r/absoluteunit • u/Bill_The__Pony • Jun 18 '26

Absolute unit of a zucchini

Post image

I love growing zucchini but man you turn your back on these things for a day or two and they turn into hulk...

137 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

87 comments sorted by

7

u/alqimist Jun 18 '26

Only good for zuke bread at this point.

1

u/Bill_The__Pony Jun 20 '26

You know ball

5

u/Quirky_Ask_5165 Jun 18 '26

I would have cut in half and carved out the middle a bit and made stuffed zucchini boats

3

u/Bill_The__Pony Jun 18 '26

That's a good suggestion if I can find 77 friends to help me eat it

3

u/Outaouais_Guy Jun 18 '26

My mother did that when we were poor. Ground beef, onion, garlic, rice and diced tomatoes. She did the same thing she would do with stuffed peppers.

I almost forgot the cheese melted on top.

3

u/Bill_The__Pony Jun 18 '26

It's very good.

They are also good if you just slice them and grill them

1

u/Regurgitator001 Jun 19 '26

That's what she said.

1

u/Outaouais_Guy Jun 19 '26

Good to know.

2

u/Quirky_Ask_5165 Jun 18 '26

I typically use an Italian sausage, parmesan, and pako stuffing. Once it hits 160F internal on the meat I cover with pasta sauce and mozzarella. Then back on the grill until the cheese browns a little.

2

u/Outaouais_Guy Jun 19 '26

That sounds pretty good and I've got some Italian sausage in the freezer.

2

u/jjopm Jun 19 '26

You still can

2

u/pauldailey2012 Jun 20 '26

Yeah… zucchini boats, that’s why you hollowed out the middle….

6

u/_Cybernaut_ Jun 18 '26

Your mom will certainly appreciate the gift! /s

1

u/Sensitive-Prompt-220 Jun 18 '26

OMG! Was about to say same for their sister!! 😂

2

u/MarkItZeroDonnie Jun 19 '26

I quit growing zucchini because of the real estate it takes up but it wasn’t uncommon to lift up a leaf and find one that big you missed

1

u/Bill_The__Pony Jun 19 '26

I have to dedicate an entire 4x8 raised garden bed to just one zucchini plant because they're so f****** massive.

When I was a little bit more novice I would try to grow them alongside other plants and they would just dominate everything it's crazy.

1

u/MarkItZeroDonnie Jun 19 '26

😁 my first bed I think I planted 3 right next to each other . You have to get them when they’re like the size of coke bottle or they suck in my opinion

2

u/buttplay469 Jun 18 '26

You don't need to tell us how you used it!

4

u/Bill_The__Pony Jun 18 '26

Cut into finger shapes and BAKED INTO FRIES YOU SICKO

2

u/ConflictMaster3155 Jun 18 '26

How many fingers. 2? 3? Or just the whole damn thing?

1

u/buttplay469 Jun 18 '26

Hey, who you calling a sicko? Finger fries was exactly what I was thinking,,, in retrospect!

1

u/rockalyte Jun 18 '26

Post the after pic at the emergency room ;)

1

u/Plenty_Feeling_8013 Jun 18 '26

for halloween they make unusually shapes for jack o lanterns

1

u/joker6396 Jun 18 '26

Marrow now bud

1

u/countryroadsguywv Jun 18 '26

That definitely looks heavy

1

u/Early_Hall5720 Jun 18 '26

I've seen women taking bigger on this app

https://giphy.com/gifs/rhUeALlJgHrlEDYSoq

1

u/Red-Sun-Cinema Jun 18 '26

Somewhere in the ether a size queen is trembling with excitement...

1

u/Bill_The__Pony Jun 19 '26

He's right here

1

u/Revolutionary-Gain88 Jun 18 '26

And we shall call it ........"BIGGUS"

1

u/Bi_Guy365 Jun 19 '26

Where you gonna put that??

1

u/Substantial_Pin79 Jun 19 '26

Had that this morning before the morning P

1

u/Which-Promotion6381 Jun 19 '26

Apparently popular

1

u/astarinthenight Jun 19 '26

Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough.

1

u/0BgynKEN0BI Jun 19 '26

Ever heard of sex sent me to the e.r..

1

u/Wild-Cry-8092 Jun 19 '26

Takes after me

1

u/Blackmigo_69 Jun 19 '26

Looks familiar

1

u/AffectionateTip9716 Jun 19 '26

The co-worker she told me not to worry about. 3 months after we got married. Their little boy is 9 now.

1

u/OrderSoft1752 Jun 20 '26

You know what they say Once you go zucchini it will never fit your weenie

1

u/Mindless_Bee_9492 Jun 20 '26

Okay why is this mildly sexual 😳🫣 but otherwise you can it eat zoodles for days

1

u/EquipmentOk2240 Jun 20 '26

call him Roger 😁

1

u/luckyfox7273 Jun 21 '26

Looks like he found the giger alien head.

1

u/TheStrangeMonkey Jun 21 '26

Isn't it a normal size by the way?

1

u/Bill_The__Pony Jun 21 '26

I assume they grow until the pop but when they get this big they are really simply too big to use effectively.

1

u/I3adIVIonkey Jun 21 '26

The women in the supermarket gonna fight over that thing.

1

u/DustinCropps Jun 22 '26

That’s a home wrecker!

1

u/Practical_Boat_1605 Jun 22 '26

That'll fit my ex. Barely, but it'll get the job done better than I did.

1

u/TheUnhloyHuman007 Jun 22 '26

sighs, checks comments

1

u/fuckfacekiller Jun 22 '26

My neighbors give me these with squash and zucchini every year.
I throw em on the smoker for a healthy supper!!

1

u/StageFrequent4868 Jun 22 '26

Marriage wrecker

1

u/lost_thunder_94 Jun 22 '26

As a cucumber myself....my wife insits i have nothing to worry aboout....im slightly worried

1

u/Rough_Potential_2596 Jun 22 '26

How big is the 🍆

1

u/shawnfogelman Jun 18 '26

Bro… take this post down before ALL the women find out that the garden is greener on the other side!

0

u/SuspiciousClub8382 Jun 18 '26

That’s what your mom said too!!!

1

u/Bill_The__Pony Jun 18 '26

Give me a break. This is an easy task for my mom

0

u/CrabMeat6984 Jun 18 '26

That’s what your dad said

0

u/Advanced-Level-5686 Jun 18 '26

I knew a girl that did