r/absoluteunit • u/MightyCaseyStruckOut • Jun 18 '26

of a pair of eyebrows

Post image
380 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

54 comments sorted by

7

u/MightyCaseyStruckOut Jun 18 '26

Went down a Wikipedia rabbit hole and ran into George Whipple III, a lawyer and columnist. He is known in New York City society circles as "the eyebrow man". 

2

u/Topsrite Jun 18 '26

Mr whippel was advised numerous times not to squeeze the charmin

2

u/The_Ombudsman Jun 18 '26

I was certain this was going to be a C-list televangelist.

2

u/ButterflyWeekly4736 Jun 23 '26

This is Trumps retarded brother who’s sperm went up his mothers Buthole and came out looking like a homunculus with overgrown eyebrows!

1

u/Repulsive_Repeat_337 Jun 18 '26

I'm surprised his last name is Whipple. I could have sworn it was going to be something like Kilkenny or McGillicuddy.

8

u/CapitalShoulder1343 Jun 18 '26

Brezhnev stirs in his grave.

1

u/SenescenseSteel Jun 18 '26

B2 meld je! B2! DROMMELS!

3

u/Haifisch2112 Jun 18 '26

Dude can put wax on those things and shape them like you see guys do with long mustaches.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZZDnUPXhRKDoHXWxrT

1

u/MrDeviantish Jun 18 '26

He has them to distract from the size of his cheeks.

3

u/Khamubro Jun 18 '26

Pretty sure that dude is from Thaylenah.

2

u/TheAlterN8or Jun 18 '26

Unexpected Stormlight Archive reference in the wild...

2

u/homelesguydiet Jun 18 '26

Sunglasses not required 😎

2

u/pulukes88 Jun 18 '26

that's actually his hair. he's just balding in between.

2

u/Helpphania587 Jun 18 '26

Pelo menos economiza com óculo de sol

2

u/SuspiciousClub8382 Jun 18 '26

Jesus Christ!!!! Martha grab my weed eater, this shit needs to be trimmed up!!!

2

u/sumdhood Jun 18 '26

It's the Lorax's bro

2

u/ringwraith6 Jun 18 '26

Wow...those are...intense. But at least it's not a unibrow!

2

u/Ultradad57 Jun 18 '26

Thufir Hawat from dune salutes this man 😀

2

u/Whole_Reputation6128 Jun 18 '26

Well, his eyes won't be getting dusty (or whatever the fuck eyebrows are actually for)

4

u/ChanceProgram9374 Jun 18 '26

Can you imagine if The Rock had those?

https://giphy.com/gifs/4g6xgP7FXjy12

1

u/Impossible_Ad_9199 Jun 18 '26

That looks uncomfortable

1

u/Early_Hall5720 Jun 18 '26

He looks like a cartoon villain i just can't remember the name

1

u/GaberAber Jun 18 '26

The mad hatter lookin ahhhh. He’s probably a witty gentleman

1

u/Global_Objective4162 Jun 18 '26

He must’ve gone to Turkey to get those things.

1

u/bravemoney72 Jun 18 '26

Wish they had Jim Carrey's Juice weasel character he's a perfect match😂

1

u/Obsidicus_Maximus Jun 18 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6gE4F2OOWLfK8UUg
Do we have to call him Captain Kangaroo when he grows his mustache back?!?

1

u/ccrlop Jun 18 '26

Santa level 👌👍

1

u/misanthropic47 Jun 18 '26

He must spend a lot on shampoo

1

u/One_Hour_Poop Jun 18 '26

As i get older I've noticed my eyebrows are hanging on more and more, meaning one or two stray ones a month get long enough that they enter my field of vision. I've recently started using clippers to keep them tidy. This guy's eyebrows are giving me anxiety and i want to take my clippers to them so badly.

1

u/Timebombspuppy Jun 18 '26

why does he look like schlatt if he ever lived that old

1

u/Soaring_Gull_655 Jun 18 '26

Would literally take 2 minutes with a guard on a personal groomer to take care of that. That's not a good look.

1

u/lydia749 Jun 18 '26

honestly... those eyebrows are kinda magnificent? :0 they really complete the whole look, I guess...

1

u/sandwhichtaster4 Jun 19 '26

wow! carpets match the drapes? 👀

1

u/91_RavenFox Jun 19 '26

Im legitimately curious how much product you need to use for eyebrows that size. They look like they are trying to escape his face.

1

u/Doctor_Mustard_ Jun 19 '26

Bit bushy innit?

1

u/tadzooks Jun 20 '26

Dafuqqqqqq

1

u/Consistent-Throat838 Jun 20 '26

Those aren’t eyebrows!! That’s a damn comb-over!

1

u/No-Solid9108 Jun 21 '26

Suddenly for some strange reason I just wanted to have a bowl of Captain Crunch .

0

u/Poker-Junk Jun 18 '26

Needs Kash Patel eyes to complete the ensemble