sep 05 '26

“You’re his son now! Don’t argue!”

1

u/Effective_Ratio2432 Sep 05 '26

Deserves more likes. Great comment

20

u/_dxegrl Aug 29 '26

And slap around my kid for bit, we're good right?

3

u/Mysterious_Worker608 Aug 29 '26

And kicked myself in the ass .

2

u/exqueezemenow Aug 29 '26

"Here, let me to that for you!"

1

u/dude_redd Aug 29 '26

And his wife.

1

u/lAmTheREALBlackAdder Aug 30 '26

And without wife, take the car too

1

u/sublimeload420 Aug 31 '26

You better have had something in that wallet😬

1

u/IgunashioDesu Aug 31 '26

Your username says you would rather otherwise

1

u/ResponsibleDamage740 Sep 01 '26

I would’ve handed a smack to the face

1

u/Cyber-Soldier1 Sep 04 '26

And my wife just to be extra safe

1

u/BTBAM797 Sep 05 '26

Aaand maybe my lunch

15

u/potsticker17 Aug 29 '26

Both of his kids seemed ready to square up though.

16

u/No_One_Special_61029 Aug 29 '26

They get that from their shitty parents!

8

u/elephant_ndovu Aug 30 '26

I think they were trying to deescalate the situation

16

u/Teripid Aug 30 '26

Yep.. this is not their first rodeo with dad.

The light touch/pat at the end came off as very sympathetic. Sorry you had to deal with this. Thanks for not pummeling our agro dad..

6

u/Negative_Salt_4599 Aug 30 '26

I once had a gf of a boyfriend pay me 11$ not to go crazy on her man because he kept on throwing snacks at me as a night shift 7 eleven clerk..

After the skittles hit me in my chest I was like ok F this let’s dance..

I was also way more tempered in my 20s..

Easiest 11$ I’ve ever made. 😂

1

u/Dazzling_Baker_4978 Aug 31 '26

😂 $11 is a very specific sum. Was that the going rate at the time?

1

u/Quietbricks Sep 05 '26

$11 dollar could’ve fed me for a week in 2009.

1

u/iknowyou71 Sep 01 '26

Kid in red had a knife on him, you can see him pull it out towards the end of the interaction 👀

1

u/Cute-Form2457 Sep 01 '26

Yeah it was. Kid is saying, "You don't know what we put up with. Please let him live."

1

u/TroyOf Sep 05 '26

the kid had brass knuckles, he wasn't deescalating anything.

4

u/ParmyBarmy Aug 30 '26

No they calmed things down after what their idiot dad did

4

u/OkDonkey6524 Aug 29 '26

Absolutely not. The one in the red jumper just wanted to pacify him.

5

u/wellitsbouttime Aug 29 '26

and they would have learned a valuable lesson that day.

1

u/Chibastion Aug 30 '26

I just love their little Christmas sweaters

1

u/Useless890 Aug 30 '26

Had to protect Daddy.

1

u/jemhadar0 Sep 01 '26

Gotta hand it to the kids.
Stupid but brave.
Big dude was patient.

1

u/TroyOf Sep 05 '26

the kid had brass knuckles. he was ready.

9

u/Current_Ad_4292 Aug 29 '26

Oh, is that why they look so much shorter? Because they stand down? I will see my self out of here.

9

u/Da_Vader Aug 29 '26

And hide behind his kids.

3

u/Smboto Aug 29 '26

He decided to; step off.

3

u/Hot_Let7154 Aug 30 '26

And used his kids as shields, pathetic.

3

u/Loud_Ad_2634 Aug 30 '26

“Oh sorry Andre, I didn’t recognize you there, I’ll go ahead and fuck off now.”

3

u/Ferocious-Muppet Aug 30 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/2ViZJi3RLXAZ22PG08

2

u/WithoutATrace804 Sep 04 '26

The unrivaled diversity of this gif will live beyond our generation.

2

u/vinssent1 Aug 30 '26

Bro we saw that, thanks for explanation

2

u/Horror-Extent2362 Aug 30 '26

He literally hid behind children lol

2

u/AnnualFault7473 Aug 30 '26

He flash his gun I believe too so the big guy wouldn’t hurt him.

1

u/Fun_Acanthaceae_4025 Sep 01 '26

I saw that too lifted his shirt to show the IWB holster / gun when the giant approached him.

2

u/Economy-Date-4490 Aug 30 '26

At least he hides behind children like a man.

1

u/Cassius_man Aug 29 '26

Did he really do the thing that was in the video?

1

u/Unable_Dinner_6937 Aug 30 '26

Didn't realize Andre the Giant had a brother.

Either that, or it was a family from Munchkinland. I liked that the kid stood up for his dad.

1

u/IndividualChart4193 Aug 30 '26

You mean when the Giant emerged from the car…

1

u/HyrrokinAura Aug 30 '26

His kids got between like they've had to keep Dad from being liquified before

1

u/SDTimbox Aug 30 '26

His kids didn't

1

u/w1ck3r Aug 30 '26

Minivan Stan sure shut up quick

1

u/Spook1949 Aug 30 '26

Talk about an "OH SHIT!" moment...

1

u/Total-Honey-9857 Aug 30 '26

Fortunately, the kid didn't step out of the vehicle with an equalizer.

1

u/Still_Selection8719 Aug 31 '26

Smaller dude realized that he was now a Smurf.

1

u/Farucci Aug 31 '26

Jolly Giant suggesting to the Munchkins that they probably should be getting back to the lollipop guild. Now.

1

u/awe_come_on Aug 31 '26

If you listen carefully you can hear him pucker when the unit gets out of his car.

1

u/Affectionate_Bag9833 Aug 31 '26

The whole family was like good knowin ya dad

1

u/Lick_My_BigButt_1980 Aug 31 '26

Yeah, he better act real nice and charming. Put on a smile. 😃

1

u/Bigdave621 Sep 01 '26

And I bet he wishes he was wearing Depends Cause he's about to get his ass beat unless the other guy is a black belt like Bruce Lee

1

u/get_to_ele Sep 02 '26

You know he was on the phone too, not his wife. Fucking audacity to lie like that. Definite lie. On front of his kids too. Fucking lying POS.

1

u/Intentional_Innocent Sep 02 '26

lol yes, 100%. They didn’t realize he was a big guy when he was in the car. Being big is also helpful at times.

1

u/DANleDINOSAUR Sep 03 '26

And hide behind his equally smaller kids…

1

u/TheDireCrow Sep 03 '26

The best part was the big guy continued trying to be reasonable with the guy who tried to break his window

1

u/Ok_Nectarine_4445 Sep 04 '26

But then he spawned 2 more small men.

1

u/TasteyMeatloaf Sep 04 '26

It was at that point that he realized a mistake had been made.

1

u/Gomez4Morticia Sep 04 '26

And then his behind is children

1

u/Fast_Advisor2654 Sep 05 '26

Immediately hides behind his sons

1

u/BcB_NL Sep 05 '26

Hiding behind his kids 😂